I am 16 and have been diagnosed with depression (but am currently not on any medication). For a couple of weeks now I have been acting... 'strange'. It started when I saw some scary things in the dark, like moving shadows, so I slept with the light on. Then when it came to the next night, I felt that I had to sleep with the light on again otherwise the spirits would get me. I knew this was irrational, and told myself to stop being so stupid and acting like a 5 year old, but again I saw the shadows and had to turn the light on again. When the next night came, I didn't even question having the light on and have had to have it on at night ever since - even though I know it is ridiculous. The next thing came about a week ago. I began to become paranoid about the people around me, and when my mum placed my dinner in front of me, I got this sudden thought that she had poisoned my food. Again, my rational mind was telling me that my mum would never hurt me, to stop being so stupid and eat your damn food! But the other part of me was telling me, how do you know that? Isn't rationality just being naive? And I couldn't eat the food. Since then I have prepared and cooked all my own food. The one that has got me concerned, is what happened yesterday. I got this thought that my family are all plotting against me and are trying to hurt me. Every time I was in a room with them I was so uncomfortable, thinking they were monitoring my every move, and so I hid away in my bed room and didn't talk to any of them. I slept with a knife under my bed last night. Now I am sitting here thinking, what on earth was I thinking?! My family would never hurt me... so why the hell was I doing that?
My question is, should I be concerned? I guess the thing I am most confused about is if I really was going 'crazy', surely I wouldn't know it and surely there wouldn't be that rational part of my brain still working? I am seeing my counsellor tomorrow... do you think I should mention all this? What might she say? Has anyone else had this with depression?
Yes it would be essential at this point to let the counselor you are seeing know about the thoughts you are having so they could see how to follow up at this point. Depression like other psychiatric disabilities can change in how it occurs over time but they would be able to tell you more once they can see what might be occuring. All of this is treatable and they will be able to help.
I'm 15 and I also have depression. I get extremely paranoid about things as well; particularly about the people around me. Talk to your counsellor about it; it will help them better understand what treatment to give you, and they'll help you understand what's going on. Don't worry too much. These things can be cured. :) xx
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