no problem thats what people here are for! If writing it out seems to help then keep writing! writing has always helped me. I love to write because it takes me out of this world for awhile. Even if im not writing about my feelings.
Change isnt always good, but the important thing is to learn to grow stronger from it because you can, every day we grow stronger, smarter, and its our faults, our mistakes, the dark times in our life,and change that contributes to that. We can only get stronger. It takes strength in the mind to know that, we are all strong in our own ways, find your strength.
Thank you, after writing it all it made me think that I should see someone for help. I don't know if I could be bipolar because ill feel good for maybe on or two days in a period of maybe 6 months but those few days I definitely am more talkative and more energy and also I will get very hot and feel agitated. Ive thought about it being a brain tumor but I tell myself im just overreacting even though I think I would be happy if it was a tumor because in my mind it would be easier to just have a solid answer to my problems rather then have to go through therapy and feel like im weak and crazy (I know i shouldn't think that but i still do) and experiment with physiologists ill feel comfortable with and medication that may or may not help until im done waiting 6 or so months to really find out.
But thank you so much for commenting ive been thinking the exact same thoughts but never really believing it. I don't have the highest self esteem and confidence so I didn't know if it was just life problems or if there was something really wrong. This was a shortened version of what ive been feeling over the last 3 years but I have been trying to better my life but it does seem like I can only get so far until I get apathetic or sad and its just an unnecessary speed bump that sets me back. Honestly what opened my eyes was most of my friends said they didn't see a change in my personality even though I would adamantly express to them that I didn't feel like myself anymore, they said people change when they get older but this change I hated and wanted nothing to do with. Then an old friend that I used to be very close to before my change and I hadn't seen in awhile told me I was quiet and kept asking what was wrong but I couldnt bring myself to express to him what I was feeling for some reason. Thank you so much for taking time to listen to me just typing this out seems to help a little bit.
It sounds like it could be bipolar manic depression. it usually develops in the teen years to early adulthood. but you probably should see somebody and try sorting it out. you should not ignore it and just press on in life because later down the road things can get worse for you and i dont think you want that. sounds like your doing pretty good at making your life right now but you dont want that affected do you? Its important that you seek help because chances are it might not be a mood disorder..there are physical medical problems that can cause things like this as well..such as brain tumors. they can cause a person to have mood swings and anger problems.
I wish you the best of luck with this...and everyone on medhelp is here for you if your not up for doctors and all that right now