Iam not sure whats wrong

I lost my Mom to Cancer in June,07 and tried to be strong for the family? But after 6 months and with the holidays iam feeling bad, Iam tired but cant sleep, i have some pains in my joints, I have very little appitite, but try and eat some, I love to deer hunt and find myself not wanting to go, Iam affraid to tell my wife because she may think iam just having the holiday blues? I no something not right, i think of Mom alot. I can cry at the sound of a song or a thought, i lie in bed and my mind wanders, and its hard to fall a sleep, even though iam dead tired. I see my family Doctor in Janurary, should i say somthing?

[Venora Moonwind]

yes say something to your doc but more importantly talk to you wife It sounds like you havent allowed yourself to grieving and that is what you need to do. talk to your wife about your mom and remember all the good things about her.Probably you need to go to grief counsleing as well.It is ok to grieve.I lost my dad 10 years ago and I still grieve for him. there is a hole inmy heart that will never be filled. this is why you cant sleep either . you need to release the grief you are holding in.Only then will you be able to rest. you are in my prayers. this takes time so take all the time you need but do talk it over with your wife. she is your best friend too and will wnat to help you thorugh
Love Venora

[uberadtx]

Venora is right.  Definately talk to your doctor.  I feel so sad for you.  You are burdened with soo much grief and I know all too well how that feels.  Grief is difficult to walk through because its such a strange thing.  Our society and sometimes our religion dictates the how and when of grief but its unrealistic.   Even Elizabeth Kubler-Ross tried to make sense of it but gave cautious warning that grief cycles over and over again no matter how much you want to change it.  For me, I started to celebrate my parent's life to help me get through tough days.  I did small things that made me happy in their honor.  Tell your wife that you miss your mother!! Thats important.  She might be missing her too and is afraid to tell you.  Just know that you are not suffering alone.  I grieve my parents at the unlikeliest of times and to this day still just like Venora said.  Its a horrible road to walk and it doesn't make complete sense but be comforted that we have been there and know that you will find peace in your heart.