Signs of Depression in 6yr old

[keephimsafe]

This summer I was ordered by court to share every other week visitation with my ex husband.  Our son is 6yrs old.  He is usually a happy and very self entertaining child with a vivid imagination.  Since being subjected to the week by week visitation (his father and I live in separate states) he has become an entirely different child.  Since this order went through, our son has gone from seeing his father 4 days a month to every other week...  He goes to a babysitter, as opposed to here where a sitter comes to our house and I only work 2 days a week, the rest I am with him and his brother and sister (step-siblings, but we're so close, it's just the same...) He's lost interest in things which he has LOVED before, he rarely wants to go outside and has told his grandparents that his father makes him sit outside by himself and does not play with him.  He doesn't want to do anything like read his books, which he loved before, I ask him to sit with me and do that, he starts complaining of not feeling well...We try to get him to do things with us that he used to look forward to and it ends up being him crying and saying that he's not good at it or he doesn't know how to.  he dwells on things like his baby sister smacking him or teasing him (which we are curbing her, but she is 3, and still learning.)  He feels that he's blamed for everything and has recently told me that no one listens to him and that I can't tell him what to do...  I do know that his father teases him, and has left bruises on him by just "playing" or so that's what he has told our son.  Our son told me that he tells daddy to stop because it hurts and his dad just laughs at him and calls him a sissy...  Also, our  son also has a phrase he uses a lot, "You hurt my feelings" usually followed by very high pitched, unconsolable crying.  I'm really trying everything that I can and it's just so hard.  His father even told him that I have forgotten about him since he didn't bring him back home on time and stated that I was supposed to have picked up our son...  My happy, fun loving and caring child is not there any more...I don't even see it in his eyes any more, he seems broken and this is hurting me so badly...  Could he be suffering from a form of depression?  How could I help him and make sure that he knows that it's going to be okay?  How can I save him?  I'm so worried.  I just don't know what else to do.  Please let me know if you have anything in mind.  I am trying to get an appt. with a psychologist so that he will be able to talk to someone who is not emotionally involved in the situation... I'm also enrolling him into a "Banana Splits" group in school, which is for children of split homes...  I just know that at the end of last school year, his father had talked about everything to him about wanting to have him every other week, our son's grades and testing dropped and his behavior progressively worsened, not paying attention, acting out, talking back...completely out of the ordinary for him.  I am concerned that this summer and the change back to regular 4 day a month visitation will disrupt his schooling...I guess I just need a little direction.  Thank you in advance for all the help that you may give.  Have a wonderful evening.

[Venora Moonwind]

divorce is hard on the children and they often balme themselves for the seperation.See if you can get him to a counselor to let him know its not his fault and I would definatly talk to ex about not calling him names as it just  makes things worse for you son.I will keep you and your family in my prayers.let me know how it goes.
Love Venora

[Jade59]

I don't mean to alarm, but this behavior sounds like molestation from SOMEONE.  I speak from experience from a very early age.  It could be anyone.  I hope I am wrong.    

[rajindancer]

Yes, FMXSMKR you are on the right track but I'm not sure it's molestation.  Physical abuse and mental abuse have the same result as molestation on a small person.  There is something very wrong with a man who taunts a 6 year old and calls his son names.  My brother "plays" with his children as he loves to wrestle and they DO NOT have bruises from it EVER.  It sounds to me like your EX is the one who needs therapy.  You need to move fast.  Your son has given you all the clues he can that something is wrong.  His father is supposed to be a safe person and he is not. Your son could be depressed, but being depressed and having depression are two very different things.  There is so much more I could write, but I do not have the time.  Just know that you are his mother, your instincts are telling you that something is wrong, follow them.  Divorce is difficult on everyone, sometimes adults do not act appropriately after one either.  Your Ex is taking it out on the one person that can't fight back.  It's a classic case of power control issues.