Is she depressed or getting senile dementia?

[lottama]

My 77 year old mother fell and broke her hip the day after her mother passed away at 99 years.  They could not do surgery for the hip in her small town so they flew her to a large city.  Me and my 2 sisters came to be with her.  She was transferred to a rehabilitation/nursing home about 3 weeks ago.  She is NOT getting any better. In fact, now she is refusing to eat or even go to physical therapy.  She will not call for the nurses because she does not want to inconvenience them!  She has called me or my sister from the nursing home to come do things for her that the nurses are there to do.  

Grandma had senile dementia.  I am afraid that Mom either is getting it or suffering from depression.  I should know, because I went through a devastating depression and ended up on disability.  Some  of her symptoms could be both or even a side effect of taking pain meds  for the past month.  My sister and I are just about at the end of our rope.  Because she has refused to go to therapy she is now paying the 20% that Medicare does not cover for this expensive rehab.  And complaining all the way.  

Can you see how frustrating this is?   I just feel like crawling into bed and sleeping it away.  That is my old reaction......and it does not help me. I have my own depression and issues to deal with.  I have left my home and mental health support system to come here to help my sister who works at a very stressful job.  The stress is getting to me.  I ended up buying some M&Ms tonight to deal with it.  (I know.......bad choice, esp since I just lost about 15 pounds.)

What do you think?

[lottama]

Thank you all for the replies.  We have put mother on Wellbutrin which she took about 6 years ago to quit smoking.  She is better. I think some of her confusion was the pain meds.  She is not taking any pain meds now.  I can't say that her attitude is better.  She is still agitated and uncooperative.  It will take some time for the antidepressant to kick in.

I wish the memory problems were less but they aren't.  Her short term memory is very bad.  Plus she is quite upset about how my sister has been handling her finances but it is because she was so out of it when the bills were coming due and now she can't retain the memories.

We have taken her to a geriatric specialist..   He wants to focus on the physical things first.  I'm not sure he can do anything about the memory.  I suppose time will only tell.

[MMahon]

Pain medication can make one less lucid, depressed, and at times paranoid and confused.
Perhaps a doc can review her medication.   Was she on meds before this happened and have they been continued?  The hospital/nursing home enviornment can also contribute to the state she is in.  I know I went thru the same things.

[bbaggins]

It sounds like depression, both from the loss of her mother and the loss of independence from falling. She probably suddenly realized that she's getting older.

My dad (67) was in an auto-accident back in March, which he's still recovering from, and he also lost his two brothers in the past two years, so he's going through the same thing and gets depressed and defensive sometimes.

[ILADVOCATE]

Some aspects of it sound like dementia so she should be evaluated by a neurologist. They could also find out if when she fell there was an impact on her head and she had a TBI (generally they would rule this out). They could also determine if a further referral to a psychiatrist is needed as she could be experiencing depression as well. Any doctor who is a gerontologist should have a fuller understanding of these issues. It would be essential to determine if they are administering any medication to her now as sometimes in nursing homes antipsychotics are given to calm people down which is an inappropriate use. Also it would be worthwhile to find out if she would be eligible for a home attendant as living in the community is better for a person in general including their health. Also you or another family member should see what the conditions are like there when visitors are not around for her safety.