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Living in Limbo
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Living in Limbo

Well before even asking my question I need to give a background. I have paranoia and anxiety, from being molested at the age of seven. I've struggled with this all my life (I am now 18 and a freshman in college). I am very fortunate and healthy for the most part, but I feel as though I can't get myself up in the morning. I have a terrible fear of an unfulfilled life. I was raised atheist, but am very open minded to the idea that we are more. I need hope, I need reason, I need help.

Anyway recently I have lost my appetite, I can't sleep, and I just find everyday life pointless. I keep thinking "Well when I die I'm not gonna remember this, why bother?" I see that it is unhealthy and I've turned to everyone I can for help, but I can't seem to find comfort. I am seeing a therapist, and I do have meds. However I can't shake this thought, I wouldn't say fear. Death is inevitable and I can except it, but I can't stop thinking about it. Please can someone give me a direction?
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you went through so much.  you are doing good seeing a therapist.  i cant imagine how you felt when you were a child.  i have been u  depresssion since i lost my family.  the ones that loved me no matter what.  my mommy dad and mu hubby.  i went into deep depression,  i cried all the time.  my niece came and lived with me after mom died she lived with me she had alzeimers. everyone else went on living like nothing else happened i dont get it.some depression makes you lose your appetite.  some make you gain weight.  my niece and i are on effexor.  that is the only one that works for either of us,  i know there are more.  but you have been through so much.  there is a god and he wod want you to live your life to the fullest, he has you here for a reason and you need to find out what that is.  it puts us through test to see how much stress we can handle.  you sound like a strong person. i know you were raised as an atheist but think  and if there is any way you feel there is something more to life.  talk to a preacher.  tell him  all you have been through.  then make up your mind i know god has all of us here for a reason.   god bless you.   sorry i talked about myself that was selfish of me.  mandy876    
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Thank you for your feedback, I have been through a lot in my life, but that is why I am unable to believe in a God. Not only was I raised on science and logic, but I remember praying to God to make the man go away when he would hurt me. That never happened, and I have troubles accepting that someone is watching over me. Unfortunately this also makes life hard and almost meaningless for me. My friend Dave committed suicide a year a go to almost to the day. I've begged for a sign that he was at peace, and have gotten nothing. I need hope, and hope is so hard to find...
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you have  been through so much.  i can understand why you have feelings like that toward god.   i nearly lost the belief.  but i have not had the horrible road that you have gone down.  i doubted god when he took my dad through a horrible death with cancer. then i got cancer but i lived why?  then my hubby died i went on but my mom got alzeimers  and i took care of her alone the rest of the family hid.  yes i feel like why does god do these things i have no one. no one that cares.  i wonder why i am still here where i  am unwanted.  but they return to me in my dreams and feel like there has to be something else they have to be safe somewhere. why would he let that happen to you?  life sometimes feels like this is hell. and maybe then we go to heaven.  i have to believe.  i hope you can find some peace in your life and maybe believe a little in god. mandy876
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Maybe I can one day, but it's hard. I have a constant mental battle with myself. I have chronic migraines ,and can not always trust what I see due to them. It's a struggle, and I than you for the kind words truly =]
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Dear Lakin ,
             Are you receiving any treatment for the migraine headaches?
I've yet to find someone that understands them who has never had them. For me during my life it has been the most horrific pain in the world. That alone can make you feel as bad as you feel sometimes.
      Accupuncture helped me with the number of migraines suffered. I stopped drinking, as that seemed to trigger them too. Plus I stopped eating tons of candy, that helped. I studied YOGA ,till I could do it on my own.
   I had a chiropractor that could make a migraine stop. He passed away of old age, & I haven't found anyone since- boo- Hoo.  Let's see, heating pad lessens severity. Dark room. Noise free.
     There are medications on the market. Imitrex is one, but you'll need a script from Dr.
     I'm glad to hear you have a therapist .
Some of my study's besides Christianity inc Mentalphysics. Sometimes this helps  a person see their purpose.  You really are here for a reason, you may just not know it yet. That's ok.  Thank you for your posts. Pamela
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i love your sign in name padre island on the coast is my most favorite place to go.  guess i will never go there again.  i have my memory.  so far.  i would like for you to be my friend i will send you an invite if you want to.  there is so much bottled up inside of me.  nothing helps my headaches.  they are worse at nights are when i am really sad or depressed.  i put cold clothes on my forehead and the back of my neck.  helps a little.  i was taking a pain pill and 2 tylenol by my great niece said not to take them together,  but they work.  now i dont know if she knows what she is talking about.  that is the daughter of the niece that lives with me.  i think they are moving back in soon.  here a 2 bedroom house.  the garage they had me make into a small bedroom.  i am stupid.  but i dont want to die alone. charlene
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