Motivation not happening

[CRSeaside]

Motivation & the drive to get with life is what I am lacking. I'm on my meds for bipolar & sleep well. Eating good,taking vitamins , drinking plenty of water. There is an art studio on top of the hill, & I've been here 3 weeks & I'm unable to walk up there. My life is passing me by, while I stay in bed & isolate. When I find some inner strength to go outside I start getting panic attacks.  My Pdoc felt as if I was ready to come here(Costa Rica) I feel like I'm a huge disappointment to him & to myself. I'd appreciate feedback. Thank you. Pamela

[CRSeaside]

Hi! I made it. Got out of bed. Got upstairs to the new house/art studio for 1st time all year. Horay!  Your support really helped   Pamela

[CRSeaside]

Dear Keep Going, what a wonderful & inspiring post. Thank you so much. I remember another thing I read,do your best,you know when you are not doing your best. You know when you are not trying hard enough.  
   Your ideas are great. I think I'll write them down on 3x5 card & keep by my bed. Tomorrow I plan on going up the hill to the new Art Studio. I'm refusing in advance to allow myself to have a panic attack. I'll share my progress.
  Thank you for caring. Pamela

[keepgoing89]

Hey there. I, too, am dealing with depression. I have had a lot of time to think about it too. I am a totally positive thinker, but here lately I have turned into the most pessimistic person...I, too, have been isolating myself and pretty much doing nothing but watching TV and I always feel like I'm wasting my life when I do that. I'm always thinking I'm not doing enough in life, I always envision certain acts I want and should be doing but I never do them mainly because I am so nervous and anxious and don't believe in myself.

Pamela, what helps me is doing everything in my power to be positive and look at everything in a different light- EVERYTHING. If you feel like you're a huge disappointment then take some quiet time to think about it in a different way. I don't know your exact situation but here's an example of what you can tell yourself, " I'm a disappointment to my Pdoc, I'm depressed and lazy and do absolutely nothing and I hate it, but I know that depression is treatable and millions of people suffer from it and it's not at all a bad thing. The only way it will ever become a "bad" thing is if I let it control my life until I die. I KNOW I am capable of so much and I KNOW that I am NOT going to let depression stop that"

Also remember that we depressed people often want a quick fix for it. Much like many people want a quick fix to lose weight. When we do these quick fixes it never improves us and only hurts us more in the long run. Understand that we HAVE to push ourselves in order to beat our depression. If we don't do things we don't want to do then it will never go away. So we have to choose to do anything else besides being lazy. It will take awhile but that is how it should be. As long as we make SOME sort of change everyday, we are doing what we should to get over our depression. ANYTHING out of the norm, anything you are fearful of doing, anything will make a difference.

Good luck. Keep talking on this site, I found it to be extremely helpful myself.