My name is h*g*es, i'm 18 years old and been smoking weed for 2years..
I always feel awkward when i smoke as if everyone is staring at me.. but yet i always get high when im by myself...
i dont have fun smoking while everyone else does.. i just smoke it to make me not think about anything that went wrong.. i noticed that about a year ago.. i started feeling out of place.. i was always the cool guy who just walks in a room and automatically owns it.. but for a year now i haven't had a girlfriend.. i feel as if that whole year was just 1 day.. i always feel down on myself, i mean; i know im depressed but i dont know whether it's due to me smoking.. but anyways.. this is how it all started.. the very first dude that i smoked with.. is currently my best friend.. but when i first started smoking, i would always feel guilty, like i shouldn't.. but i used to be fine. I was in high school everything, socially, was great. about a few months later i picked up cigarettes, even though i used to have one once i a while but was never addicted. then a year later, i started to feel awkward in front of my friends when i'm high.. like they are all starring at me, like my accent is more recognizable. So i started smoking with someone else, someone that i normally would not hang with, at that time i just started smoking way more. Before; i would, a lot of times, just pretend to be smoking when hanging out with my friends, but when i started smoking with that new guy. It was a total different ball game, i did not feel awkward so i was just smoking everyday. I started to drift away from anything social, just in my own zone at times. I started to lose a grip on being the cool guy that i used to be because when pple are trying to find out where different parties were during the week-end, i was at my loser friend home smoking my weed(which i could have done driving around with my true friends) but NOo, i would feel too awkward. WEEd has ****** up everything good in my life. I didnt graduate with my class because, i missed too many days of school. That's because i would have "The weed hangover" and stay in bed almost every morning. Because i was out late smoking weed ..again.. Now, im almost 19 and i cant get rid of it. You know how it keeps you locked in. When you dont smoke weed you're fine, you don't fiend as if it was crack, but you always eventually end up smoking. The way the way that weed keeps you addicted is because you don't think of it as something you absolutely need to quit such as cocaine.. but yet its slowly but gradually screwing up your life just like those drugs.. I mean have you ever been out and you just feel like you're not having fun, then you just leave, You smoke a bowl and then you're high. You don't care, you no longer think about it then just go home and stare at the TV dumbly. You see thats exactly how it gets you, you feel like you're not having fun because you are not trying to.. on the back of your mind you know that there is something else that you can be doing(which you love to), without having to be trying to fit in. While, that particular night that you went home, you could have probably meet a bunch of pple or a cute girl. On a daily basis this is what weed does to you. You can say, weed is no big deal, i'm not addicted to it, i can spend a whole month without smoking it unlike crack... but because its not a big deal, you eventually always end up smoking it, you always end up giving up on your social life to be with weed, and i think thats exactly how it makes you depressed ad i know that this is how it keeps you and me coming back eventually.
Its certainly not making things better. But you might have clinical depression as well. I would go to a rehab. group but also look into the idea of whether you started this was as a form of self medication. I would speak to a psychiatrist and see if as you stop smoking it whether the depression goes away and if not medication with talk therapy is very helpful on depression.
Pot is as addicting as any illegal mood altering drug. Long term use does the opposite effect than it does when you start. It will make you grumpy, depressed, unmotivated.
The usually reason why people get "chronic" is to self-medicate, due to depression or other mood disorders. I suggest you speak with your doctor, get into a in or outpatient ************** program, once you've cleaned up, you'll be able to figure out what is really going on. If you don't have a program like that, go to Narcotics Anon.
This has happened to my best friend, she used to be a lot of fun, but someone she met was chronic, and so she got hooked as well. My friend gets rude and aggressive now when she smokes. I've had to really distance myself from her. She doesnt' believe she's addicted, but can't go a month without it, let alone a week, without "jones-ing" and crabby. It has a direct affect on your brain. People tend to think because it's natural it's not addicting. Once your brain is totally clear of the chemicals, and you've gotten rid of your dependance, you'll see things a lot clearer. As well, if you want to stay clean, you realize you are going to have start hanging around healthy folks. I also suggest you check out the Addictions forum. There are a lot of people there that can relate much mor then here right now. Keep on posting and talking though, it's the first step right?
Hey, I'm not sure if this will help but I think I can definitely relate. I smoked weed for 3 years and recently decided to stop a few months ago....I realized that when I was high...it was just not fun for me anymore. With friends, I would just get really nervous and anxious and thoughts would just race through my head. A lot of the times my heart would start beating really fast and I just couldn't focus. When I first started out I didn't have those problems at all, but I just realized that weed wasn't for me anymore as much as I loved doing it...it wasn't good for me. However, there are times when I'll be with someone I'm really comfortable with and I'll take a few hits and see how I feel. I really can't handle my thoughts when I'm on it and that's what I discovered...
I haven't smoked for a few months straight and I am feeling soo much better about myself..I may do it as a spur of the moment sometimes cause I feel like i'll be fine, but i just end up getting all nervous and awkward again....i just feel better when im sober..
I personally dont think theres anything wrong with weed, I have nothing against the people who do it cause a lot of them are my good friends!! haha. but its just not for everyone and you have to see how it affects you and if it really is whats good for you....
Because medical marijuana is legal, it shouldn't be a problem. Plus, this is help to get away from the drug- not condone the use.
What made you initiate smoking weed? Are there other factors in your life that may be contributing? High school and the teen years are very stresssful in themselves. Sometimes around the high school age, the parents of hd kids may be having mid-life problems and home life may not be as pleasant as it should. Mayb eyou are having some depression and anxiety unrelated to the marijuana. Also, the marijuana may have played a role on the chemicals in your brain that regulate moods. I believe it's dopamine and it can level itself back out (usually) over time. Eat healthy and exercise. If needed, go see a psychiatrist, they deal with this stuff everyday and there are meds to help. Also, during the eval they may identify something that leads to a bigger underlying problem (mood disorder, disease, tumor...etc..) so it would be best to see a doctor.
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