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My story of anhedonia and how I feel about it
I am having something far worse than depression in which I feel completely numb all the time 24/7 and can't experience any degree of pleasure whatsoever no matter what I do or how I think. This severe chronic anhedonia is something that remains there all the time everyday and is not getting better despite practically every type of medication, therapy, etc. and I'm not even sure it will get better and if there might be a strong possibility that it will never get better. This is how I feel about it and how much I value pleasure. What I'm about to say here is something you do not need to apply to yourself--this is just how I personally feel about myself and such:
Being alive is superior to being dead as long as you have pleasure. Therefore, since pleasure is emotional life, that makes it superior to being numb (emotionally dead) in which you have nothing more than mere thoughts and duty in life. Pleasure is the absolute and defining life force of "living" and a living thing that defines you as a living person and is what makes you a better and superior person (in comparison to yourself) because anyone would know just how good of a experience pleasure is and how much it makes life worth living and is the only thing to me that makes life worth living.
So even if you were a psychopath and killed many people, as long as you have all the pleasure in the world, that would make you a far better and superior person than if you were someone who is depressed and emotionally numb and helped and cared for other people. Again, this would only be in comparison to yourself and not comparing yourself to other people as there is no comparing yourself to others anyway.
Another convincing argument for the radical reasoning I just made above is that thoughts and such without pleasure are nothing more than any other part of the brain for biological functions (such as parts of the brain responsible for movement, breathing, etc.). But pleasure is your emotional well-being here and is the only thing that makes your life worth living and is the only thing that allows you to make the best of your life. So this is why I come to the conclusion that living your life through pleasure (even if you were a psychopath) would be the only best thing here (only for you though) in this situation as opposed to living your life feeling numb and depressed and helping others being nothing more than mere biological functions (thoughts and actions). It would be better for you as a person because you would, again, be nothing more than mere biological functioning without pleasure regardless of how much you chose to help others and regardless of how much these helped individuals look up to you and admire you. They would have a pleasurable sense of high value and worth towards you, but you will not even be allowed to have a pleasurable sense of value and worth towards yourself in helping others and in them admiring and looking up to you.
But, however, it would be better for other people if you chose not to be the psychopath and instead chose to be numb and depressed and help other people. So even if you did choose to become the lesser (nothing) person with nothing more than mere biological functions, you would be able to help other people suffering which is obviously a great thing.
As for trying to make the best of your life and helping others and such having no pleasure (being nothing more than biological functioning), I would unfortunately have to say good luck on that. You will soon find that you are nothing as a person without pleasure regardless of how much you help others, regardless of who you are as a person and what your attitude is in life, and no matter what you do in life. You would find that life is completely worthless. As a result, you would then go to drastic measures to try and get your pleasure back such as electric convulsive therapy and wishing that you would rather be in a hospital bed with cancer and many other horrible things to happen to you at the same time--as long as it meant having your pleasure back.
Also, as for people who give such "advice" such as: " I am 53 and have never had pleasure in my life, I am used to it," this is not the type of advice I need as I am an emotionally sensitive human being and not some robot who would be fine living a life without pleasure. Robots are fine living a life without pleasure because that's what they are--emotionally insensitive functioning machines. But I, on the other hand, am an emotionally sensitive human being who is not fine living a life without pleasure and will never be fine with such a thing because, again, I am a sensitive human being and will forever remain a sensitive human being.
In a way, people who give such "advice" are robots themselves because if they were truly a caring sensitive human being and truly cared for my emotional well-being (pleasure), they would instead offer me hope and comfort that I will once again experience pleasure instead of simply just giving the cold insensitive message of just getting used to it or that "Many people have problems that they have to deal with, so just deal and live with it."
To me, this is not just some personal opinion--it is a fact. No matter who you are and no matter what you do in life, that does not change the fact that you are nothing more than biological functioning if you did choose to become the depressed and numb person and help others. If I learned anything from this suffering, I have learned that without pleasure, you (including myself) are nothing and nothing more than biological functioning.
As for me being a sensitive human being, I am sensitive in the sense that I just wish to have my pleasure back, but I am a harsh and strict believer when it comes to hedonism.
Although you can consider me a sensitive human being when it comes to wanting to just have my pleasure back, you can consider me a sort of "drill instructor" when it comes to just how important pleasure is and that without it, you are nothing (nothing more than a maggot as a drill instructor would say regardless of who you are as a person and such if you were in the military). I guess, maybe, you can consider my arguments as a sort of encouragement to regain your ability to experience pleasure in life and to encourage you just how important pleasure (your emotional well-being) is. But if you can't regain your ability to experience pleasure (which is something I am thinking might happen to me), then you will forever be an inferior human being regardless of how much you did your best in life and such since, again, you would be nothing more than biological functions and that there is nothing in life (including making the best of your life and helping others) that will ever change that.
My arguments are also geared towards an audience who think that pleasure is not that important and that there are more important things in life that define your value as a human being. Again, I do not believe that there are such things because you would, again, still be nothing more than biological functioning without pleasure.
If I were to talk to someone about my inability to experience pleasure and this person were to just simply have little or no value towards my pleasure (emotional well-being) by saying something such as that life is not about pleasure and that there are more important things in life greater than your pleasure, these are opinions that I would absolutely hate which is another reason I have presented my arguments here for pleasure in the event that there are such people so I can at least try to convince them otherwise.
Being alive is superior to being dead as long as you have pleasure. Therefore, since pleasure is emotional life, that makes it superior to being numb (emotionally dead) in which you have nothing more than mere thoughts and duty in life. Pleasure is the absolute and defining life force of "living" and a living thing that defines you as a living person and is what makes you a better and superior person (in comparison to yourself) because anyone would know just how good of a experience pleasure is and how much it makes life worth living and is the only thing to me that makes life worth living.
So even if you were a psychopath and killed many people, as long as you have all the pleasure in the world, that would make you a far better and superior person than if you were someone who is depressed and emotionally numb and helped and cared for other people. Again, this would only be in comparison to yourself and not comparing yourself to other people as there is no comparing yourself to others anyway.
Another convincing argument for the radical reasoning I just made above is that thoughts and such without pleasure are nothing more than any other part of the brain for biological functions (such as parts of the brain responsible for movement, breathing, etc.). But pleasure is your emotional well-being here and is the only thing that makes your life worth living and is the only thing that allows you to make the best of your life. So this is why I come to the conclusion that living your life through pleasure (even if you were a psychopath) would be the only best thing here (only for you though) in this situation as opposed to living your life feeling numb and depressed and helping others being nothing more than mere biological functions (thoughts and actions). It would be better for you as a person because you would, again, be nothing more than mere biological functioning without pleasure regardless of how much you chose to help others and regardless of how much these helped individuals look up to you and admire you. They would have a pleasurable sense of high value and worth towards you, but you will not even be allowed to have a pleasurable sense of value and worth towards yourself in helping others and in them admiring and looking up to you.
But, however, it would be better for other people if you chose not to be the psychopath and instead chose to be numb and depressed and help other people. So even if you did choose to become the lesser (nothing) person with nothing more than mere biological functions, you would be able to help other people suffering which is obviously a great thing.
As for trying to make the best of your life and helping others and such having no pleasure (being nothing more than biological functioning), I would unfortunately have to say good luck on that. You will soon find that you are nothing as a person without pleasure regardless of how much you help others, regardless of who you are as a person and what your attitude is in life, and no matter what you do in life. You would find that life is completely worthless. As a result, you would then go to drastic measures to try and get your pleasure back such as electric convulsive therapy and wishing that you would rather be in a hospital bed with cancer and many other horrible things to happen to you at the same time--as long as it meant having your pleasure back.
Also, as for people who give such "advice" such as: " I am 53 and have never had pleasure in my life, I am used to it," this is not the type of advice I need as I am an emotionally sensitive human being and not some robot who would be fine living a life without pleasure. Robots are fine living a life without pleasure because that's what they are--emotionally insensitive functioning machines. But I, on the other hand, am an emotionally sensitive human being who is not fine living a life without pleasure and will never be fine with such a thing because, again, I am a sensitive human being and will forever remain a sensitive human being.
In a way, people who give such "advice" are robots themselves because if they were truly a caring sensitive human being and truly cared for my emotional well-being (pleasure), they would instead offer me hope and comfort that I will once again experience pleasure instead of simply just giving the cold insensitive message of just getting used to it or that "Many people have problems that they have to deal with, so just deal and live with it."
To me, this is not just some personal opinion--it is a fact. No matter who you are and no matter what you do in life, that does not change the fact that you are nothing more than biological functioning if you did choose to become the depressed and numb person and help others. If I learned anything from this suffering, I have learned that without pleasure, you (including myself) are nothing and nothing more than biological functioning.
As for me being a sensitive human being, I am sensitive in the sense that I just wish to have my pleasure back, but I am a harsh and strict believer when it comes to hedonism.
Although you can consider me a sensitive human being when it comes to wanting to just have my pleasure back, you can consider me a sort of "drill instructor" when it comes to just how important pleasure is and that without it, you are nothing (nothing more than a maggot as a drill instructor would say regardless of who you are as a person and such if you were in the military). I guess, maybe, you can consider my arguments as a sort of encouragement to regain your ability to experience pleasure in life and to encourage you just how important pleasure (your emotional well-being) is. But if you can't regain your ability to experience pleasure (which is something I am thinking might happen to me), then you will forever be an inferior human being regardless of how much you did your best in life and such since, again, you would be nothing more than biological functions and that there is nothing in life (including making the best of your life and helping others) that will ever change that.
My arguments are also geared towards an audience who think that pleasure is not that important and that there are more important things in life that define your value as a human being. Again, I do not believe that there are such things because you would, again, still be nothing more than biological functioning without pleasure.
If I were to talk to someone about my inability to experience pleasure and this person were to just simply have little or no value towards my pleasure (emotional well-being) by saying something such as that life is not about pleasure and that there are more important things in life greater than your pleasure, these are opinions that I would absolutely hate which is another reason I have presented my arguments here for pleasure in the event that there are such people so I can at least try to convince them otherwise.
I enjoyed reading your post. I can somehow relate. I am not completely without pleasure though because I still try hard to keep the hope, I believe things can get better.. I have been in a worse off place than I am now and I will not go back. I have hope things will get better even if its not today or next year even it will happen though. Some days are better than others, somedays I lose hope and have the worst days but I will always regain my hopes of pleasures and happiness in life, because I choose too. I choose to not let it get the best of me and still want to experience life and find things I love in this world, even though my life has been rough. I don't want it to be over yet and I want to and look forward to being happy again ;) If you ever need someone I am here for you!
How do you know these other people are happy? Psychopaths, by the way, are by definition not happy, they don't feel much at all. People have good times and bad, happy times and miserable times. Since you don't believe in God and do in biology, why not invest some time and learn something about it? In your belief system, humans are just animals, and animals operate on instinct, not a drive for happiness. They try to survive because that's what they do. Now, humans have a cerebrum, which gives us some extra complications, but biologically we're still survival seekers trying to find the best way to have our species adapt so it continues to exist. So either you believe in happiness, which means you're beyond biology, or you're just into biology, in which case you survive because that's what living creatures do. My own opinion is that you probably do derive pleasure in life -- certainly you love to argue this particular point to the point of exhaustion. That's pure pleasure. Why else would you do it? If you felt nothing, you wouldn't care if you won this argument or not. See, what we're trying to tell you over and over is that you're not posting logical stuff -- it's loaded with mutually contradictory information. Get some therapy, go to school, get a job -- do something with your time other than repeat this particular argument since it's just not logically consistent. Figure out what you actually feel and believe and then come back here and chat.
Have you seen a therapist yet?
I see you're still "stuck" on the same flawed ideas? That's a shame...you're only hurting yourself and keeping yourself stuck in the position you're in with your obsessive, unreasonable ideas on how life is supposed to be.
I see you're still "stuck" on the same flawed ideas? That's a shame...you're only hurting yourself and keeping yourself stuck in the position you're in with your obsessive, unreasonable ideas on how life is supposed to be.
Now what I just said about there being no comparison between you and other people, I want you to now totally disregard that because there is a comparison between people.
As for happy selfish people in life who think they are better than everyone else, their happiness is what makes them better than everyone else regardless of how selfish and cruel they are. Their happiness is what makes them better than people with no happiness since, as I just stated before, pleasure is the absolute defining life force of a human being and is the only thing that makes your life worth living and allows you to make the best of your life. This also goes for what I'm about to say below which is that regardless of who you are and such and regardless of how much you help others, you would still be nothing but an inferior biological functioning machine without pleasure which is what makes people who have all the pleasure in the world better and superior regardless of how cruel and such these people are.
Happy people are also better and superior since they at least get to die happy (and perhaps with even more happiness believing in a God and an afterlife of eternal joy). But people who who suffer with severe depression or anhedonia are inferior since they will likely die hopeless (and perhaps with even more hopelessness being atheists who don't believe in a God or an afterlife of eternal joy).
As for happy selfish people in life who think they are better than everyone else, their happiness is what makes them better than everyone else regardless of how selfish and cruel they are. Their happiness is what makes them better than people with no happiness since, as I just stated before, pleasure is the absolute defining life force of a human being and is the only thing that makes your life worth living and allows you to make the best of your life. This also goes for what I'm about to say below which is that regardless of who you are and such and regardless of how much you help others, you would still be nothing but an inferior biological functioning machine without pleasure which is what makes people who have all the pleasure in the world better and superior regardless of how cruel and such these people are.
Happy people are also better and superior since they at least get to die happy (and perhaps with even more happiness believing in a God and an afterlife of eternal joy). But people who who suffer with severe depression or anhedonia are inferior since they will likely die hopeless (and perhaps with even more hopelessness being atheists who don't believe in a God or an afterlife of eternal joy).
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