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Moving forward leads me 5 steps backward instead
Its been almost 8 months since my boyfriend that i lived with and i broke up, we were both really unhappy...I thought i could change him from his addictions, but i couldn't force him to do something he didn't want to do, it frustrated me and i took it all to heart.  I was depressed and unhappy with life prior to him but he had made me feel like i was something but by the end of the relationship he made me feel like a complete outsider, he was never home and always made plans with other people even if we had made a plan to hang out.  he avoided me at all costs, i had pushed all my friends away because i just wanted to be with him all the time! Now i've regained many lost friendships and made many new ones, but i just feel so alone and miserable.  I'm in university in a program that i dont like and i've been very poor in it, i just failed a midterm quite badly, and just past another test, i have never failed a test before and i just can't handle failure...i've been trying to decide what i want to switch into now but everyone keeps pushing me to keep going but i do not want to do that the rest of my life...i'm so sick of school!  I can't seem to find anything that sparks any motivation or attention! i feel incapable of happiness, and my ex and i still talk and i've been explaining to him how unhappy i am, but all i want is to show him i can be happy, that i'm not just this depressed psycho girl he once new! everyone my entire life has placed limitations on me telling me thats to hard or that i won't be able to do that or thats not my thing...i've listened and now i don't know what i like who i am or where to turn...i do not want medication, and would perfer no councilling i've taking a councilling class and i know how it works ( so i dont think i'd be able to open up) i want to do this on my own and make myself happy, and be truly happy with being me and not feel like i need someones approval all the time!  Is there any suggestions on what i should do to figure out my life or any to get me on my way!! thank you for your time!!
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Moving forward leads me 5 steps backward instead
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