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Sever, life-long depression, anxiety, panic attacks, eating disorder, mood swings
Hello!
My name is Earl and I'm 18. I do not like to pity myself or automatically assume I have a disorder or a disease but I would really like some suggestions. I have been severely depressed most of my life. My depression includes severe anxiety, panic attacks, severe loss of energy, random and severe mood swings, and other odds and ends. I have experienced panic attacks and anxiety since I was a kid and my depression started to worsen around 12 or 13. I think the typical depression symptoms are universal so I assume those who are able to help know what I'm talking about. I do have terrible mood swings, which usually company my anxiety attacks. I can change from an ecstatic, happy feeling to an impending doom mood in a split second. When I talk about a loss of energy it is both physical and mental. I am not out of breath but sometimes I am very achy and I cannot push myself to do things and feel sleepy and exhausted. I almost received help when I was 16 but my mother insisted I was just a teenager and it was my hormones. In May of this year (I turned 18 April 26th) I went to the doctor with my mother because I sometimes have warm, achy joints. My doctor was very kind and since I was 18 I went to the examination room alone. I usually don't tell people about these problems but I was feeling like maybe it was my chance to do something for myself so I explained to her my symptoms. She prescribed me Fluoxotine in 20mg, white pills. It's the technical term for Prozac I assumed. I also think it is just a generic depression medication prescribed as a trial medication to make sure you don't have any long-term mental illnesses. A week later I came home from school and I was actually in a decent mood but I had been contemplating suicide for a month then, I do everyday but I was beginning to plan different ways, and I swallowed about 120 - 80mg aspirin, some of my fathers Lisinopril (for his heart), half a bottle of Ibuprofen, and some melatonin. I ended up feeling severely sick the next day at school and felt sensitive to light, nauseated, and my hearing started to alter. After school my mother found out after she discovered the empty pill bottles in my room and called my doctor. I told my doctor about the suicide and she upped my dosage to 40mg. Even though I have been on Prozac for about a month and a half I can't really tell if they are working. The first week on the 20mg pills I could feel a difference but they stopped working after that week. My hearing came back after three days and I feel fine now. I have also tried to commit suicide twice in a week my Junior year using four bottles of generic, Equate pain killers. My parents do not know about those. Also, my parents do not seem very interested in these issues. They acknowledge that I have them but they believe it is solely my responsibility. My mother does have mental illness, she has tried to commit suicide multiple times from the age 18 and also has depression. She is an alcoholic but it doesn't bother me as much as it did when I was younger. She used to be addicted to cocaine but that was about 5-10 years before I was born (1994). My father also has used various drugs such as meth and possibly heroine (I'm not sure, also before I was born.) My anxiety and panic attacks are very severe, where I feel absolute doom for no particular reason. I freeze up and my heart races, I feel sick to my stomach and I desperately want to cry. This happens very often, ever since I was very young, I would say 4 or 5. I don't believe any trauma was the cause but I did experience being in the vehicle when my mother received a DUI and in the back of a cop car. My mother has always drank, as I explained, and often belittles me. I witnessed her almost committing suicide with a hand gun in her bedroom when I was 5 (I believe). She has done other things but I don't like to blame others for my problems so I will leave it at that. My mother also has sings of severe bi polar disorder or dissociative disorder because her personality often changes. My father has always remained distant and disapproving of me. He thinks I am intelligent but was not a particularly supportive father. I should also mention that I am gay, it is not a choice, do not try to convince me otherwise because you will sound idiotic. Being gay does not put stress on me because I know I did not choose it and it's not something to be stressed about. For over a year and a half I have been bulimic. I am 6'0 and weigh 127-131 lbs. I have poor weight image issues. I do like the way I look but I have never approved of my body weight. I think I may be anemic because I have recently started to have bouts of nausea and fatigue including shaking fingers, dizziness, and poor vision. I live in Butte, Montana. I really truly appreciate all help given (I am an atheist so I prefer you didn't mention your religion or prayers thankyou)
I'm very lost and I really wish to find some answers, thankyou.
My name is Earl and I'm 18. I do not like to pity myself or automatically assume I have a disorder or a disease but I would really like some suggestions. I have been severely depressed most of my life. My depression includes severe anxiety, panic attacks, severe loss of energy, random and severe mood swings, and other odds and ends. I have experienced panic attacks and anxiety since I was a kid and my depression started to worsen around 12 or 13. I think the typical depression symptoms are universal so I assume those who are able to help know what I'm talking about. I do have terrible mood swings, which usually company my anxiety attacks. I can change from an ecstatic, happy feeling to an impending doom mood in a split second. When I talk about a loss of energy it is both physical and mental. I am not out of breath but sometimes I am very achy and I cannot push myself to do things and feel sleepy and exhausted. I almost received help when I was 16 but my mother insisted I was just a teenager and it was my hormones. In May of this year (I turned 18 April 26th) I went to the doctor with my mother because I sometimes have warm, achy joints. My doctor was very kind and since I was 18 I went to the examination room alone. I usually don't tell people about these problems but I was feeling like maybe it was my chance to do something for myself so I explained to her my symptoms. She prescribed me Fluoxotine in 20mg, white pills. It's the technical term for Prozac I assumed. I also think it is just a generic depression medication prescribed as a trial medication to make sure you don't have any long-term mental illnesses. A week later I came home from school and I was actually in a decent mood but I had been contemplating suicide for a month then, I do everyday but I was beginning to plan different ways, and I swallowed about 120 - 80mg aspirin, some of my fathers Lisinopril (for his heart), half a bottle of Ibuprofen, and some melatonin. I ended up feeling severely sick the next day at school and felt sensitive to light, nauseated, and my hearing started to alter. After school my mother found out after she discovered the empty pill bottles in my room and called my doctor. I told my doctor about the suicide and she upped my dosage to 40mg. Even though I have been on Prozac for about a month and a half I can't really tell if they are working. The first week on the 20mg pills I could feel a difference but they stopped working after that week. My hearing came back after three days and I feel fine now. I have also tried to commit suicide twice in a week my Junior year using four bottles of generic, Equate pain killers. My parents do not know about those. Also, my parents do not seem very interested in these issues. They acknowledge that I have them but they believe it is solely my responsibility. My mother does have mental illness, she has tried to commit suicide multiple times from the age 18 and also has depression. She is an alcoholic but it doesn't bother me as much as it did when I was younger. She used to be addicted to cocaine but that was about 5-10 years before I was born (1994). My father also has used various drugs such as meth and possibly heroine (I'm not sure, also before I was born.) My anxiety and panic attacks are very severe, where I feel absolute doom for no particular reason. I freeze up and my heart races, I feel sick to my stomach and I desperately want to cry. This happens very often, ever since I was very young, I would say 4 or 5. I don't believe any trauma was the cause but I did experience being in the vehicle when my mother received a DUI and in the back of a cop car. My mother has always drank, as I explained, and often belittles me. I witnessed her almost committing suicide with a hand gun in her bedroom when I was 5 (I believe). She has done other things but I don't like to blame others for my problems so I will leave it at that. My mother also has sings of severe bi polar disorder or dissociative disorder because her personality often changes. My father has always remained distant and disapproving of me. He thinks I am intelligent but was not a particularly supportive father. I should also mention that I am gay, it is not a choice, do not try to convince me otherwise because you will sound idiotic. Being gay does not put stress on me because I know I did not choose it and it's not something to be stressed about. For over a year and a half I have been bulimic. I am 6'0 and weigh 127-131 lbs. I have poor weight image issues. I do like the way I look but I have never approved of my body weight. I think I may be anemic because I have recently started to have bouts of nausea and fatigue including shaking fingers, dizziness, and poor vision. I live in Butte, Montana. I really truly appreciate all help given (I am an atheist so I prefer you didn't mention your religion or prayers thankyou)
I'm very lost and I really wish to find some answers, thankyou.
Someone please help me. I got a panic attack out of the blue last Sunday August 14,2016 in the middle of church. I felt a cold sensation in my left neck, jaw and side of my head then I felt as if I was dying and my heart raced. That week was full of emergency trip visits and hospital check ups. A cardiologist did a CT of my chest and discovered my right coronary artery is coming out the wrong spot. They said it isn't life threatening nor the issue for my chest pain, heart palpitations, etc. I finally got medication called Clonozepam (Klonopin) last Friday August 19. A full MG made me drowsy, stumble and do silly things. I have 15 MG total and have been taking half a MG irregularly. The doctor prescribed 3 times a day but my dad has furiously refused that I take the medicine as he thinks I'll get addicted. He adds to my panic and I just dont know when I should be taking it and how much anymore. School started Monday the 22nd and Im in a dual enrollment program so Im full time in a community college at 16. I cant handle this and today I could barely concentrate in class so I took half a MG around morning. I I felt the symptoms return around 4 pm and i dont want to take my medicine again. Throughout all this I have taken the painkiller ibuprofen (600 mg) given by my mom and sometimes myself and it rarely stops the chest pain. I feel as if I'll have a heart attack so often, I feel a burning, aching feeling in my chest. These panic attacks are tormenting my life and I want to kill myself. I saw a therapist last week in the hospital who taught me breathing techniques but those fail mostly. Please someone help me just figure things out. My parents especially my dad would be furious if they found out I wanted to kill myself. Sometines Im scared taking the ibuprofen will kill me anyway. Im not thinking rationally, I know. I have no good friends to talk to about this. I need guidance as to if I should be taking the clonozepam 3 times a day as directed despite my dad's animosity towards it and failure to understand my struggle. Should I dare take ibuprofen anymore? When Im experiencing my attacks, standing or sitting makes my heart/chest ache and race. Laying down anywhere relieves the pain somewhat. I have already wasted so much of my parents time and money going to the emergency room and hospital so much last week and cant afford to go again. Im afraid there's something wrong with my heart and I'll die but it hasn't happened yet and the panic attacks keep happening anI'm just want to die. I'm feeling awful right now, chest hurts, heart palpates and I feel I'll have a stroke/heart attack. I'm 16 and according to the doctors, neurologist and cardiologist,"i seem fine" I dont feel fine, these attacks are consuming my life and they chose a bad time to start now that school is back. These attacks last for hours and the heart pain scares me the most followed by the neck sensation. Someone help me please
Hi Earl,
My names Lauren and first off I want to say I am so sorry for all your pain you have been going through. Um.. I am 15 and I have been diagnosed with depression and extreme anxiety. I have tried to comit also and now I just revert to cutting myself but I want to let you know that if you ever need someone to talk to I will always be here. I live in Sydney, Australia but am very willing to try and listen and help you if I can. I dont like seeing anyone else go through what I have.
:) Just message me if you'd like.
My names Lauren and first off I want to say I am so sorry for all your pain you have been going through. Um.. I am 15 and I have been diagnosed with depression and extreme anxiety. I have tried to comit also and now I just revert to cutting myself but I want to let you know that if you ever need someone to talk to I will always be here. I live in Sydney, Australia but am very willing to try and listen and help you if I can. I dont like seeing anyone else go through what I have.
:) Just message me if you'd like.
Hi Earl, I'm really sorry to hear about what youre going through, but I've suffered from practically all the same things as you since I was about 13, and I still havent exactly learned how to deal with them myself, it's a very difficult process. But there are people here who understand and are very willing to help.
The thing about depression is, that it does have physical effects on us, sleepyness and aches and pains. The mind and the body are fairly connected, if we dont look after our mind, our body can often suffer as a result. So once your depression is addresed the physical aspects might improve or go away all together.
I suffer from a lot of panic attacks to, the antidepressants I have been prescribed help me with my mood and lessen my anxiousness/panic attacks, maybe you should go back to your doctor and talk over your options medication wise. 40mg is a very high dose, and it can sometimes even be detrimental to you because on antidepressants our feelings of depression and suicide can worsen for a little while to begin with. You shod definately read the info leaflets that come with your meds, they help to know that what youre feeling is perfectly normal.
Maybe what you need to do is talk though, it seems you have a lot on your mind and a lot going on with your life with little support. Fortunately you can find tonnes of support and help on here, as fighting your issues is definately something you dont want to do alone. Maybe taking to a professional about past traumas could be helpful and allow you to get closure on alot of things in your past. Depression is an uphill battle but I really do hope you get the help you need.
If you ever want to talk just let me know, I'm sure there's a lot we have in common and could share with eachother.
Good Luck!
The thing about depression is, that it does have physical effects on us, sleepyness and aches and pains. The mind and the body are fairly connected, if we dont look after our mind, our body can often suffer as a result. So once your depression is addresed the physical aspects might improve or go away all together.
I suffer from a lot of panic attacks to, the antidepressants I have been prescribed help me with my mood and lessen my anxiousness/panic attacks, maybe you should go back to your doctor and talk over your options medication wise. 40mg is a very high dose, and it can sometimes even be detrimental to you because on antidepressants our feelings of depression and suicide can worsen for a little while to begin with. You shod definately read the info leaflets that come with your meds, they help to know that what youre feeling is perfectly normal.
Maybe what you need to do is talk though, it seems you have a lot on your mind and a lot going on with your life with little support. Fortunately you can find tonnes of support and help on here, as fighting your issues is definately something you dont want to do alone. Maybe taking to a professional about past traumas could be helpful and allow you to get closure on alot of things in your past. Depression is an uphill battle but I really do hope you get the help you need.
If you ever want to talk just let me know, I'm sure there's a lot we have in common and could share with eachother.
Good Luck!
I am really sorry for the pain you are going through & maybe you need to see your doctor and review the medication situation because that is a high dose of prozac & not all meds work for all people.There might be a medication that will work better to help you adjust to you condition.There seems to be alot going on & it would make life so much easier for you if it could be managed.You don't have very supportive parents which is sad so you will have to do most of the leg work yourself.I suggest you do your best to sort all this out before it gets to much for you.Take care.
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