Please don't hurt yourself friend. There is still so much to live for. Your daughter does love you so much.
I do not know whether this story ended in this person ending their life and it hurt me to read this after waking up. Jmurf,you have no obligation to let us know you are ok but I hope you do and I hope you are.
For anyone else reading this I hope you understand that you are allowed to feel weak but don't let yourself believe that you are weak. If you need help just ask for it and you will find it.
Jmurf, please don't do anything or make a decision now. I know what it's like to want to stop the pain once and for all. You don't have a therapist or a good psychiatrist right now. Here are numbers you can call to talk to someone that cares and will listen without judgement....that's all they are there for. You don't have to feel better right now...just reach out for help.
Call 1-800-SUICIDE / 1-800-784-2433
Call 1-800-273-TALK / 1-800-273-8255
Another crappy night and this morning is hard to get going. I have always solved everyone else's problem and I can only see one way to fix this one. She will get the house and her boyfriend will be sleeping in my bed but I will be over her at last. I do not want to hurt anymore and this is my choice. I do thank you for giving me a place to voice my pain and the offers of help but I am tired of crying all day so hard I make myself vomit. I just want the hurt to go away. I will not be posting anymore here. Goodbye one and all goodbye
You really need to get out some and don't let yourself be a prisoner to the house. One of the main things that is bothering you is the absence of that affection and I know how hard it can be at night. I went through the same thing a few years ago and I lost a wife and two young kids all in the same breath taking moment when I found out she was cheating on me.
For me it ultimately took going to treatment. Doing this forced me to be around other people and allowed me to open up and deal with my problems in a safe environment. If this is not an option for you or you refuse to do it then I hope you have a support system in your life that you can turn to. A mentor or group or anyone that you can talk to. For now at least keep checking back here and it is a safe place for you to open up but stop thinking of hurting yourself. I did attempt it a couple of times and it didn't work, I am glad. You may not be as lucky as I was.
start talking venting checking in with me you need a hane and someone to not let you fall over the edge
think of your daughter what it would do to her!!
think of the people you think dont care but in reality they care more than you think and then they say
i dont push or ask religion
but when i have had those thoughts i remember where im going if i do that
do you have city or other parks near you if you do go to one without people
sit in the grass feel life around you listen to relaxing music
if you got a bike just get on it and go for a couple hours towns then back home
if its a home you share stay with a friend relative or hotel
my exwife screwed the town i think
then had her boyfriend and 3 others ambushed me while her boy toy beat me with a steel bar the other 3 just made sure i didnt fight back or they would jump in he beat me good i got permanent shoulder damage from that
i have been there it hurts how could that b#@ i treated like a queen do that to me
so much hurt so much where did i go wrong or could have done better
its them not us
and im here and will be forever if you need someone whose been through it
the forum has more who have been through it and can help you
focus on the good no matter how hard it is to think anything positive at this point
good luck