Hi all! Time for our QOM again. I would love to see you guys participate, let's generate a discussion!
This month, I would like to talk about support networks. What/ewho is your biggest source of support for your depression and why? Friends? Family? Co-workers? Professional therapist? Do you find it easy or hard to reach out when you're feeling depressed? Is it difficult for you to talk about your depression? What's some of the more helpful things your support people have said to you or done for you in your time of need? Discuss those experiences.
every one most be supportive but i thought family members are the best source of support for all those of us in depession,when you are too depressed family member always encourage for me my mom and dad are highly supportive i am fighting with depression with the help of them,if i didnt had got their support i was not there till now.
I think a well rounded support system, with friends family and professionals is a good foundation, but there are certainly people who you will find you lean on more, usually people you are closest to. There are some people that don't want to "burden" others, so they tend to be hesitant sometimes to ask for support. Not turning to someone only makes matters worse.
The person I can call at any time for support is my younger sister. She is always willing to listen but I don't go into detail with her. She is the only family member I notify when hospitalized in a psych ward. My psychologist is great and I can tell her anything but basically I have to wait for the next appointment. I do have her home phone number but I save that for an emergency. I have had it since 2002 and have only called her twice. My psychiatrist is a great support but my appointments with her are brief and are three months apart. Finally, I have a very caring case manager. I see her once a month but she encourages me to call her if I need anything.
I am a big believer that if you do not have family support for some reason or another, then you go and find new family members who are supportive and loving and add them to your "Family Tree".
My mom was extremely ill and not a participant in our family. Other family members are not the least bit interested in helping someone who may be suffering like mother did. Her illness was made a joke of and any hints of
the illness showing up in my 9 brothers or sisters is dealt with quickly and dismissed and never discussed.
I was lucky to have found many new "Family Tree" members at my job that I worked at for 40 years. Genuine caring and advice flowed freely among us, both men and women, and from these friends I found out about anxiety, depression, books, videos, therapists, groups, meetings, journaling and Hope.
I met my therapist from a woman who I really admired and he and I had a good rapport and received much help from him until my insurance ran out.
But at the same time I was seeing him, I kept journals of what he said, what I felt, what I wished I would have asked or should have asked and read those today and that is where the journaling helps me.
It depends entirely on the situation I suppose.
Family can be great and they should definitely be one of the first people you reach out to. However, my depression was sometimes worsened by my family life and I found certain family members to be unapproachable. Luckily at the time I got myself into counselling which I found to be amazing. Family advice can be biased sometimes, or they can even be annoyed at you because they feel partly responsible. With counselling you can get a completely unbiased opinion. I would still go for a weekly vent if I could afford to!
At my lowest I found it almost impossible to reach out or talk but now I have learned how important it is I always have a chat about my mood when I feel a need to. Catch the feelings early. Even if its just a crappy week a work, for me those feeling quickly accumulate and anxiety soon creeps in.
I find the sooner I address the problem the more rational I am. If left to brood too long I start catastrophe thinking and thinking in black in white like, 'I messed up in work today, I can never go back they all hate me'. Now my thinking is more like, 'today was a bad day, talk, destress, get an early night and go in tomorrow and prove yourself'.
Keeping an active mind and body and socializing makes all the difference. My counsellor was very straight forward with me. She gave me realistic goals and advice. But what she taught me was to let go of the past, to live in the present moment and to try and cultivate happiness with only MYSELF if mind. There is no point trying to make yourself happy by pleasing everyone else. By no means trample over or disregard others feelings, but only we know what is healthy and best for us.
My first session with my counsellor was unforgetable. She asked me if I like college. I told her it made Me so stressed and unhappy but that I felt a lot of pressure from home. Her answer? 'Leave. If its not for you leave. Do what makes you happy.' No one had ever put it so simply before. No guilt trips or sighs or disappointed looks. It's was freeing. This is how I approach each new day. We must all push ourselves out of our comfort zones to develop as people. But where true happiness is concerned, we can only cultivate it with ourselves in mind. Depression made me loose sight of who i was, what I loved and what I am good at. When I started to value those things, got to know and appreciate myself again, I got enough fight back to fight off my depression.
It is all a learning experience, I have to sit down some days and snap myself out of it, remember my coping tools and push out the negative thoughts, but one I learned that along with talking and having a livelyhood, things fell into place.
I have found in the past (quite awhile ago) that a neutral, 3rd party such as a therapist, has been the most helpful. It's really hard for family members or friends to know what to say or help in many situations.
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