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Intermittent symptoms

Is depression easy to know if you have it or not? I did something bad and feel guilty. I am stressing of getting caught and just basically worry about the consequences. Can depression stem from this after it takes it toll? Also if it can, does depression cause fatigue, weakness in body, mild fevers, and loss of appetite. All these are intermittent by the way. Some days I feel fine. Anyone have any insight on this?

Please help!
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Avatar universal
True depression is a chemical imbalance within the brain.  Now if you did something wrong and feel guilty then that is called a guilty conscience.  A conscience is a good thing because it usually prevents us from doing bad things.  If we decide anyways to do it our conscience will make us feel awful about what we have done.  The reason it is intermittent is because you are not always focused on the awful action you did.  However when the memory resurfaces the heavy weigh of depression will come back  Time will go by and the intensity should simmer down, but sometimes it does not.  Especially if we a in constant fear that we may get caught.

Talking to a psychologist honestly may be very beneficial for you.  It is stictly confidential and you WILL feel better.  However everytime we experience a traumatic evet even if self created we are left with emotional scars.  The longer you wait to heal your wound the bigger the scar.

It is for this reason that an ant-depressant in my opinion will do no good for you.

If it is at all possible find a way to right the wrong.  A psychologist will help you with this.  If you are not ready for that, then ask yourself if you have learned anything from this misadventure.  Our darkest moments can be the best chance to make changes for the better within ourselves.  We are human and tend to have many faults, you are not alone.  

Forgiveness, Honesty, Repentance are your friends

Guilt will punish you more than any person could.  Depression is a self created prison built by your own passed error and only YOU hold the key.

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Avatar universal
Hey all,

just wanted to give an update. Got a message saying all labs ok but wanted to reconfirm. Still haven't heard back from doc yet.

I also been sleeping better for the last 3 nights so far. Don't know what I'm doing different but I am very grateful. Would this be a sign that I am getting better? Or is my body just so tired that eventually it will allow me to sleep well for while but then revert back to insomnia?

Still been struggling with the eating however, today was a great day. I ate a decent amount of food at every meal. The different thing I did today was take a half dose of GNC Mega Man vitamin this morning after eating a banana. So today I felt like I had a lot of energy and felt pretty much normal the whole day. I am debating if I should continue taking the vitamin everyday as I don't want to get used to it and not be able to feel this way. I was taking for a while but stopped because it started to wear off on the energetic effects.

I had a question about exercise. Now I read that exercise is good for depression because it not only keeps your mind off of things but also releases endorphins into the brain which make you feel good. My question is, how long does this feel good feeling last? Is it only while you are exercising you feel good? Or can these endorphins make you feel good for a whole day?

Anyway, if you guys have the time, I would like to hear what all of you have to say about what I stated above. Thanks for reading.
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Avatar universal
also thanks for the other post on the panic attacks. That was very reassuring. I will continue working at it and I am grateful to have you guys with me on this. Or at least that is how I feel with this forum. I feel like I have a team of people with me on this. The support is a great feeling. Thank you to all of you.
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Avatar universal
thanks jjswartz1,

i will keep your post in mind but want to try the natural way first before taking meds. I tried taking Edluar one time only at half a dose. It did help me with my sleep a bit but I felt really bad the next day. I was having bad thoughts and my mood was horrible. I thought I was dieing. That morning I also had to eat all sugary foods because it was a breakfast event. I hear sugar is bad for depression or so I've read. Anyway, I don't know if its because of the sugar or the Edluar sleeping pill that made me feel that way but now I am terrified to take that sleeping pill or any other sleeping aids again. But if the natural way doesn't work then I will consider the meds. We shall see. I'm going to try not stress about it and see if I can get back on track. Thank you very much for your post though. I really appreciate the help.
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Avatar universal
this is great stuff thank you and I will keep all these steps in mind and try them. Thank you nursegirl6572.
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480448 tn?1426948538
Insomnia info...

While I don't always get the best night sleep...I've learned some tricks of the trade that sincerely do help.  Before turning to potent meds, I would advise you to exhaust all other methods, including the more natural or OTC remedies (which, you should also limit as much as possible, because rebound insomnia will occur with those too, after enough regular use).

Here are some tips to help with your sleep:

1.  Avoid any and all stimulants (caffeine, nicotine, energy drinks, etc) as much as possible, especially within 4+ hours of bedtime.

2.  Exercise is a great way to induce sleep, as it releases natural endorphins.  Even a brisk evening walk will help.  Your exercise should be an hour or more before your bedtime..you don't want to exercise right before bed.

3.  Try to avoid eating a heavy meal close to bedtime.  If you're hungry, stick to a light snack an hour or more before bed.  Avoid ALL fluids 3 (or more if you can) hours before bed.  Nothing worse than finally getting to bed and have mother nature wake you up!

4.  Stick to a consistent bedtime and a consistent bedtime routine.  Even on days when you don't FEEL tired at your bedtime, try to stick to your routine...that conditions your body and brain.  Pick a reasonable time.  If you work 3-11:30 and get home at 12, a reasonable time isn't 12:30, as you would need time to unwind after getting home.

5.  Create an environment conducive to sleep and relaxation.  Your bedroom and bed should be an inviting place that you look forward to retiring to.  Keep the room clean and clutter free, keep dust levels down.  Keep your bedding washed with clean or fresh smelling scents.  Choose comfy, non-binding clean smelling PJs.  ALL of our 5 senses affect our mood, and also our sleep.  If you have a quiet room, but your sheets smell like feet (lol), that won't be very relaxing.  Keep the room DARK.  Keep weather in mind.  In the summer, you would only need a light sheet or blanket, in the winter, heavier blankets are necessary to keep you comfy.  Again, back to the senses...if you create a bed that keeps you too hot or too cold, that will interfere with your sleep.  Keep a glass or bottle of water at your bedside, in case you awaken with that dry mouth and need for a drink.  This way you don't have to get out of bed to get something to drink.  Light soothing music or white noise machines for LOW (not blaring) background noise can be helpful.  Try to avoid using TV as a background noise, as our brains are still working while asleep, and the things you hear from the TV could affect your anxiety levels and even dreams.  Basically, sleeping with sounds of "The Chainsaw Massacre" in the background won't lead to happy thoughts.  ;0)  A warm bath or shower is great before bed...dry your hair.  Never go to bed with wet hair.  NOT comfy!

6.  Ignore the urge to get out of bed.  Even when you're feeling frustrated, try to remain in bed, reposition yourself, adjust your sheets, read a book if you are not falling asleep, but the more up and down you do, the harder it is to get and stay asleep it is.  The same goes for nighttime awakening.  If you DO fall asleep and wake up in the middle of the night, ignore the urge to get out of bed...again, reposition yourself, adjust the sheets, and try to go back to sleep.  When you get up out of bed, you're waking yourself more.  If you stay lying in bed, you are not as awake.  If nature calls...go to the BR, and get right back to bed..no snacking, no smoke breaks (I'm bad at this...lol).  Those things are murder for sleep.  Get up...go potty, right back to bed.

7.  When you DO manage to finally start on a consistent routine, you'll find things that help and hurt your sleep.  Take note of them and adjust your regimen as needed.  Sleep patterns will change, and life happens, so sometimes, adjustments need to be made. Consistency is TRULY the key..I cannot stress that enough.

8.  Listen to your body.  For a while, while your sleep is lousy, you will feel tired at odd times of the day.  Your body is telling you it needs rest, so heed the wanring...take a nap.  Lie down on the sofa, and catch a 1 hour (or less) nap.  Don't nap for hours at a time, that will interfere with your nighttime sleep.  An hour is the perfect amount of time for a refresher.  Also, don't nap in bed.  Once you're conditioned, your bed should be for nighttime sleeping only.  

Hope these tips help some...I know these are the things I do that help me get some decent sleep.  It's not always foolproof, but it works pretty well.  Please be patient for a while too...until your anxiety starts resolving, you can expect some sleepless and restless nights.   If you are going days without any sleep, definitely see your doctor.  Sleep depivation is a whole other ballgame, it can be dangerous.

Best to you...sweet dreams!

Helpful - 0
480448 tn?1426948538
Panic attacks are only ONE presentation of anxiety.  You don't have to have panic attacks to have anxiety.  Anxiety is a constant worry, uneasiness, "what if" thinking, sometimes a feeling of impending doom can accompany severe anxiety as well.  Anxiety becomes a problem when the level of anxiety is out of proportion for the issue one is worried about...or when worry becomes a daily occurence, or affects one's ability to function normally.  When thoughts are consumed with worry about a certain issue, that's anxiety.

The insomnia is obviously directly related to this issue and the anxiety you are suffering.  Once you start addressing that, the sleep, and any other symptom that is related will improve.  

I'm not a big fan of sleep aids, either Rx'ed or OTC, as they can often make insomnia worse, causing rebound insomnia if a med is taken long enough (especially if a clear cause can be identified, as in your case).  Some times they are appropriate, but IMO, optimally they should only be taken here and there, not regularly, and not for extended periods of time when possible.  There are some conditions that wreak havoc on sleep, and when a person starts getting NO sleep, then of course, intervention with a med is an obvious option.

I would personally recommend getting yourself on track with some professionals to help you start dealing with this.  I wanted to share some tips with you about insomnia that I had posted before in another forum here (will post at the end of my reply).  

I just so happen to have a LONG standing history of insomnia.  I've learned through the years that some simple changes in our lives and bedtime rituals can make a huge difference in sleep.  Also, when a person is going through a particularly stressful time, it's important to hang onto the fact that it's NORMAL to see sleep affected by that stress.  Therefore, if you end up getting 3 or 4 hours of sleep a night versus your normal 8 or so...sure you'll feel tired for a while, but it won't harm you.  I'd rather see a person deal with the underlying issue and let the sleep return the natural way.  Try not to get hung up on how much sleep you're missing.  People will stress themselves out about THAT alone, which of course makes the insomnia worse, as they put unnecessary pressure on themselves.

I'm actually going to post the insomnia tips in a seperate reply box...otherwise the post will be too long....
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Avatar universal
For sleep trouble try valerien root extract,  Ask your pharmacist, it is a over the counter herbal supplement.  Usually near the vitamins ect section.  Ask your pharmacist if you are taking other meds before starting, but it doesn't really react with many meds when I asked.

If your sleep disturbances become more chronic trazodone 50mg can help, but you have to talk to your doctor and get a prescription.  Yes it is an anti-depressant but at this does it is an off label use as a sleep ais.  Many doctor prescribe it, because it is much safer than the benzodiazepine category of sedatives which cause addictiion.

I have used it off and on for years...sometimes stopping for months then taking it for weeks and no withdrawal problems.
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Avatar universal
Thank you nursegirl6572!

I browsed the anxiety forums a bit and people mention having panic attacks. I'm not sure I have those when the muscle weakness, fatigue, or loss of appetite happens. Maybe I am having a panic attack but it's not a bad one? Is it possible to have these symptoms without a panic attack? Seems like it comes on at random times.

Thanks
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480448 tn?1426948538
Yes, I'm really a nurse.  Have been for almost 20 years.

I'm glad my post helped you some.  Just work on distractions, and fight the urge to check yourself.  
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Avatar universal
One more thing I would like to add that is very trying for me at the moment is sleep. I can't seem to sleep well anymore. It gradually got worse. It started from being able to fall asleep no problem but not able to stay asleep through out the night, to not really falling asleep at all but it basically feels like I'm just laying in bed with my eyes closed the whole night and looking at the clock with every passing hour. I may fall in and out of sleep through out the night but it just basically feels like I'm laying there with my eyes closed. That's the best way I can explain it. I tried a sleeping pill but felt like crap the next day emotionally. I felt really depressed/anxious. Anyway, thank you very much for reading all my problems. You guys are truly awesome!
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Avatar universal
Thank you so much Nursegirl6572 for giving me such a great detailed reply. I hope this reply which you left, will help a lot of people going through the same thing. I actually have stopped checking my temperature about 5 days ago. The thing I haven't stopped is checking my body. Lymph nodes (which I can never tell anyway if its swollen or not), inside of my mouth and throat, my groin (which sometimes I feel some tingly/raw sensations) and I also notice my glans, tip of the urethra, and shaft sometimes gets a little red which freaks me out a bit. I do worry I have caught herpes too from the unprotected oral sex.

Anyway, what you say makes total sense. My goal is to follow exactly what you have stated above. To move on and put this behind me. Currently, my hardest battle is my appetite and muscle weakness. Sometimes I have a hard time eating and I get full faster than I used too. Sometimes after eating I feel a little nausea but am able to hold my food down. Then there are times when I can eat almost normal. Today I had one of my more weird situations while eating. I started eating and about half way into my meal, I wanted to stop because I felt full and slightly nauseated but I kept forcing myself to slowly eat more and eventually the feeling went away and I felt my appetite come back and was able to eat the rest of my meal and actually enjoy it. Weird. I also notice that, not always, but a lot of the time right after I finish eating, that's when the muscle weakness and fatigue kick in. Sometimes it happens even without eating but I notice that I can go a long time feeling normal and then once I eat it goes downhill. Anyway, to get past it, I sometimes ignore it and go do something physical, like take out the trash, or do constructive things around the house and it seems to help make it disappear.

So a good part of me starts to think this is a mental thing. Not physical. My doctor never really said so but I think he believes this to be a mental thing too but is just testing me again to give me reassurance and the fact that I brought up STD's have a incubation period and that the first test was not even at 4 weeks which most resources will state that STD tests are supposed to be done at 12 weeks.

I have to say your post was a great one and I felt much relief reading it. I always look forward to checking this site for replies such as yours. Gives me something to look forward to each day. Just out of curiosity, are you really a nurse? You sure sound like you could be. I will keep you posted on my status especially when I get back the results. If you have anything else you would like to add, please do. I am all ears. I want to thank you again. This has been much needed in my current situation. Right now, I am living one day at a time and I am just grateful for the days or even the times in a day when I feel almost normal. Thank you.

P.S. I will also try looking into the Anxiety forums as well.
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480448 tn?1426948538
Hello there!  

Sounds like you're dealing with guilt and regret more than anything, and honestly, probably more anxiety than depression.  That's just my take on it.  Especially the "checking" you're doing, with your temp, etc.  Those behaviors are more consistent with anxiety.  

For one, what you describe isn't a "fever".  You're describing some normal fluctuations that anyone would see if they took their temp frequently.  Body temp is always fluctuating, and different things can cause it to go up or down, that doesn't mean you have a fever.  Actually, high levels of anxiety will cause a temp to be elevated at times.

You have to reassure yourself and remind yourself of the difference between FEAR and FACT.  The fears are that you've caught an STD, are seeing symptoms of that, and that your partner will become infected because of your infidelity.  Guilt and regret will exacerbate those worries in a HUGE way.  The FACTS are, you've been tested, and are STD free.  The tests don't lie.  Don't get yourself caught in the "what if" trap.  That's when you start "what iffing" yourself into a frenzy.  "What IF the tests missed an STD?"...."What IF I have a rare strain that isn't showing up?"..."What IF I will be the ONLY person in history to get HIV from kissing"....those kinds of things.  That, again, is anxiety.

You did the right and responsible thing going to the doctor for STD testing.  To be honest, the encounter you describe is extremely low risk for any STD, zero risk for HIV.  You don't require anymore testing for your encounter, and actually, continuing to test will  end up increasing your anxiety in the long run.  It becomes a cycle of seeking reassurance, feeling relief for a short time once you get the test results, only to have the anxiety return, a lot of times, worse than before....which will cause you to feel you need to seek reassurance again.  Testing isn't the answer here, seeking professional help IS if you cannot shake the way you're feeling.  If you continue to find yourself taking your temp, overanalyzing any physical symptom, "what iffing", searching the internet obsessively, then it's time to seek some help.

What's done is done...you did something you regret, you're human, it happens.  It's important that you own your behavior, and use the emotions of guilt and regret in a positive way...to learn from your mistakes...not as a way to punish yourself and end up creating a situation where you WILL be depressed or have chronic anxiety.  It happens.  When anxiety is left unmanaged, it can cause chronic issues.  

The best thing you can do is try to move on...you need to put some effort into stopping the "checking"...both physically, and with any info seeking you're doing.  You should stop taking your temperature.  Again, the FACTS are that you've seen your doctor, been tested, and you're fine.  You no longer need to be overthinking the "symptoms" you're having.  Continuing to do those things will keep you stuck in this cycle.  Get yourself engaged in life, keep yourself busy.  Distraction will be your best friend in this situation.  The more you sit at home and ruminate, the worse you will feel...which will cause more symptoms of anxiety, which will make you think you're ill.  Anxiety causes VERY real physical symptoms.

If you make a concerted effort to stop what you've been doing and try to put this behind you, you probably will feel better within a few weeks.  If you find you either cannot stop yourself from the "checking" behavior, or if you remain overly focused on this, it's time to seek help.

Clinical depression presents very differently from what you're describing, like I said earlier, the kind of situation you're in more commonly results in anxiety issues.  The thing is, severe anxiety can often cause a secondary depression.  You're smart to be concerned, and you're wise to recognize that you're not handling this well.  The next step is in your hands.  

Just one last thing...more of a general comment for anyone reading this.  Many people don't realize that the "chemical imbalance" cause for depression is just a theory.  While professionals and scientists have made progress in studying mental illness, there is still so much that is not understood, and one of those things is a concrete answer on CAUSES for mental illness.  There are lots of theories, but that's all they are, they are not proven facts.

Also, I would never ever encourage you to lie to your doctor, for any reason ever.  That's a really bad idea.  I understand the rationale behind that recommendation, but that's just never a good idea.  If you find yourself lying to a doctor because you know that they are going to tell you you don't need an STD test but you want it anyway...that's only reinforcing the emotional/mental part of this that needs addressed, plus, you don't want incorrect information in your medical record.  I just felt it was important to mention that...if we're not honest with our doctors, we're putting them in a position where they can no longer appropriately treat us, as they don't have the correct info to make an assessment, and recommendations on how to proceed.  The last person we want at a disadvantage is our medical provider.

Very best to you.  Please check out our Anxiety forum as well...if you search that forum, you will find SO many people in these exact positions.  This is something we see very frequently.  Update us on how you're doing, okay?

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Avatar universal
Thank you Anneinside for the reply. It's people like you that have been giving me some relief. Thanks again for reading my posts.
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Avatar universal
Thanks so much jjswartz_1,

I have actually seen my doctor already and I took the first test a couple of days short of 4 weeks from exposure which came back all negative. However, my symptoms come and go still and so I went back and have just taken a second blood and urine test yesterday which would put me at about one day shy of 8 weeks from possible exposure. The possible exposure is unprotected oral sex (her giving me oral sex as I did not give her) and protected vaginal intercourse. No kissing was involved either.

My partner is aware of my symptoms and does know I am taking these tests to find out whats wrong with me. I am worried about having sex with my partner because yes, I do not want her to get anything from me from my stupid mistake. However, part of the reason I went out and did this is because we do not have sex anymore. So at the moment, I am actually glad about that until this is solved. Her knowledge is just that the doctor is doing every kind of test to rule out everything.

I feel horrible about all this and the lying. Thing is I know I have learned my lesson and feel that her knowing about this would do more harm to her than good and I feel she does not deserve that. I need to go about this on my own which is extremely hard because some days I actually feel like I'm dieing since I have no clue what is wrong with me. My mind has been pushed to the limits of insanity. I totally agree with you that searching online can make it worse and drive you mad. It fuels my depression if that's what I even have. I have suicidal thoughts sometimes but am able to come back from it. I just want all of this to end soon so I can move on with my life.

I just want to say thanks for all the info you provided and that I will do my best to hang in there. Your replies have made me feel a slight peace of mind and right now, that is priceless. I owe you big time. Thank you very much.
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Avatar universal
Go to the doctors and say that you had unprotected sex and that you want STD tests.  Let him know your pysical symptoms also and tell him that this is causing you alot of psychological stress.  Let the doc know that you must have the full panel of STD tests done because you had sex with somebody other than your partner, and that you do not want to give anything to your partner because of your mistake.

I hate telling you to lie.....but until you have the STD test just tell your partner that you think you might have a bladder infection or something because you feel awful and it burns when you pee of something and that you don't feel like having sex until the bladder infection clears up.

I'm just saying this incase you are worried about having sex because of your mistake.

These panels are great for moral support but even a doctor online cannot and should not give you any diagnosis, without a actual pysical examination and tests.  There are so many diseases that have similar symptoms that you will drive yourself mad searching (google) for what it possibly can be.

I mean what your symptoms are can sound like anything from depression to the beginning of mononucleosis ( which I doubt it is because you would have swollen glands in your neck).  

I simple Complete Blood Cell Count ( CBC ) can measure all your white blood cells and let you know if you are fighting an infection and other information.



Seriously....go see the doctor and you will finally have a little peace of mind.  
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Avatar universal
Again, the only way you will find out if you are depressed, if you don't already know, is to see a physician. That is the same answer I would give you about suspecting an STD. No one on an online support group can tell you if you have an STD. See a physician.
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Avatar universal
I have been feeling weak, tired, loss of appetite, and maybe having mild fevers for the last 8 weeks off and on. Seems like the mild fevers, if any, happen a little less but the weakness and loss of appetite is starting to get to me. My arms and legs feel like jello. Sometimes it feels like my arms are shaky too. Because of all this I have a hard time concentrating sometimes. What could this be? Again the mild fevers are questionable. When I do show a mild fever it ranges usually from 99.0 - 99.6 and at that very moment if I take my temperature with an oral thermometer, it will never go past 98s. Usually it will show 97 something mouth while having 99 something by ear. Any ideas what that means?
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Avatar universal
i guess my last question is, can this be an STD as well? thats another thing i have been stressing about more than anything and the repercussions of if it is an STD or not.
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Avatar universal
Stress and anxiety can certainly trigger depression, guilt and fear of getting caught will cause this. Feeling like a bad person can grow legs if you know what I mean, you can end up believing you are one, which is very unhealthy. Infidelity, violence, meanness, theft etc are not necessarily indicative that a person is bad, this kind of thing can happen to good people- guilt is generally a good sign if you do something wrong, even if it is a horrible feeling. If you have changed your lifestyle ie you have reduced activity through a loss of motivation then fatigue, weakness etc could be entirely relative. Getting checked out by a professional is your best bet, even if it is your Doctor to begin with.
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Avatar universal
Hey jjswartz,

I gotta hand it to you. What you said made a lot of sense and I also want to say thank you so much to go into such great detail in giving me an answer. Not to say any of the other answers weren't great either. Thank you to everyone for replying. Made me feel a lot better.

Since you seem to be knowledgeable in the area I would like to re-post my original questions with a little more detail to see if there is any other things you can add to what you already said. If not, thank you anyway. You have been a great help and one of the better replies I have received on this forum. Here it goes:

I have been having intermittent symptoms for the last 8 weeks. These symptoms consist of fatigue, weakness, loss of appetite, and sometimes mild fever. The fever is questionable as I have been taking it by ear and mouth. Ear temp sometimes reaches temperatures of 99.6 but rarely and on the same occasion right after taking the ear temperature I will take it orally and the temp will be 97 something. So basically, by oral temp, I never have a fever. Only through the ear thermometer do I show a mild fever and even then, its only sometimes. Anyway, getting back to the other symptoms, I feel fatigued, weak, no energy, and a loss of appetite intermittently and some days I feel fine and normal. Is depression intermittent like this? Or is it more constant? Is it hard to tell if you have depression or not? I'm having trouble figuring this out because the only reason I feel like I'm depressed is because of these symptoms feel like they are bringing me down into depression not because I am depressed to begin with and then get the symptoms. Does that make sense? But I could be wrong. Can anyone explain this to me?

I would also like to add that I feel extremely guilty for something I did (infidelity) and was stressing about it for a while when these symptoms began about 2 months ago. Can depression stem from guilt, anxiety, and stress? Any help is much appreciated. I feel horrible for what I did and have learned very much from this whole situation. I am just trying to get back on track and move forward. I really wish I could forget what I did and feel normal again. Please help. Thanks for reading.
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Avatar universal
If what you are describing is based off of this particular experience and has not been a constant source of trouble for you for a long while, it sounds like situational depression. That is not the same as clinical depression. I have never hear of fevers being related to depression, though. Try to address your feelings and the cause of the guilt in order to help the situation.
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Avatar universal
That doesn't sound, from your circumstances or some of the symptoms, to be depression. Perhaps you need to see your regular doctor.
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