I have "Is this real world?" feeling

[tien765]

I'm a 21 years old guy who have untreated depression and I have depersonalization sometimes. Yesterday, my sister complained me about a thing I didn't do. I was angry but I didn't argue because I knew I will not win. It made my mind goes empty and the depersonalization come back. I lost a lot of awareness. This afternoon when I crossed the street, I forgot to check the pedestrian light and I crossed when the traffic light was about to turn green. When I was at the middle of the street, I saw the cars starting to move and I quickly jumped on a piece of concrete near there. I waited for another red light to finish crossing the street.

It was a terrible experience and now I wonder whether I was hit by a car and died. I feel no longer connected with this world.

[freddie8605]

How do you think you died and can use a computer to write this all down?
I understand you are distressed and Mammo is right i think seeing a psychiatrist is a good idea, and telling a professional about this will help sort out the feelings of being disconnected from this world.

Hope this helps
Freddie

[mammo]

No....you didn't die and I doubt you were hit by a car.  But you need to seek medical help for your depression, it's not going to get better on it's own.  Therapy and/or medication will help you, see a psychiatrist and go from there, but get help.  I hope this helps and we're always here for you!