First of all thank you for serving our country. It sounds to me like you might have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I'm not sure where you live, but go to www.vetcenter.va.gov
they do free counseling for veterans and their families. Hope this helped you.
Well at frst I was just acting rough, I was holding her, and she was saying stuff she never really said to me before, and she was askin me to have her hard, and I hit her. I felt bad but when she asked me if I liked hitting her, and I told her yes, but I don't want to but now that I've done it, I want to. Any suggestions on who to call to get assistance
did it feel good because it was your wife? I think that because you feel good about doing it, you should really seek counselling for this. Your wife doesnt deserve that, I am wondering about how you said that she liked it at first until you hit her. What was she liking exactly? what is that you were doing?