ICTHINGS

I am getting worried about you as I have not seen you post for a few days.let meknow how you are doing.patnpaul20atmsndotcom
Love Venora

[icthings]

Hi, I'm sorry I wasn't able to post on these past days, I was feeling horrible, I tried to kill myself but as in everything I do I failed. I'm stupid.

I feel horrible...I miss my ex boyfriend so much...I love him...deeply...I miss him...and yesterday as I was lying on the free clinic bed...I realized I'm just a piece of ****, I'm worthless, I'm a loser, I'm useless, I'm an idiot, I can't do anything right, no one will miss me if I die, no one will even care. I'm desperate I don't know what to do, what's the point of keep living...so yeah, I think that's it...

-Alice

[icthings]

What should I do? I need help.

[Venora Moonwind]

Well I am glad you failed in your suicide attempt. I was so relieved to see your post. you keep talking to me sis and we will get through this together. you know there is a reason that we are communicating through this forum. Can they help you at the freen clinic? I will post more later.
Take good care of yourself I am saying prayers for you.
Love Venora

[icthings]

hello, well I'm not glad I failed...I don't find any good reason to live, you have no idea how much I miss him now :/ he used to help me a lot when I had these breakdowns, I've been sucidal since I was little, people say things happen for a reason, they say if he's right for me he'll come back...but oh well it's been 3 months now and I feel worse than ever...I'm such a loser.

Well in the free clinic all they siad was "what pills did you take?" and i was like "uhh sleeping pills" then...you need a psychiatrist, and i was like "ok..is it free?" and they were "no, it's $50 per visit" so NO, I only have $3 on my purse and a $5 bill on my bra.

right now I'm really desperate, I don't know what to do, or what...I'm really nervous i don't know, haven;t ate anything in 2 days same with sleep.

how can I end this? how can I end my life ina an easy and fast way?

[icthings]

I'm really scared.

[sweeteee]

please please get help. i was like you are today and I am much better today. I am sure there is some hospital you can go. Let them bill you. You don't have to pay!! Phuck your credit. You are more important than that. There is also the Lord, who never ever failed me. He is right there next to you to help. Trust me I can feel Him. Call on Him to help you out. Killing yourself is not the answer although I certainly thought it was at one time. Do you have any family to call on? And for the boyfriend...If he ever loved you at all he would be right there next to you like Jesus is now.

debra  I will pray for you

[Venora Moonwind]

It is so important for you not to depend on a man. You cant depend on them.You arent alone either. the Lord and the Lady are there with you.I am here for you as well.I wish I was closer so I could take you to my house till this bad time for you passes.Honey you are worthy to be loved .You arent a loser. you are precious and special.I understand what you are going throughas I have gone through suicidal times my self but I came to realize I have much to live for as you will too.I have been praying for you today. It will break my heart if I dont hear from you. I wish there was more I could do.Your friend,
Love Venora

[terrygerry]

If you are suicidal, you need help.  Go to a hospital.  They cannot turn you away.  Welfare can help you.  If you have no money, ask them to get in touch with social services.  You need not use a credit card.

You must start to find for yourself how good you are and how much you are worth.  A man cannot define your worth.  No one can love you unless you love yourself.  Believe me, I am 57 and finally realizing that.  I felt worthless all my life and letting men use me made me feel even worse.  The sex got in the way of seeing the truth.  Now that I have been alone for a while, I am able to see that I am worthy.  Take care of yourself, please.  The first step is asking for help.

[icthings]

Hi! I haven't been able to post for a while, I've had some horrible problems, I got kicked out of my apartment and I had to sleep on the street for 3 days then a friend found me and told me to go live with him, so here I am! I had to promise him that I wouldn't cut myself again so haven;t done it in a while ;) I got sick from the days i slept on the street because it has been raining :/ so I got wet and you can imagine the rest.

My opinion about myself has not change, I still consider myself a loser and all those things, and I'm aware that I can't let a man define my worth or that I cannot depend on a man but still, I feel worse than ever, i just found out he moved on a now has a girlfriend...I still love him. oh well i think that's all for today..bye ;]

[Venora Moonwind]

oh honey I am soooo glad to see your post.. you have been in my thoughts and prayers.Please take goo dcare of yourself.I am glad your friend was able to help you.Its going to get better I promise.it can only go uphill now for you.Keep posting. you are loved.
Love Venora

[countrygrl1217]

hi my friend i know you are having a hard time but dont give up on yourself because of a guy there are more guys out there and probally a better one for you i had these kinda feelings myself a few years ago i didnt want to live anymore i thought i was all alone in this big world but you are not alone god is with you at all times and if you would call apon his name and ask for help he will give it too you i know.i was antidepressiants and i had to go completly off of them because they were causing me to have liver problems and by the grace of god i am getting through it without the meds..god can heal your mind body and sprit i am living prof of that if you need some one to talk to daily i will give you one of my email addy;s if you would like.just let me know ok..you are one of gods children and he doesnt want you to hurt yourself please dont do that..there are all kinds of people here who love you too you are worth way more than you think way more..well i need to go for now but you will be in my thoughts and prayers..

                                   god bless you and keep you safe always

                                             sherry

[BS65]

I was just thinking about you yesterday wondering where you were and how you were doing. I haven't been able to be on here a lot lately but yesterday I was and today I am again.

You know something.....the problems you are having with your feelings for your ex boyfriend are kind of common. There are tons of women all over the world that have had problems getting over a lost love and even feel like dying because of it. I think this happens more often when we women are much younger like in our teens or early twenties but it can happen later too just as easy. The thing is you have to realize that you have a very good future before you if you can just get yourself past this bad spot. You are here talking to people and that is very good because we here who are talking back to you understand and won't judge you or make fun of you or look down on you for how you feel. Anyone that does is probably feeling just as bad as you or worse and need to bring you down lower to their level so they feel better by making you feel worse. Those people are selfish and you don't need to bother with that. And the family and friends that don't want to listen, well they may or may not be selfish but they probably are trying to block the stress out and can't listen anymore. Not because they don't care but because it is very stressful when a family member has a lot of things going on.

Anyway, my point is that you do have people who care, you do have the potential to have a very good and happy future, and you don't need put all your feelings into the hands of a boyfriend that has moved on with his life. Yes you still love him but unfortunately this is a common problem in the world of love and relationships. You will find someone that truly loves you for you and values you. But first you need to get yourself well and feel good inside. Try to find things to distract you from your pain, like things that you think are fun or a hobby or craft or school if you want to advance your education. Anything that will take the place of the focus you are right now putting on how bad you feel and the pain of missing your ex boyfriend.

And about the free clinic you went to, they didn't sound like much help so what I am wondering is if you can try to find some other kind of outreach program for low income people or state assistance if you have that there. It might not be called "state" assistance though if you don't live in the U.S. Unfortunately I have no idea how things work there so I am little help here. :-(

Anyway, please be good to yourself and try to look forward and not in the past and see if you can find some affordable assistance if at all possible.

Take care!

[icthings]

Hi :] it's been a looong time since I've posted anything but I guess it's time, this forum helped me a lot, I just wanted to say that my life is finally getting back on track, I've almost stopped cutting, I'm off pills, my depression is not all over but it's getting there ;]. my best friend and I rented an appartment and I got a job on a call center =D, I'm not sure but I might be going to study psychology the next year to spain, oh and yesterday was my birthday :D I felt special that a lot of people remembered my birthday. As for my love life, well that's still a mess but you can't win all i guess. I have still some problems that I don't know why they are there >..< I really did, I hope you remember me :)


-Alice

[icthings]

Oh god, this thing erased some things I wrote...well...it said   "I missed you venora, I really did :D" and then it said "I hope you still remember me :)" :[

[Venora Moonwind]

I remember you and I am glad to see your post.I am soooo happy you are doing better. thanks for the update. and happy birthday.Keep in touch.I am doing well myself.My thryoid med is finally working and I feel pretty good.
I am glad we were able to help you.
Love Venora