Please give me some advice,

I do not know where to Start, I have seen alot of people in the past. I am 18 and have been seen differant people from the age of 10 I have had differant diagnoses the last one was Borderline Personality disorder and depression. I am really finding it hard to cope and I struggle speaking with someone face to face. I am not usually the type of person who will reach and out and try and find someone. I was in hospital 3 nights ago because I hurt myself and I lied to mental health because I was afraid of being away from my boyfriend if they admitted me. I have tried since to get help I am currently on seroquel and my Gp wants to add an anti depressant to the seroquel. I have tried contacting numerous people but no one seems to be available and I am struggling to find a female psychiatrist in this area. My gp told me I need to see someone and wrote me a referal to a male psychiatrist but I have a fear of talking to people face to face and when I see people I freeze up and can not talk. I have been so emotional lately I went a month without eating a single thing and could not stop crying. I also lost my nan recently and had a falling out with my father and am not able to talk to my mother or younger sibilings. I feel like I am dying and I can not stop thinking about being dead and resting. I feel so numb and emotional. I can not stop crying and I feel like I am caught in a cloud watching the world pass me by. I want help so badly I need someone to talk to I feel so alone but I do not know what to do I feel like I can not do this anymore like I only have one thing and I need to get away and sleep

[Hensley258]

Yea, that's Major depression - Maybe Bi-Polar 2 for sure. 19 years suffering myself. Since I was about your age.

IMO, yes you will need to add a good antidepressant to that Seroquel.
I'm not a big fan of Seroquel because of the harsh side effects and I find that a proper dosage of Lithium with a good antidepressant is much more effective.

Add to that Klonopin if you have anxiety that is also an issue.

As for getting lost for words when seeing your Psychiatrist, do what I do. Just write down all your symptoms and what you want to say prior to your visit. Trust me it works.

If it helps your self esteem any..... You happen to be beyond beautiful. Your Boyfriend is a very lucky man indeed.

Good luck.

[whodunnit]

Hi Nat,

What an absolutely horrible time you've been having. Seeing only a GP for the types of issues you describe is a very bad move as GP's do not have the depth of knowledge to deal with the deeper depressions etc.

The first thing you must do is go see a psychiatrist. And change if you do not get along. Give it about 3 sessions before you decide to change though as anyone is scary first time when you're still learning to talk about it.

I can assure you that male psychiatrists are often better simply because they are more experienced and have seen and dealt with more. Of course there are good female psychiatrists, but as you've found, thin on the ground.

As Hensley has said, by far the best way to stsrt is to write things down and give it to the psychiatrist when you get there. Sit and wait while he/she reads it and they will start the discussion.

What you've written here, for example, would be more than enough for a decent pdoc to make quite a good start.

I must tell you too that I was deadly shy until I was about 35, when my marriage broke up. At that stage I had never talked to anyone about feelings etc, bad feelings that is, and would rather have died than do so.

In the end it's not a choice Nat. It's either start talking to docs and pdocs and therapists or choose to continue suffering. Talking is the start of recoevery as it involves you admitting what you feel, a hard thing to do but it's the way back to life.

I see no evidence of bi polar in what you have written with the exception of the med Seroquel. If you are only taking Seroquel you certainly need another med, an anti depressant. Clearly the Gp you see does not know what they are doing or how to treat you so your hope is much improved by going to see a pdoc.

I sleep a lot too when I feel down, it's a way out but it causes long term sleep disorders which in turn contribute to lengthy depressive periods. Taking Seroquel too will certainly make you sleep more than you really need. I take it, a small dose, for one reason. To get to sleep at night.

If you feel like talking feel free to message me. Keep your details anonymous so you feel Ok if you do.

Lastly remember this. Most people on this forum will have felt like you do, afraid to talk, scared of pdocs and afraid of people. It is normal for the symptoms of depression, so it is the illness making you feel that. OK?