Aa
Aa
A
A
A
Close
Avatar universal

Is this depression, anxiety or ???

I asked this in anxiety but maybe it's more of a depression problem. I guess I don't really know...

So for some reason I've had a lot of weird thoughts or what seem like super random memories from over the years pop into my head today. None of these are repressed memories or anything like that, just random things like relationship/friendship  issues and volitile feelings I remember from way, way back and similar situations throughout the years. Makes me think I've been "messed up" since I was just a kid and it's probably a miracle I was able to function as long as I did. On the other hand, even though I've been in treatment more on than off for over two decades, makes me wonder if I would already be okay by now if I had earlier treatment.

I know I have bad depression and anxiety problems, as well as, bulimia for at least a decade itself. I've had different time periods of different forms of self harm. I've mostly been able to stop the more ritual type behaviors of self harm but continue to struggle with behaviors that really feel more like an unstoppable reflex.

I am 50 years old. I can remember having many of these same feelings and struggles since I was a child. What are the chances I will ever get better? Seriously?  I can find no reason to be optimistic. I don't feel like that's my depression as much as reality. Why don't I ever get much, much better for any real length of time? What is wrong with me?
2 Responses
Sort by: Helpful Oldest Newest
973741 tn?1342342773
Ah, sweetie.  You've worked hard these past couple of decades to overcome things, I can tell.  Hugs.  It's hard.  You know, I can't say for sure but would guess that you do have a chronic issue of both anxiety and depression.  People can have both.  I hope you are still receiving treatment for this.  As well as the bulimia.  How is that going?  Are you still in that cycle?  I'm so glad to read you are not cutting anymore.  That's dangerous.  There are a lot of resources for that if you need them.  Private and anonymous online help even.  

Anyway, a noisy brain is how I describe my anxiety.  It's not what everyone feels as each person is unique. But most of the time I want to turn the tape off of unwelcome thoughts and discussion going on in my head.  That's my form of anxiety.  But for you, it will be different.  There are patterns that are typical but that doesn't mean that other people will experience those typical patterns and can have anxiety and depression symptoms unique to themselves.  

So, update me if you can on what you do for treatment.  
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
It could be either or both, it can also be caused by withdrawal symptoms if you recently stopped a medication.
Helpful - 0
Have an Answer?

You are reading content posted in the Depression Community

Top Mood Disorders Answerers
Avatar universal
Arlington, VA
Learn About Top Answerers
Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
15 signs that it’s more than just the blues
Discover the common symptoms of and treatment options for depression.
We've got five strategies to foster happiness in your everyday life.
Don’t let the winter chill send your smile into deep hibernation. Try these 10 mood-boosting tips to get your happy back
A list of national and international resources and hotlines to help connect you to needed health and medical services.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.