Not sure whats wrong with me

[jvergara52]

Hey im 19 and I have been having some really weird things happening to me. all of these things have been happening for as long as i can remember but lately it seems to have gotten a bit worse and i really would like some insight on what this could be. Basically i constantly have reoccurring thoughts it could be pretty much anything. Its usually thoughts of things being broken to the point where they cant be repaired or the repair would be way too expensive to afford.Its almost always something really small and seemingly unimportant that causes these thoughts. An example of a thought that i cant get to go away right now is that there is a small issue with one of my very expensive guitars that i bought used and the thoughts that basically go in a loop in my head are like "what if that could cause this to happen" or "what if this gets worse" "would i be able to afford to fix it if this happened". And basically that kind of thing happens with all sorts of things and they come and go. Those reoccurring thoughts may be gone next week but something else will come up almost instantly. The thoughts are in such a loop and they will go on throughout the day and even when im trying to fall asleep and they will keep me up. I also always feel very lazy for a lack of a better word i have a lot that i need to do and want to do but i feel like i physically cant do them because i feel so drained from thinking. With certain thoughts i can do things to make myself feel better about the thing that wrong like i can stare at something that i feel is broken and sometimes i can make myself feel content but later on in the day ill have to go back and look at it again to make sure its ok but then everything back to the way it was then i start to feel sick like im about to throw up and i also get hot and sweaty sometimes from this.

I know this is kind of all over the place and i apologize but basically what im trying to say is that these constant thoughts of things not being right are really just making it hard to live life. Im always feeling drained and just empty like no matter what im doing it could be the most exiting thing like be at a theme park or whatever but i cant enjoy it because im constantly being bogged down with thoughts.Now lately ive been really hard on myself thinking of how useless of a person i am because i cant get anything done. Its gotten to the point now where i have begun to have suicidal thoughts and i just dont know what to do.

If anyone could shed some light on what this might be or what could be causing it, would be much appreciated

[jvergara52]

Hmm i guess ill have to make an appointment to see a psychiatrist then, thank you for the response.

[persephonedemeter]

Sorry. My tablet is malfunctioning. I meant to say in the second  paragraph that the rumination and intrusive thoughts go away as you get better or with the examples of treatments I listed above. What works for you depends on you and your situation, by the way. It's not one size fits all when it comes to people's minds.

[persephonedemeter]

They are called ruminating and intrusive thoughts. They can happen in depression, anxiety disorders, other disorders, and drug use. It sounds like you need to see a psychiatrist to see what is going on and get an opinion, because they have that tailspin effect on you, since it drains, bogs you down, and makes it hard for you.

The good news is that when you get better, treatment whether it is medication, talk therapy, Cognitivee Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness, or combinations of treatments, it goes away.

For myself, I had really terrible ruminating thoughts when I was depressed all the time, varying in intensity from light to severe. I got better and they went away with treatment, and it involved every single treatment I mentioned as I learned more about it and dealt with them. I don't have them anymore, but there are rare occasions when I find myself getting really stressed out by a situation when I can see that I am starting to rumiinate but, I can stop it before it even happens without much effort. I have to say, It is such a relief when they are gone.