No social life at all anymore

[lukeduke2]

I use to have such a great social life. In high school and the first couple of years after I was always hanging out, having fun with my friends, life was great! I even had a girl friend but unfortuanely it wasn't the greatest relationship as we were both immature and we fought alot.

Anyway as the years went on, I started to lose touch with my friends. People moved, some got involved in partying(I drink on ocassion, but i'm not a partier), and others got in serious relationships

My girlfriend and I broke up, well actually she left me for a guy we had been hanging out with. I was mad and said stuff I shouldn't have but hey, when you are 21 and somethin like that happens, you get mad. lol

Anyway 4 years later I'm 25 and it's been a struggle the past couple of years. I lost my job so I'm starting over now with a new one. I have noticed I don't have much of a social life anymore. Alot of my friends have moved out of the area, some out of state, and alot of my friends have gotten married and are starting families. I sort of feel left out.

Even a guy i called my best friend my whole life has been drifting apart from me. He never contacts me anymore and is usually to busy to do anything with me. Sometimes I wanna ask him what the hell did I do but I don't wanna look desperate.

ANyway I know I'm still young and I could go out and make new friends but its hard to. Alot of people go to bars and to be honest that's not my scene at all. I also live in a small town so it's not like we have alot of activities. Alos, part of me is afraid to ask people if they would want to hang out because I'm afraid they may reject me

My co-workers are awesome but they are older than me and have families so hanging out isn't a option really

I don't know where I'm going with this but i just had to say it and if anyone has advice, I would appreciate it

Thanks

[Life360_Dave]

Why not take advantage of this down time and focus on being a financial success. Draw out your creative talents as being successful can be very attractive to others.

[brice1967]

I moved to a real small town 25 years ago.  I did the move for all of the right reasons.  I was leaving behind a drug habit and some people who didn't have my best interest at heart.  With that said, I also left behind some good friends.  The move was the start of a new life.

When I got here, I had 0 friends.  I knew maybe 4 people, but friends?  No dice.  Yeah it was intimidating at first, then it became a little ridiculous.  Rumor got out that the new guy in town (me) was in the mafia and he broke legs for a living.  (Not even close to the truth.... laughable, really.)

At first, I was a little up tight about the thing.  I kind of had a pity party.  "Nobody likes me..."  Then I realized that it was my job to find friends, if I wanted them.  The first person I befriended came straight up to me and asked, "Rumor has it that you're in the mob.  Are you?"  I laughed and said no.... he then said, "You want to shoot some pool?"  Today, even though we don't hang out, we are still friends.

As time goes by, people change.  Their 'situations" change.  It is our job to either change with or to find someone else to hang out with or something else to do.

I'd suggest spending time doing the things you like to do.  Sooner or later, you're bound to find someone else doing the same thing.  Catch them again doing the same thing and then they are kind of an acquaintance.  The 3rd time, strike up a conversation.

Most importantly, relax a little bit.  Do the things you like to do.  Associate a little more with the people at work that are cool.  Even though they have families, that doesn't mean that they don't want or need a good friend.  Building a friendship takes some time, if the friendship is meant to be anything. Marketing.... think of it as marketing yourself.  Meet people, be friendly, let them see what you can bring to the table.  Sooner or later, you'll have some people needing what you're offering.

Good friends are hard to come by, and even as time passes, and even though there may be miles between you, old friends are still friends.  Give them a call, see whats happening.

With my move, I did lose 1 real close friend.  The guy changed... he is not the kid I knew in school.  The guy is not reliable, he completely changed and it became obvious to me that he didn't value my friendship the way I valued his.  Of course it stung a little bit.  It always does when things don't pan out the way we'd like... but guess what?  I moved on.... his loss, not mine.  Besides, I don't need friends that are not reliable or dependable.  I have the ability to make new friends and I have what I consider "marketable attributes" that make me a good friend.  I am loyal, dependable, funny, and I know a little about a lot of things.  

Relax... Find your confidence and just let things happen.  They will... trust me.

[Aegle]

Hi,

When the Internet first came on the scene, back in the early 90s, I met many people through then, what was called Listservs sites, aka known more today as chat rooms.  Anyway, I met some really great people online and some eventually in person.  Probably the greatest friend I met, was a young guy "Roland" who was from Switzterland and traveled around the globe working, and staying in hostels where ever he went.  

Back then I was in my late 30s and he was about your age.  I always admired how Roland had a spirit that took him to many different places around the world.  Roland and I became like brother and sister, and he shared many of his adventures with me.  Through his experiences, I learned about different life cultures and I always considered him to be one of the best people put on this earth.

I tried traveling when I was in my early 20s, but I didn't get too far, and I had some terrifying moments (single young woman) in the beginning, but more importantly, I learned some great lessons about life and people.  Now when I think of Roland (he passed away in '98 from a brain tumor), I miss his friendly and loving spirit, and I wish I had the "get up and go" spirit to go around the world like he did.  He loved people and he loved life...

You just never know who's life you will bless, or who will bless you with his/her great love and friendship.  

There is so much to explore in this world, and people to meet and share life with...I believe there is good than evil...I hope your life will take you where your heart wants to go.