I have suffered from depression since the death of my daughter in 2007. I finally sought help in 2009. It just seems to get harder and harder and I have hit an all time low. I stopped working and I am on short term disability. I thought once the stress of work was gone I would feel like a new person.....WRONG! I am worse than I have ever been. I have been seeing my Psychiatrist monthly and my therapist weekly. I am currently taking 150 bupropion sr twice a day an 20 mg of fetzima along with generic xanax. My Therapist has recommended Intensive Outpatient Therapy. I am not too jazzed about going. Has anyone found this to be helpful? I feel like I am ready to just come off everything and see what happens because nothing seems to work. I never knew depression could become so mentally and physically debilitating. I would describe myself as "stuck in a bad place"
Welbutrin made me worse. It actually made me wired and couldn't sleep for five days not to mention paranoid. Talk to your doctor and see if he can put you on a different family of antidepressants. Its a trial and error. Some types work for some people and not for others. My doctor put me on celexa which I haven't had weird side effects except dry mouth and headaches but goes away after a week.
First, I'm SO sorry about the loss of your daughter. I cannot even imagine the pain you've gone through. Since you describe the onset of your depression occurring after her death, one would think that that was the major cause/trigger. Have you taken part in any grief counseling, or support groups for bereaved mothers? Do you feel you've "dealt" with the grieving effectively?
Depression treatment requires a lot of trial and error. I would recommend continuing to work with your doc and therapist, to find something that will maybe work better. I think getting back into the work force is also paramount. It's very common for people to withdraw and isolate themselves while they're depressed, and while you may not have liked going to work, it kept you engaged with others, kept you on a routine.
I say absolutely try the IOP, as well as look into any grief support resources, and try things like journaling, walking, etc. And, start working towards getting back into the workplace.
VERY best to you, please let us know how you're doing!
Tomorrow I am going for a neuro psych evaluation. I want to see how badly my ability to concentrate and focus are diminished. I see my med doc on May 6th and I will definitely talk to him about meds. The newest drug I am on, Fetzima has helped with the pain from fibro but has done nothing for the depression. The thing I am most concerned about is going for this partial hospital iop program. I will se my therapist, who strongly suggests this on Thursday. I don't have good memories of IOP programs. My daughter who I lost in 2007 was in a couple. One struggle at a time. Thank you for your insight. I think I will try a compromise and go to the shorter program 9-12 instead of jumping in to the 9-3 program. Structure is one of the reasons she is suggesting it!
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