Loss of family

[missmeg]

A little over 6 months ago, my boyfriend lost his mother and his grandmother in a terrible car accident. Though, he appears fine, he has reoccuring nightmares about the accident, and often has panick attacks during his sleep. Because of his anxiety, it is really hard for him to fall asleep. He also has very severe thoughts of depression, loss of faith in God, and has grown alomost hatred to life. On the outside, he is sweet, caring, funny, and an all around amazing person. BUT, when he sips a little too much alcohol, or is having a bad day, his feelings come up like word vommit. I caught him hitting himself in his sleep last night, and he was crying, but seemed like he was still asleep. He could talk, but had no control over what he was saying or doing. He refuses to go onto medication or to see a doctor. In fact, he often critisizes me over taking my anti-depressant.

Does anyone have any idea how I can help him?

[Venora Moonwind]

  fist of all I am so sorry for you boyfriends loss. It is difficult anytime to lose loved ones so close together but to lose them in an accident like that has to be the most difficult.
Do you think he could be persuaded to seek grief counseling? I suspect he stuffing most of his feelings down about what has happened. Men tend to to this alot and not talk about their feeling the way we women do. So as a result of this stuffing emotions and not acknowledging his grief ,anger and guilt that he feels they ar manifesting in his dreams and anxiety.
I lost my grandmother and Father within 2 months of each other and it has been verrry difficult even now 11 years later.to deal with it. I had lots of help with therapy and now I have come to terms with their deaths ,particularily my Fathers because I was so angry with him for not taking better care of himself  and dieing so young.
There are grief counselors He probably doesnt need meds or a doc He just needs to be able to express his feeling about the traumaticway he has lost his Mther and Grandmother
May the heavens bless you  I will keep your boyfriend and you in my prayers. Let me know how things work out.
Love Venora