Should I just die...?

[Lifelessxx]

I used to be this happy little girl who would have imaginary friends and laugh all of the time and be so joyful and thankful for every new day that came. I loved to laugh and play and use my imagination. But that was the past...I'm 13 and I just want to end life so much. But I'm afraid of the pain...I cut and somehow people saw my wrists but I tried to hide them the best that I could cause I'm not some attention seeker. People at school call me the most horrible names cause of my cutting problem...they dont even know the pain I feel inside my heart everyday...they dont know the thoughts that go through my head. When my mom found out about my cutting problem she blew me off she didnt care how I felt she said I was crazy and that just hurt me...I..I sometimes cant believe the fights I have with my parents...they seem unreal because I would never talk to them in such a horrible way. I've been crying alot lately and I cant stop. I have horrible headaches and emotional pain. My parents really dont care how I feel anymore they just laugh right in my face and tell me that I'm possesed. I feel hated and the space I take up on earth needs to be emptied. Plus why even live if I'm just a worthless piece of sh*t anyways...no one gets me at all they dont even care when I talk. If I try to talk to a person they just blow me off...like I'm just wind. Sometimes I just put a smile on my face...but inside Im dying. I-I used to be invovled with Wicca...but then there was very bizzare things going on in my house and somemany things I cant explain to you. Then I got paraniod, scared and depressed. I need help...I feel like I'm going insane...but I wouldnt have to suffer this pain if I died...please help. ANd I dont believe in god anymore I have lost faith and trust.

[seattlemom2plus]

Just wanted to check in with you Lifelessxx to see how things were going, was thinking of you.

[rls27]

Do you have anyone you can talk to at your school...counselors of any sort? They can probably help you to get the help you need.

Something you need to realize. All this pain and angst you're feeling is temporary. Commiting suicide is permanent. There will always be ups and downs in life. Your teen years are hard. Don't be fooled by the kids in school who tease you and seem happy and confident. I can assure you they aren't. On the inside, most of them have many of the same feelings of doubt, confusion, hostility, sadness, lonliness, and all emotions in between. Some people just hide it better than others.

Set some goals for yourself, short term and long term, and work your way towards those goals. Give yourself something to look forward to and a sense of accomplishment. It doesn't have to be anything on a grand scale. Start out small and keep yourself busy.

You say you don't believe in God any longer. You've lost faith and hope. I'm not a religious person, but it couldn't hurt for you to maybe sit with a pastor or priest in your area just to talk. It doesn't have to be about God and religion per say. Please just reach out and talk to someone before you choose to end your life. One thing I can promise you, life will change. There will be ups and downs. Right now you're in a down. It won't stay that way forever.

[TORCH89]

Quite often being a teen can be very difficult. I know in my teenage years I had ups and downs as I think we all do. Think about what would make you happy and set a goal to get there. Try to talk to your school counselor, depression in teens is common, you're not alone. Take a break and enjoy yourself for a change.

[RainLover71]

You deserve better and it will happen.When your feeling down remember that it won,t last for ever that infact it will pass.You are an individual and that makes you special.Your so young and have so much to live for you just have to discover wha tthat is and work with it.We only get one shot at life so ending it would be heart breaking and tragic.It can,t happen so you need to get out of this mood your in and create a life for yourself.If you apply yourself you will have a great career a bright future and oneday a family of your own who will love you.Block out all the negative elements in your life now and focus on you.Your the most important person in this situation.My heart goes out to you.Take care and remember there are some wonderful people on this forum who will always listen.

[dwt7let]

Hi
You sound like an intellegent person to me who is in alot of emotional pain that's why your cutting. Wondering what bad things have happened to make you feel like this ?
Or is it the fact that you feel un-loved and un-heard by your parents who sound cruel and cold to me !!!
Try not to take notice of the people who call you it is their lack of knowledge and empathy that causes them to taunt you. Anything different that people don't understand they pick on.
Well the main thing is how are you going to get well, I totally agree with seeing a counsellor/therapist, have you got another close relative you can confide in to help you get help. You need to go to the Dr's they might beable to refer you to someone who specialises in self-harm. Don't let them brush you off with tablets try not to go on them as they are addictive easier to take than get off. Where I live we can get advocates do you have any childrens charitys that can help you ?
You can and will get through this start being kind to you, you should be worry free having fun. Go out with your friend and have fun, keep a time table of how to keep busy and out of the house if needs be this will help distract you from your pain, write down how you feel and rip it up it helps get rid of rubbish. Write a positive plan of what you'd like to do all positive, pass your exams get a good job, get your own place have goals for you and your future !!!!
I want to send you a Big Hug !!!!!
Take care and Let me know how your doing !!
Love
Lorraine xxx

[seattlemom2plus]

Don't give up and don't let people's actions towards you be taken in internally to where you are being destructive to yourself.  When you do this, it makes them win.  Try to remove yourself as much as possible from what people say or the arguments you have with family.  I know this is hard to do and can emotionally just make you sick inside.  Which from what you say with the headaches it is deeply bothering you.

You are doing the right thing by reaching out to people that are not so close to your situation.  Sometimes this helps you with seeing the other side or other options that you might not realize are available to you.  There is a whole other world outside of school and a whole other world outside of family.

Think about what some of your life goals are, what do you want to do or become?  Sometimes looking beyond this moment can help you gain perspective of the whole picture.

[giantsfan12]

your story saddens me very much. have u been to a doctor or therapist to find out what is really going on with you? dont worry about names that people call you. theyre dumb and they dont understand that you are probably alot stronger than they are for dealing with these problems. as far as your parents go. any child deserves better than that, go to a counselor at your school and tell them that you need help and that you are being neglected at home. that your parents ignore you and laugh at your problems. also let them know if there is any other kind of abuse going on. if u feel like you are in danger tell the counselor that. it doesnt mean your crazy because you have problems.  you were possibly born this way. and either way you cant help it. but talk to an adult you can trust. maybe a teacher or a guidance counselor. maybe even a principal. but get the help you need and keep faith in God. its not him that causes people to be so cruel. they were cruel to Jesus as well. but if u ever need an adult to talk to you can write to me on here. take my advice and tell me how it goes. youl be in my prayers, god bless