My mother is extremely unsupporitive towards my depression

[tacitasunflower]

I am a sixteen year old girl and I am pretty sure I've been depressed for approximately two years. I've been feeling hopeless, sad, worthless, numb, I have suffered from insomnia, changes in appetite and suicidal thoughts. During this period I have been to two therapies (I am not sure how to call therm but they were pretty much weekly meeting with a psychologist without any medication or help from psychiatrist). Each lasted a few weeks and ended up after the psychologist advised my parents to take me to a phychiatrist. My mother will NEVER do that. Since I started feeling this way my mother has been extremely unsupportive towards me. She actually makes me feel even worse every time I try to talk to her about it. For example when a few months ago for the first time I told her that I wanted to die (which unfortunately is true up to this day) she told me that I am self-obsessed and selfish. She literally thinks that I have made up my sadness or that I am doing all of this for attention. I have lost hope that she could ever help me. She makes me feel that I am not worthy of help or love. God. This month is especially hard for me because I have A LOT of homework and tests due next week. And at the same time I feel terrible and I am unable to study. At least we have winter holiday(which end in 3 days) and I can spend all days at home. And lately I have become VERY suicidal. My friend advises me to go to the school counselor and I am afraid of doing this. I honestly have no idea what to do. I was thinking about calling a helpline for teenagers. Unfortunately, in my city to start any private therapy I need to go to the psychologist with my parents. Right now my mother is at work and I started to think about trying to talk to her and asking to take me to a psychologist but I am afraid of her reaction. Please tell me what you I should do. Thank you for your advice :)

[Thinking_out_loud]

As much as it would help if your mum was supporting you through this hard time in your life and I agree with the others about showing her what you have wrote down but you know what your dealing with and if your mum can't understand that then use others that will support you because constantly having your feelings belittled will only make things worse, anyone that doesn't understand what your going through, who cares about them, focus on yourself.
Depression can be very difficult and confusing time but keep fighting because it does get better.
Try writing in a diary every day, I have been told that is a type of self therapy that might give you a small relief.
You're awesome, keep telling yourself you're awesome and if negative thoughts happen just say no I'm awesome.
Hope this helps, first time writing on sites like this

[KatRoslyn]

I agree with Paxiled, perhaps showing your mother that you're reaching out in this way will indicate to her that you truly are in dire need of help. I am immensely sorry that you are going through all of this; I suffered greatly from depression too as a teen, even to this day, though it mainly targets me during my menstrual cycle. I know how frustrating it can be, seeking for help and being dismissed due to the idea that it's all "a cry for attention." That is hardly ever the case; depression is real and it can be a major hindrance in life. My advice to you is to remember, you're not alone and while depression is SO difficult to overcome, always remember to take that first step, even though it is hard, try to stay positive while you and (I hope) your mother figure things out for you. I have experienced exactly what you described in my life, and I just want to let you know you WILL overcome this, don't believe the lie that your mind and emotions tell you. It may take time, but don't give up, hun. It is already wonderful that you took the step in reaching out, and that you want the help; because if you really weren't depressed as your mom believes, you wouldn't be seeking elsewhere, and individuals who claim they have depression when they really don't, normally don't make such an effort as you are. I wish you the best and I promise you, you're going to get through this as you already made the right decisions to start off. Take care, and most importantly, stay strong!

[Quinnty]

hey stay strong okay? im in almost the same situation. i understand.

[seeker99157]

Hi, you got of on the wrong foot on you r teen journey, you okay, your perfect just the way you are, alright, if your mom can't see you the way you are then its her problem, most of the time parents get so caught up on what they think we should be, the forget what its like to want to be.. your mom maybe over working stressed and in need of a bit of attention herself[ not on her side, hence she calls you selfish, unfortunately you can,t change your mom, you can' t make her understand, words just won'tyears you have been battling depression. woah, your stronger than you imagine, am 16, my moms really hard working, so when shes over stressed[ usually for like 3 weeks in every month]i remember all the good moments we had with her, helps but i just had to survive a month max[2 years] see counselors can't help you, cause they haven't felt your pain, you need to talk to someone who has, scratch your mom of the list[for know], if your asking yourself each time why you need to live, look for answers, read books like the secret magic, the secret, the secret to teen power, the power, the hero, meditate, the strenght that got you through 2 years of deprssion would get you a bit futher, and i actually understand, issues we have with my mom but i can't publish cause i respect her, cut out the sad music, exercise, socialising is pretty hard when depressed and its hard level so scratch for know, find your passion again, its hate me to see anyone like this  i felt thesame. but you can change. Email me if you want the ebooks or someone to talk to, someoen who won't pretend to understand. my emails ***@****. stay strong

[Paxiled]

Okay, here's the thing.  Show this post to your mother.  Maybe seeing it in print will have the required effect on her.  Generally, though, when a psychologist, if you believe the psychologists were good ones, tells you to see a psychiatrist, they have determined that your problem is so serious at the moment that you need medication to get you to a point where you'll be able to properly use the therapy.  But I'm wondering about the quality of the therapists you saw, because medication does not solve the problem -- when it works it tamps down the symptoms -- and so you would still benefit from therapy would probably need it if you ever wanted to get off medication.  Also, you're pretty young for medication, but again, if two psychologists told you to see a psychiatrist that's a pretty big indication that right now that might be what you need.  But you still need a good psychologist, and I'm not convinced the ones you've seen fit that definition because they ended your therapy -- that's the odd part.  Again, show this post to your Mom.

[tacitasunflower]

Thank you so much for your answer. In fact, it was my mother that ended those two therapies so abruptly, not the psychologists I had been meeting. I feel like she is the person that makes my problems much much worse every single day (she tends to make me feel extremely guilty for simply feeling sad, which paradoxically is not my choice, at the same time showing me how troubled and pitiable she is herself). But unfortunately until I turn 18 (1 year 11 months) I won't be able to get any psychologist's support without her consent (which she is extremely unlike to give at this moment). I do not think I have any family member or adult person I could ask for help, and I am afraid of talking about my experiences with any teacher or anyone like that. I am stuck in a very uncomfortable position, as my mental state makes it nearly impossible for me to do all of my schoolwork. Simultaneously, I am reluctant to contact the school councellor as I am aware he/she will have to undertake quick actions if I tell them about my suicidal thoughts. I am pretty sure I will never be able to make my mother realise  that my problem is actually serious. A few days ago I told my friends about my problems and they reacted truly wonderfully, giving me a lot of love and support. But I am painfully aware that they won't be able to solve my problem.

[Paxiled]

Only you can solve your problem.  Others can only provide support, but it helps a lot to have it.  Again, show your mother this post.