Please no antidepressants!

So, long story short.....
I'm 28 and should have everything going for me, no serious trauma in my life. The last couple of years I've felt like a completely different person, almost outside of my body, dealing with depressive thoughts and severe anxiety. I've pushed my body to the limit physically, played college football resulting in a couple of concussions, partied a lot up until recently, smoked pot habitually for 8 years and have dabbled in sport enhancing drugs (small amount) as a youngster as well. I'm on this forum in the hopes that someone has some advice.
I've completely changed my life 6 months ago, eating healthy, cutting the booze and smoke out and really havent touched testosterone boosting supplements in years. My doctor put me on Lexapro for my depression and xanax to help me sleep at night or when I'm having real bad anxiety.  Lexapro didn't work and xanax is a short term fix. I don't like taking anything synthetic now but realize I may have to.
I recently went to the doctor (new doctor) to talk about my ordeal and requested my testosterone levels be measured. My testosterone levels were 596 ng/dl and she said this was normal. Ultimately she said I was bi-polar manic depressive and put me on Prozac and Symbyax. I was reading online that 596 ng/dl was normal for a 55 year old man. Before I try the anti-depressants I wanna make sure this isn't a low testosterone thing.  I've also tried SAM-E and everything natural to get my imbalancements back on track. Could I be feeling like this because my testosterone levels are low for my age?  Years of abuse? or am I really crazy!?
Lastly, will I ever feel normal again?

[looloo141]

Hey there.. sorry I don't understand about testosterone levels or know very much about it but I can understand how hormones can effect moods, trust me I'm a nightmare twice a month!! Lol...

I'm really pleased that you have cut the weed and booze, it can't have been easy..
I'm sensing with what you have said that things aren't gonna get better overnight and the mood states won't be helped by the withdrawal from the drugs and booze, it must seem that you made a huge effort to sort yourself out and you're not feeling the benefits yet, but you will, don't give up!!

I think what's going on here is that your brain has had to deal with lots of chemical changes and its left you feeling very low, it happens all the time, people often think that getting off booze and stuff will miraculously cure things, but basically the booze, weed and stimulants were feeding your moods and your brain, and now you need safe chemicals to create balance, the balance chemically you are craving. I think it takes people 18-24 months to recover emotionally from this kind of problem, that's without help.

What you've also got to consider is you will still feel depressed and anxious without the drugs because you haven't addressed the reason why you started using them in the first place.. you need to find new ways of coping with life and for this part of your recovery I think therapy is a must, some men find this hard at first but its really helpful, everybody needs emotional support as well as meds.

I wouldn't be surprised if you are Bipolar to be honest, I'm sensing something more than depression but that could be because you've gone through this without help and support..
I hope you don't think I'm blaming all this on the booze and weed cos I'm not, its from experience..
I think you should start the meds.. this new doctor, is she a pyschiatrist? If not id suggest being referred to one, you need assessing and then the diagnosis would be correct. A lot of doctors contradict eachother and you might find your diagnosis could change, mine did a few times, I am bipolar.

Good luck! Keep going back to the doctor until you feel satisfied about the hormone level, as you're quite right, they do make you feel rubbish!
Ask as much questions as you need to :)

[freddie8605]

Yes i believe low testosterone levels can cause depression, but you may want to do more research by googling it as i am not a doctor. You haven't mentioned anything about having mania symptoms so not sure about the bipolar although cant rule that out. Have you tried seeing a psychologist, i mean a good one that you like and get along with? I think if you don't want to go on meds that would be a really good thing. Seeing on e doesn't mean your crazy either heaps of people go through therapy. If you do want to get a good doctor and go down the medication road then defiantly seeing a psychiatrist doctor would be great. I think for the best help getting an accurate diagnosis and supported treatment is a good place to start.