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Really Bad Depression.
Okay so basically i get these phases where i am happy then i change as really moody and depressed also suicidal 24:7 its so annoying it hurts me alot. i do alot of self harming and i laugh at my self everytime. My head tells me that im on a quest to be on a non stop killing rampage, but i ignore most of the time. My head makes me think i am responsible for my grandpa's and best friends death. i haveso much trouble sleeping i wake up really early no matter what time i go to bed its freaky and scary. What is this? Thank You. xx
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1042487 tn?1275283499
Hello there,

we are in no position to diagnose you but like you know it sounds like depression and it requires immediate attention. The first steps are generally to talk about it to your friends and family and get the help of a therapist. Once you have a diagnosis you have many options to go with ranging from medications to natural solutions like prolonged therapy or healthy diet and exercise, supplements like 5-HTP, tryptophan, B vitamins etc.

I don't know if your best friend and grandpa's deaths are recent but they could surely be a trigger to what you are living right now.

Get external help, stop hurting yourself and laughing at yourself and try to enjoy life for what it is. I don't know why you feel responsible for the deaths but it might be obvious to think you are not unless you really are which i doubt. One way to enjoy life is to find some great hobbies you like to do other than self-harming.

Please seek some help. We can be here to support you but we can't replace the people near you and a qualified therapist.

M4
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901137 tn?1267629789
Pardon my directness however given the severity of what you have described you must immediately seek out professional help whether through your family or directly.  

You can do this....

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Thank you both of you. I appreciate it. And i hope we all get better and wow... thanks i know what to do now. xxxxxx  =)
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1192491 tn?1265035429
I agree with Mike5709, I think what you are experiencing may need more than exercise and sunshine, I think you need immediate help.  If you feel that you will act on any of these thoughts of "killing rampage" you need to go to the ER immediately and not wait to make appt. with your doctor.  We all have homicide thoughts from time to time but know we will not act on them, it's when you cannot get homicidal thoughts out of your head that it can turn dangerous.  Please seek professional help.  You will receive medications to help you with your thoughts and assist you to sleep.  Chemical inbalances do not go away without the proper medications.
Plse. let us know what is going on with you, we are concerned for you.

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umm what will ER do? and what kind of medication would i get? right now i am feeling so suicidal and all i need to do is cut my throat then bam! death here i come!
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1042487 tn?1275283499
There are two school of thoughts. If you go see a doctor they will give you an antidepressant. Probably you will start on an SSRI or SNRI. If you go see a therapist you will first be diagnosed then you will make a choice if you really want to go with the antidepressant. You can also try to balance you psych with the help of supplement like tryptophan and 5-HTP they are both nesessary to synthesize serotonin and you just flush out the extra non-used amino acids.

Some people think it's a must to go with the antidepressant but I can tell you the withdrawals are awful once you are addicted while some other can cope with therapy only or support from the amino acids, exercise and healthy diet.

Please consider that I'm in no possition to tell you what is best, that it's up to you to go see a doctor or a therapist and I don't think there is a better choice but seeking external help it's something that must be done.

M4
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1192491 tn?1265035429
Yes, M4YOU is correct in her statements of therapy and choosing to take an antidepressant but right now it is not just a depression you are in, it is a critical situation if you are about to commit suicide and you  need immediate medical intravention.  I have been where you are more than once and I know what you are going thru right now...it is not a good place to be, so, I urge you to not give up.  Get immediate care.  I will give you a brief explanatin of what happens when you go for help at the ER when suicidal.

A doctor will come into see you and ask you what is going on, how long have you had suicidal thoughts, are you thinking about suicide,  do you have a plan to commit suicide, have you made an attempt or have you ever made an attempt or been hospitalized for  an attempt.  He will want a list of any medications you are taking. He will want to know if you have had any hallucinations, delusions. He will want to know if you are under a doctors care for depression or MI or whatever you have been dx with...if you have had a dx.  
The nurse will take bloodwork to make sure you do not have anything physically wrong that could be causing your thoughts.
A mental health worker or therapist will come in and ask you about your feeling and symptoms you are experiencing.
The doctor and mental health worker will determine if you need hospitalization to help get you stabilized and to keep you safe from self harm.
Once you are admitted to your room you will be assigned a phycharist, unless you already have one.  The p-doc will come in an meet you, ask you questions very similar to the ones the ER doctor asked you and prehaps diagnois you..  He will determine if you need meds and I would be willing to bet my paycheck that he will prescribe a antidepressant foryou to help stabilize the brain chemicals that are causing your depression.  If you are having issues with panic attacks he will prescribe something for your anxiety, if you are having issues with sleep he wll give you something to help you sleep.  Basically, they are trying to stabilze you.  
At some point, you will join the other people inpatient for  group therapy.  Group therapy is similar to what we do online on this site.  You will also at some point go to Occupational therapy, where you learn to do things to keep your min busy and off your problems...lik art or card games, board games, etc.  You will be taught techniques to use for relaxation. You will also see a therapist assigned to you on a one to one basis everday.  The group and one on one is to not only discuss your feelings but to learn how to cope with your depression or bipolar or whatever you are dx. with.  Normally the stay is 3-5 days but it could be longer.  You will feel safe inpatient, you will learn skills to cope and your medications for depression will start kicking in and you will begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel.  After you are doing better and in not in harm of harming yourself and released, you will be told to follow up with your physcharist.  
I am telling you it is a lifesaver and a new beginning on how to cope with MI on a daily basis.  You will learn to know the  signs of your depression creeping back and to go for help.  
So, if you are suicidal you need to get immediate help.  Suicide is nothing to play around with, it is serious  and final.  I know your thoughts now...feeling that there is no hope and nothing will ever change and you can't find a reason to live. Giving up hope on life...I'm telling you that it is due to your brain chemicals out of wack.  Once you get stabilized you will want to continue with the p-doc and therapist but right now it is a matter of saving your life and getting out  of the dark pitt.
So, will you plese go for help?

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1192491 tn?1265035429
By the way, he says he is suicidal...do you really think he can get over these thougts by taking a jog...???  
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1042487 tn?1275283499
I didn't say it was all that he needed to do... you are inventing straw man... I proposed various solutions. I don't like the idea of single approach. I've never been into a crisis? I just lost my mom 2 weeks ago and I have been with her during the 8 months she had the cancer. I was in a depression. I did had a relieve with meds, healthy diet and exercise. Please we don't need your negativity here on the forum. You are new posting here and I've been posting here actively for a couple of months it's just that i wasn't active for a month due to my mom's. If you are depressive please don't let it show like you are doing in your posts we don't need this here.

Thanks,
M4
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455167 tn?1259261471
Hello. We need to remember what's important and what's at stake here. This is not the place for a p11sing contest. This site has a disclaimer that states that members posts are not professional advice. Additionally, how is this argument beneficial to someone who is suffering? What are they supposed to think? Posts here are opinions, and arguing has no place here. Can you imagine being at a point where while receiving help, your doctor and therapist are bickering over who is right? Please for the sake of those reaching out for help, take it somewhere else- the social forum, private messages, anywhere but here. This is potentially a life or death situation. Please treat it as such. Best wishes, GM-
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Thank you alot i am being prescribed with medication now! =D Thanks! xxxxxxxxxx
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455167 tn?1259261471
Hello. That's great! Keep us posted on how you're doing. Take care, GM
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Im suffering to I have been in er they helped me and put me on meds I cut and it does help at first then it doesn't I reccomend imadiet help get a therapist then if it gets worse I recommend hospitalization  it's not like in the movies it's a warm atmosphere and wonderful place to be in when suffering
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