Mentally broken

[lozzbra374]

have extreme deppresion and anxiety. I am 16 and no matter what I seem to do, I always am stuffing things up. I cut my wrists and my thighs alot and now they are getting to hard to try and hide. I have to see a therapist and take medication. I have tried to commit more than once but never seemed to fully go through with it. I seem to be, not strong enough to stay but not strong enough to go. What can I do because my therapist isnt helping and the torment keeps going. I only moved schools at the start of this year to get away form it all, yet it still seems to go on. I am on the edge of doing something really stupid and that I cant take back but I dont want to. My mind takes over my whole body without even realiseing it. I am mentally unstable and cant seem to cope with anything I do. I sit there at night and I make myself throw up because I hate myself. I sit there and hurt myself because I hate who I am. I want everything to just go away and change for the better but I dont think my mind will let me. It is like it just takes over and without even realising that I am doing things until after the are done. Someone please help me :'(  

[lozzbra374]

I am taking anti deppresants and they make it worse for someone with bi polar and thats what my doctor thinks I might be now, so.. It might eb the answer to all of it.

[Kelz72312]

Also talk to your parents and see if try would home school you if you think that would help.

[Kelz72312]

I suffer. From the same thing here's what I want you to do if you will idk I you drink tea or hot chocolate or hot coco but I want u to warm up so tea not too hot but not too cold or make some hot chocolate or coco and walk outside go for. Walk and walk for 1-2 hours Idc if u get tired keep walking it gets all the stress off your mind another thing is what so you like to do for fun besides you cutting your wrist and everything ? Aka hanging with friends ? Family? Boyfriend/girlfriend do any one those just make sure you don't get around a person that will make y mad or anything like that. And just have fun of none of those work please let me know thanks
Kelly(:

[LeeshaLovesLee]

I know how your feeling im nearly 16 and have bad depression too, im here if you want to chat about anything because i know what its like, your worth more than you think you are, your pic is beautiful. There will be ways to deal with it and get stronger okay :) message me anytime if you ever want to x

[Anneinside]

Cutting is addictive. I consider myself an ex-cutter and then something stressful will happen and I will think about cutting (although I don't), just like an alcoholic thinks of drinking. Cutting releases endorphins which temporarily relieve psychological pain, although you do end up with physical pain. I "discovered" cutting when I tried to suicide using a syringe. I couldn't get it in the blood vessel so I cut into my arm to get to it..... and I felt better! A few days later I did it again, and soon I was doing it every day and had developed rituals around it. That's my story.  

Now, what can you do to stop? Many people put a rubber band around their wrist and snap it when they have the urge. Other people who need to see  blood mark on their body with red magic marker.  Another intervention is to hold ice on your body where you would cut until it is uncomfortable. I hope you are able to get this under control.

[lydiafan]

What kind of medication are you taking? Because if you are taking antidepressents, you might want to ask your doctor to lower the dose a little. Have you heard that antidepressents can make teens and young adults feel suicidal? Maybe if you take the lowest does that works, you will feel better. If you dont want to talk to your parents, then talk to your doctor in private about your dosage adjustment.

[lozzbra374]

I dont think I am for a second.
I love/hate the feeling when I cut. It is not a good feeling yet it relaxes me. I have had an awful past few days and none of it is getting any better. I dont like talking to my parents because I am too scared to tell them half the things I have been doing. I told them alittle while ago so they made me move schools, which I did but it still goes on. Torment goes on everything. Everyday. I dont know what to do anymore. I have to see these people at school every day of my life and I dont know how I am supposed to cope seeing them.

[jordirossman0928]

U are so beautiful! The cutting is a release mechanism to try and get some kind of high off the feeling. Do you have certain situations or incidents that haunt you to this day? Like say a death in the family or a really bad relationship with someone? I'm assuming you talk to your parents about this? Are they supportive and remind you that their lives would be nothing without you? I have a five yeal and I cannot imagine hearing her say what you have said. Be strong, you are so beautiful.

[Life360_Dave]

You say you hate yourself and hate who you are but you help others. Maybe the reason you are helping others is to get something  back in return. Maybe not consiously and now you are feeling let down or betrayed.

[RainLover71]

Always put yourself first--it's a dog eat dog world we live in.

[lozzbra374]

Thats my problem though. I have been helping others all my life and I have not once put myself before another and my therapist says I need to start thinking about trying to make sure im happy before I try to help others not the other way around, which I have been doing for the last 16 years. So I really dont know what I should be doing because if I put myself first I feel selfish and bad, but if I dont. I worry about others problems and try to help them before myself.

[Life360_Dave]

I think you are too focused on your self. You were not put on this earth alone for a reason. You where put on this earth to share what you have with others. To be an inspiration to those less well off. Life is not about the individual but about the whole to make this a better place to live. you are one of Gods soldiers and you must fight not only for yourself but for all creation, Get to work and find some way to make a change.

[lozzbra374]

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