Personality Changes after Heart By-Pass Surger

My husband had a stroke about 6 years ago at 52 (which was mild) within the next two months he had a triple by-pass surgery, a pacemaker and defibulator inserted.  He had a hard time with the recooperation; not wanting to get out and do the required exercising (has always been into working out)  He was scared.  He finally got moving and everything had been fine physically since then.  We moved to a slower paced area and he works from home.  I have noticed a huge diffence in his personality since this surgery and I always attibute to something.  Stressful commuting (so we moved); travel for work (travel has cut back)  I've now run out of excuses for this change.  We went to a counselor who said he had the classic signs of depression and he was put on medication.  I saw a slight change but again I've run out of excuses and am at my wits end to try to figure if this change might have come from the heart issues and should have been addressed back then.  I know the doctors said that in the begnning this might be an issues (mortality, etc)  But this many years later?  Any similar stories and/or advice?  Not sure how much longer I can go on with this...

[MMahon]

I can relate perfectly to what you are stating about your husband.
4 years ago I 'dropped dead' (sudden death) at home.  The EMT's paddled me back to life and I spent 2 months in 3 different hospitals.  6 months later I spent 2 weeks in the hospital having my gallbladder removed and liver 'flushed out'.  Even thou I have no memory of most of the 2 months I was first in the hospital it impacted my life a great deal.
I had problems with anxiety and depression my whole life but this is very different.  It has been 4 years for me but in many ways it seems like just yesterday.  I still have health issues but so does your husband.  He has machines keeping his heart going correctly.  He must feel that he can go at any time.  Life takes on a whole different meaning once you have come close to 'meeting your maker'.   The things that kept you busy before or had meaning before no longer have the same importance.   Is it depression?  Perhaps.  Does it effect your loved ones?  No question!   But I and apparently your husband are no longer the same people.
For better or worse, our lives have taken on different  meanings.  Existence just isn't the same any more.   I always tell my wife that a part of me just didn't return and it's calling me to
reunite with it.  Is that crazy....well yes.  I keep expecting to return to the way I was but honestly I don't expect that I really will at this point.
I hope I didn't bum you out more but just thought I'd share my experience  How my wife tolerates me is hard to understand.  She accepts the way it is and for some odd reason is happy to just have me still here, even if that means she has to do virtually everything.   I'm a very lucky man and I'm sure your husband is too.  Take care.