I am starting a new job as a security officer next week and I must say I have been having really bad anxiety for a week now. I have had depression on and off for a good part of my life and I am afraid it will hurt my performance at this new job. I had a dead end job as a dishwasher before this and I just recently quit because I just couldn't take it anymore. Now I have some how got myself a decent paying job with benefits and I am already getting the jitters. The problem is I hate confrontation and as a security officer that is basically my job description. My stomach has been acting really strange and I have been oversleeping a lot. Also the job is a morning shift job and I am definitely a night owl. I tried zoloft recently and just felt like a zombie while I was on it. I know I need help but right now I can't afford it until my benefits kick in so I just feel really hopeless.
Even slight changes in lifestyle or relationships can throw people 'off'. Its scary! When someone has depression EVERYTHING gets magnified. You are projecting a lot of what might happen, could happen, will happen. This leads to self sabotage. Try to be proud of your accomplishment right now. It took a lot of courage to change and its not easy. Its fine to be nervous but do not let it paralyze you. Think about all the things that will change for the better now that you have a job. You might actually enjoy it!! Imagine that. Remember, the company is not going to expect you to know everything the first few weeks and I am sure they know about your lack of experience. Lean on your employer to guide you. Its not going to be easy but don't bog yourself down with what might be, focus on what is. I went through the same thing when I re-entered the work force. Take time for yourself during this transition even it means allowing yourself leeway after work to rest. Keep me posted.
I am having panic attacks, nausea, and regret taking a week off before I started the job because this week is basically a waste since I won't be able to enjoy it in my present condition. I appreciate your kind words and will keep you posted as best I can.
I am going through what you are right now, but instead of it being a good job, it is a dead end job and I hate it. I am not allowed to quit until I have another lined up. But I don't deserve to throw up before bed and before work and cry all the time just for minimum wage! Nobody is nice to me there, I have to work 3am to noon 4 days a week and go to college 3 days a week. I can't handle it, I can't it is not fair I hate it, I am so miserable.
oh you poor thing...when does your benefits kick in? im on paxil for severe anxiety which has saved my life. is there anyway you can get financial help from a family member or friend that understands that this is affecting the quality of your life? so you can see the doc and get perscription and then pay them back? oh i hope so. I know how it feels hun. its rough. im here for ya :)
know exactly how you feel. I am starting a new position on monday. I have been crying all week. I am having diarrhea. My insomnia has gotten worse. I am also OCD and can't use public restrooms. I am going to be away from my home 10+ hours w/o being able to use a restroom. I won't eat or drink before or during work. I have to take this job beacause I was laid off from a staffing agency last year and I have to take any job they have available or I will mess up UC benefits I receive and may receive. I am at my wits end. I will be working at a mail order pharmacy dealing with prescriptions when my main OCD obsession his contamination, hiv, and hep c contraction. I have been so depressed and having panic attacks. I have no health insurance, on no meds, and am not in therapy. I wish the best for both you and laughingman. I have just been trying to take deep breathes and say to myself, you can only take it one day at a time, one task at a time. Please keep us updated. You both are in my thoughts.
I am a career security business person, starting as an officer and worked my way up to branch manager with one of the world's largest security companies. I lost my job through depression. JUST REMEMBER that you can choose to deal with people as an officer without confrontation. Search and read up on "verbal judo" a method to get compliance from people while still being nice about it. It works. 90% of being an officer is being to work on time, which means ready to go at the start of your shift. The rest is just training and doing you job. You'll be OK.
Starting a new job is very stressful. I did security in a movie studio for awhile and dealt with people ok. With a guard card you just observe and report. I got a new job as a telemarketer/appointment setter recently and that can be challenging. I have deat with depression for years due to a difficult life. I had done the meds thing and it didn't help and they are very toxic. The drs discharged me and I'm relatively stable. I use tryptophan supplements or 5htp and I think it helps and it is a lot less toxic. You can't use them with psych drugs. Either or. I work full time and it can be stressful. I do have anxiety and crying spells. But it is not from the job but the changes I'm facing. Since I'm pretty stable social security may eventually cut me off if I'm able to work. I'm sick of living in mental health housing and want to move up. Spirituality helps me too. Good luck!
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