Lanna01

I have really really been getting depressed for a few months now. Reasons is because I think that I have hiv. I have been tested with the ora quick advance oral fluid test swab. My first exposure was unprotected sex with 3 guys one was fixed so I dont know how many others he had unprotected with the other guy was bisexual and both were injection drug users. the third one was a boyfriend of mine in the military. The other exposure which is from kissing I had a cut on my lip that might have been bleeding during the kiss and not sure if they were. The first exposure was 2 years ago and since then one the oral fluid test I have 2 negatives. As for the second kissing exposure the first test was at 5 weeks and the second was 98 days and like I said they were negative. Only took 2 tests all togather... Went to the doctor and they said that I needed a actual hiv blood test. So now Im really worried and very very depressed. I dont wanna live like this anymore it sucks. I get my results on friday im so depressed I cant function anymore. Scared my negatives will change to postive.

[CutiePattuti]

As impossible as life might seem right now, it will get better.

If you are positive it will take a lot of strength to deal with all of the emotions you are going to go through.  The one thing that is the worst in my opinion is the Guilt.  There is an unfair stigma attached to STDs and I hope that you are surrounded by people who are smart enough to know that this is not your fault.  It sounds like you took some risks in your life, but it isn’t anyone’s place to judge you.

Now Kissing isn’t generally a way to obtain HIV.  I think it takes literally buckets of saliva to have enough virus for there to be a serious threat.  Yes it is possible, but unlikely.  They say that if your mouth is bleeding or if you have an open cut your chances are increased… but you need to understand that they mean BLEEDING and OPEN cut.  You would remember, if say you got punched in the mouth and then made out with someone who was also punched in the mouth.

I would limit my worries to people that you have actually had unprotected sex with, and then go from there.
I am glad to hear that you are doing the responsible thing and trying to track down where you got it from, so that you can notify anyone else who is at risk.  That is a Brave thing.

I hope you can get some counseling threw this period of your life.  (Which isn’t over by the way.)

Take care.