I am very depressed. My family and "friends" want me to withdraw from school this semester. I do not think that is a good idea for me because I am in my last semester of graduate school, set to graduate May 11, 2013. I feel as though I cannot just give up now when I only have 3 months left. I have been seeing the school therapist for my depression since October, but recently my family became aware of it. This has made things so much worse for me, now they have created all these new rules, for example, I had to switch my whole schedule around so all my classes fell on Tuesday and Thursday and I have to make the drive (2hr) home every Thursday night and stay until Monday night. They believe I need to be around family to get better but I feel the complete opposite. I cannot get any of my work done around the house, they all treat me different, they know nothing about depression and I feel I am getting worse and worse everyday. To the point where suicide crossed my mind, when my sister said she would drive me back and forth to all my classes. Every time I try to leave home and head back to campus, they refuse until I beg them and they all think I hate them, but I don't. I was doing fine when they didn't know about this. Also, everyone blames my boyfriend for my problems, but they do not know we were struggling with this together and leaning on each other. Now I cant see him anymore and its adding to my stress. I feel I am out of options.
I know you have a lot going on and yes you may need to withdraw from school. With the addition of being pregnant, I don't know that it would be beneficial to stay
Depression is a hard thing to do deal with and it is what you should be focusing on as much as possible. I know what it is like when people don't understand depression and it suck but the only one that is living this is you. I am sure you regret telling your family about the depression. I also know what it is like for the family to be the last ones you want to be around.
If your boyfriend is dealing with depression as well perhaps a break will help. It is hard to deal with depression when you are around people who are also depressed.
I wish you the best of luck and come back to talk anytime you need to.
I am not pregnant, I was the last time I logged in but that was in 2011 and I had a miscarriage back then. I think staying in school is the best thing for me. At least I have a goal, which is graduation. What else would I do? Stay home all day and feel like a failure? I dont think so.
It seems you have your mind made up, and having a goal is a good thing when depressed in my opinion. You're right that when you're this close, it will probably make it easy to feel like a failure, which will only make things worse. Stay in school if you think you can pass your classes and that looking toward this goal, this happy day at the end of the semester to celebrate your success will give you a reason to keep going and keep living.
As for your family, schedule an appointment with the school counselor when your family can go. Arrange with your therapist to discuss what your parents can do to help and that them being so clingy and overprotective is making you feel trapped, like you're a fish out of water who doesn't have space or ability to breathe. Have him/her point out to them this behavior only makes it doubly obvious to you what you're feeling and that it makes it worse and that it's disabling you from using the tools you've been learning in therapy to deal with your depression.
Make sure you point out you love them and appreciate their concern but need them to treat you like nothing's wrong to stand a chance of getting better. Tell them they can call and talk with you but not to become crazy with the phone calls if you don't answer because you may be showering, doing school work, in class, out with friends, or just not feeling up to it and will get back to them when you are able.
As far as the boyfriend, if he was genuinely helping you and you him and helping someone was giving you even more a reason to go on and making you feel useful and good about yourself to be making a difference for someone else's life, then I see nothing wrong with it. Just be sure to allow both of you space when needed and don't put all your focus on him as you'll need to put a lot of your own focus on you to get better yourself and same for him.
You're in grad school, so you're old enough to make your own decisions. If your therapist tells them what you're telling them, they may be more likely to listen. I know mine were.
I think ThatQuietGirl gave you excellent advice. I'm glad you decided to stay in school. You have a goal and this is terrific. Your almost there. You should feel so proud of yourself. Take care of yourself, Crystal
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