Scared. Extremely scared.

To begin with, this is urgent and requires a quick response. Comments, thoughts, love, support, stories, whatever. Good morning or evening or day or night or afternoon ladies and gentlemen and whassup. My name is Hamed Khatiz and I am a sixteen year old student, writer, drummer and many more from Sydney.

When you have your concerns for someone, how do you address that and tell them there is help available?

I have concerns for my friend. What happened was, a few weeks ago, she took what some would consider "The Morning After Tablet" or emergency contraception. Last week she felt the effect. She was in extreme pain, she was losing a lot of period blood for lack of a better term and she was hsopitalised for it. All this happened in the middle of a school day

She is back at school and she had set off many warning signals that perhaps her emotional situation is not great. Physically she is back in shape and more, but emotionally, I am not so certain. I am just extremely worried that perhaps she might have a bit off trouble dealing with the emotional repercussions of even taking the medication. She kept the treatment a secret from her mother (or at least she seriously wanted to) and I feel she is under a lot of pressure.

I am scared for her.

So I arranged a time to meet up with her and begin speaking with her about her emotional situation. I am planning to tell her that

-The situation she is in can raise emotional concerns.
-I am concerned for her emotional health.
-Myself and the guys love her and are willing to help her.
-There are two professional counsellors at our school who have the knowledge to help her too.

What is the danger of talking to her myself? What should I do, because I have concerns and do not know how to help her? The meeting is tomorrow morning and I am so scared that if maybe I get this wrong then perhaps she will lose it. Perhaps she will feel extreme pressure and maybe even get pissed at me.

Scared.

Scared.

Scared.

[Poo44clooner]

First of all let me commend you on being such a good friend to this girl. Your empathy is remarkable. Sounds like you have everything in place, the support of her close friends who care for her, and you already know about the professional counselors and you've made up your mind to speak with her. I think you are afraid because you have no confidence in this situation, which I can understand. When you meet with her just be as gentle as possible but firm and let her know that you and the others are worried about her emotionally. Let her speak and don't force anything on her. Hear her out. But let her understand that you and the others are there for her and that you think that she should speak with one of the counselors just to get her feelings out.
There is such a stigma with anything psychiatric, like counselors, therapists, and taking psychiatric drugs or even mentioning anything about mental illness.  So just approach it like she needs to speak with someone who can help her feel better about her decision and how she can accept or forgive herself about her decision.
Best of luck, hope she gets better,
Angela

[RainLover71]

You are showing a genuine concern for a close friend who obviously needs some help as this is a tough situation she is going through.If you feel confident to speak with her yourself then follow your heart.The other option is to suggest she speak to the school counsellors and go from there.I doubt she would get upset with you as you are showing a real concern for her safety and wellbeing.You may want to ask her how she's feeling and if she wants to talk about the matter.All the best.

[Hobby10]

Tell her that you care.  Listen to her.  Suggest or rather take her to a counselor at school.  Keep very confidential because she doesn't need gossip or rumors.  If you have a planned parenthood or something similar maybe go there as well.  Suggests us as well.  Don't b scared--- she needs someone to care.  And I don't really understand physically what has happened miscarriage?   Anyway u both hav us if u need us.

[Kayannaboo]

Being there for her, for starters is a good thing as she probably feels pretty alone at this point. Sometimes physical pain when it is extreme can make you feel depressed. I know for sure as this is a personal experience. I has serious stomach cramps to the point where I was admitted in the hospital. This was 2wks ago. After days of excruciating pain, it took a while for me to feel like ME. I just wanted to sleep and constantly scared that everything I did would make it come back.

However, the help of my friends were big help! BIG HELP! They were there for me and so with your help and the help of your friends, she will get through this. Bring her somewhere relaxing -- peaceful. Let her know you are concerned for her and that you are there for whatever she needs. As you said, her mother is oblivious so her next is to speak with the Guidance Counselor at school. You are to encourage her to do so.

Best of wishes.

Anna

[Clysta]

Is there a particular thing she is upset about? An EC is NOT an abortion pill, and would not have caused one. There are various other pills that can have abortive effects, but these HAVE to be obtained from medical professionals only and not random people - its extremely dangerous to take any medications not prescribed.

If she took an actual abortion pill (there are several numerous ones) it can have long lasting affects, and in some can cause regret and depression. You can talk to her in private or with others, but it's very possible she will be upset if she wanted to keep it a secret and know numerous people know. Without knowing exactly what she's upset about, it's hard to give ways to approach it. If she only took an EC there's really nothing to be upset about, unless she actually did want to become pregnant and regretted preventing that.

[Poo44clooner]

First of all let me commend you on being such a good friend to this girl. Your empathy is remarkable. Sounds like you have everything in place, the support of her close friends who care for her, and you already know about the professional counselors and you've made up your mind to speak with her. I think you are afraid because you have no confidence in this situation, which I can understand. When you meet with her just be as gentle as possible but firm and let her know that you and the others are worried about her emotionally. Let her speak and don't force anything on her. Hear her out. But let her understand that you and the others are there for her and that you think that she should speak with one of the counselors just to get her feelings out.
There is such a stigma with anything psychiatric, like counselors, therapists, and taking psychiatric drugs or even mentioning anything about mental illness.  So just approach it like she needs to speak with someone who can help her feel better about her decision and how she can accept or forgive herself about her decision.
Best of luck, hope she gets better,
Angela