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Miscarriage
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Miscarriage

I had a miscarriage about a moth ago, only a week after finding out I was pregnant.  The thing is, my boyfriend and I are hardly able to take care of ourselves, let alone a child, and we don't really have parental support on this.  We ended up making the really hard decision to have an abortion; we hadn't just been having a bunch of unprotected sex, not caring about the consequences- I had been on b/c and we always used condoms.  We don't have any medical insurance so we were trying to figure out where to get the money to do this as early on as possible, and then I miscarried.  I saw the baby floating in the toilet, it was horrible.  It was a lot older than I thought it was- I had had what I thought was a period only 2 months before, but apparently I was 4 1/2  months pregnant.  (My b/c gives me a period every 4 months or so, it didn't seem unusual to not have one before all this.)  Now all I see when I close my eyes is that little dead baby.  I can't eat, I make excuses to not go to work constantly, I don't know what to do.  Am I even allowed to be depressed when I was going to kill the poor thing anyway?
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Of course you can be depressed, at least I know I would be!  That would be a horrible thing to go through!  I'm so sorry to hear!  I just found out yesterday that my baby's heartbeat had stopped at 9wks. and I was worried about seeing the remnants of baby if I decided to let my body miscarry naturally.  I can definitely relate in that way but your baby was obviously much older.  I think I would feel the same.  I hope you get some relief soon from your depression & don't blame yourself, these things happen for a reason.
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