I was sexually abused as a child, gave birth to a disabled child when i was 19 and lost my mum when i was 8 months pregnant with my son. After i gave birth to my son i suffered from post natal depression and have suffered with depression for the last 15 years. I have a partner (3 years together) who doesn't understand why I am like I am where sex is concerned and he puts pressure on me. We have split up several times due to this and have just got back together again. He has recently been online and looked at websites for partners of sexual abuse victims and now says he understands why i'm like i am and that he is ashamed of his behaviuor in the past. He says he will change his behaviour but I don't think he can because of his paranoia (he smoked dope for 20 years). I think he is depressed and I can't cope with his depression as well as my own. I love him but he is driving me crazy with his mood swings and self pity. Everything is always about him and how he feels. i know I need to change my life because I am seriously depressed about how I live, not going out, sleeping alot, I don't enjoy my work and I struggle to maintain relationships with friends. My life is one big struggle and I desperately want to change but don't know how.
Thank you for your comments. I am currently waiting for an assessment by a psychotherapist for my problems. I have been on medication for the last 15 years and my partner was put on it by his doctor about three months ago; however, he didn't like the side effects so stopped taking it. I have spoken to him about going back to see his doctor but I get the feeling he won't for fear of being given more antidepressants. I will suggest separate counselling sessions and see what he says.
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