I think I'm depressed

[Thats_Me_sorry]

I'll start by introducing myself. Im 13 and I have only a close group of good friends that I can trust, im shy and quiet most of the time but I can be out going sometimes. So lately I've been really out of it. I've been sad all the time and just not myself. I haven't cut myself but it's gotten really close to it, I've held a knife at my skin and almost broke it but I've stopped myself. My mom told me before if I cut myself that she would beat me half to death. I've thought about suiside but I'm to scared. I told my cousin that I thought I was depressed but she said "that happens to everyone, your fine." I tried to tell my sister but she said it's just my hormones. My two closest friends approached me together and told me that I've been different lately and asked me what's wrong do I told them. They have been kinda supportive but then after a while they said that I was just wanting attention. I think I'm depressed because my dad left me when I was 8 and well its a long story  and I recently found out that my mom does drugs. I found this out by looking in the crack in her door because I thought she was sleeping and I accidentally cut myself on my leg when I was shaving. Then after that everything just fit together. I don't know what to do. My mom isn't really the supportive type and my grandparents always think I'm bluffing and will knock me down as soon as I tell them. The rest of my family kinda hates me. What do I do? I feel like the world could just collapse at any time. Im sorry if this is long but please help.

[gillydee1]

Hi I have suffered from depression from my early teens. Like you I was and still am shy and quiet with a small group of friends it is difficult to admit you feel depressed. some days are hard others are better. I tried to keep things bottled up didn't want to trouble anyone with how I was feeling it didn't work. The best thing I did was speak to one of my friends from work who encouraged me to visit my doctor I went for counselling and got help. Please don't give up speak to a doctor or school nurse there are people there who will help you.

[lasveg23]

A lot of people say that about people who have depression, that they're looking for attention. but I think it's okay for you to be sad because sometimes people get to the point where they don't feel anything at all and some might think that's a good thing but it isn't. I kind of know how you feel, I was feeling that way when I was younger than you, but honestly you're going to be good. Don't let a lot of things bother you and don't overthink a lot. Find some better friends honestly if they think you're looking for attention. Look at the beautiful things in life, find an interest. Hope the best for you

[Ekats]

Just hang in there little buddy it gets better...find solace that this can pass and that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. It's not easy struggling with depression don't listen to people who dismiss it and don't take it seriously, but know this does give you character and empathy and that's special. Try to find a person you can speak to maybe a guidance counsellor at a youth facility or even the hospital if you feel really bad. Don't worry you are not alone. Bless your heart sending you live and strength.