Recent tubal pregnancy, possible ligation depressed

[scaredincanada]

In October I was diagnosed with a tubal preagnancy. I underwent chemical treatment to end it so I could avoid surgery. It was a painful experience (not only physically, but mentally as well). In a sense, it turned out to be a success, but I feel I lot more than what I gained. A week ago, it was decided that I should undergo a tubal ligation on my remaining tube to avoid this from happening again. I literally can not eat, sleep, have lost ALL and any interest in things that once peeked my interest, no sex drive, moody, frequent crying spells, and huge sense of emptiness. Have been feeling this way ever since I found out I had a tubal pregnacy. Does it get better? Will I ever be happy again? Will I stop obsessing over this? When can I smile again? I am so sad. Thank you for listening.

[amanda12345678]

It has been very devastating to me as well. I had a eptopic and I lost my tube. After that I had another eptopic preganacy 7 weeks later. I took methatrechate but it did not work, i ended up having surgery. I found out i had endemetrosis in the process. I have a daughter who is two and we though we were trying to expand our family. Since this occurance, its hard to pretend your normal around people. When I'm alone i cry all the time. I try not to cry around my fiancee' because It seems like I just need to deal with it. He is here for me, but sometimes i just want to forget about it. It has been 2 months and its still tramatic. I see people with more than one child and I secretly get jealous. I have one tube left and its my last chance. I pray that God allows us to had another child in the future. It will be very difficult for us to afford IVF. I never knew how much I wanted more children, after a misscarriage, and two eptopic pregnancies it has been severly difficult. I need  prayer, maybe im doing something wrong...

[venora]

I know what you mean.I felt the same way after my miscarriage.I always asked myself why them and not me? Of course there is no answer and that makes it just that much harder.
If you keep feeling this way ,talk to your doctor and maybe even a therapist .I know my therapist ehlped me regain my life again after being diagnosed bi polar.I was able to talk about things that I had been carrying around for years like how I really felt about my miscarriage and how I still moourn for that child,I had never ever told anyone about that.A therapist iis alot of times better than afriend or family member to talk too.
Also keep coming here to talk.I will listen Sometimes that  is just what we need is someone to listen
LOVe Venora

[scaredincanada]

Thanks for your kind words. It just seems that my life and my soul purpose has been stripped from me and have turned into this cold hearted person who does not care about anything, or anyone for that matter. I used to love to laugh and joke around (very high spirited) but now, well, I am in a different state of mind. I hate seeing pregnant ladies at work (there are two that are due around the same time I was expected to deliver) and seeing their pregnant bellies depresses me even more. It is hard to avoid them as we work in a close surrounding, so I can not avoid them. Its just so hard to contend with. :(

[venora]

you are going through a grieving process.Allow your self to grieve.You have been through a rough time physically and mentally and ittakes time to heal.I still grieve fopr the child I lost over 30 years when I miscarried.
Please be good to yourself.I blamed myself for years for the miscarriage and it took years to realize that it was just part of my life that I had to experience and it wasnt my fault I misccrried.
You will be ok .You will smile and you will partake of life again.You just need some time.
Let me know if there is anything else I can help with to see you thorugh this difficult time .
Love Venora