So depressed dont know what to do

After all thease years I am finding myself so depressed and fighting it so bad I wont go out of my house unless I have to once a month to get food for my kids and to get my kids from school if I have to even to take the dogs out to pee is so trying, Im in tears  telling a message board cause someone might read this and see who it is. I dont do any drugs I am not working at all and have in years. It is almost impossible for me to go to the dr cause I break down like 8 months ago and she gave me something it didnt do anything so she wanted to see me again and then she moved i am struggling to go to another dr. other people out there seem so scary to me, it hurts when I rely on my kids to go and get milk and have no one to talk to I need to do something I am crying for HELP

[remar]

We're here to help as much as we can. I would recommend trying to find another Dr. Can I ask what you were taking before? Sometimes you may have to try several meds to find one that works for you. We also have a great Agoraphobia forum here that may be a huge help to you. Try to take a look at it. Keep posting. We'll be here for you.  

[sotroubled]

I was taking 20mg of Xanxa once a day, until I can get a nerve to go back to a dr I am taking 200mg of sleeping pills so I can deal with my kids drs the hard thing is I found out my great grandma had this and my aunt has it too, my kids dont know anything and it is getting real hard not to break down. My daughter is going to see a therapist she is already showing signs of it and I feel Like I gave it to her I hate myself for it so badly. I have to take her tuesday is the big d day right now I want to shut down

[PamelaBee]

Go to the hospital!  Tell them how and what you feel==they will take care of you, they have too, especially that you have children!!  Do it now!!  Don't suffer in silence.  Your children deserve better, and so do YOU!

[remar]

I'm not sure if this is genetic or not. Very interesting question because I also suffer with anxiety and depression and so does my daughter. Blaming yourself will do no good at all. I really think therapy and an antidepressant would help you. If you don't feel like you can get out of the house to go to therapy then you might want to think about getting on an antidepressant first.

[sotroubled]

I have 4 kids oldest is 21 and my youngest is 12 I only have one girl and she is 12, I will do anything for my kids, I did put off her going to theropy cause I took her in and they keep on send her over there to someone else, So the other day she said Mom I need to talk to you, she started cutting herself I felt that I let her down and I know I did, I talk to her and cryied and cried. So she is seeing someone. I know I let her down and I will not do that again. It is so hard bearing this on me, my brother killed himself, I am trying to talk myself in going to the store I needed to go the store for over a week. It is so hard for me to go out it is almost unbearable.

[remar]

I'm glad to hear your daughter is in therapy now.It sounds like they were sure bouncing her around alot. Try not to feel so bad about it. You were trying and they were failing you and your daughter.
Did I read your post right, are you taking 20 mgs of Xanax, or 2 mgs?
I understand it can be hard to get out and about. I go through the same thing sometimes. But, once I get out and do what I need to do and get back home I'm proud of myself because I did it.
Are you worried you may have a panic attack if you go to the store? If you do, it's okay. I've had many in the stores and made it through. Just walk out and take several deep breaths. What also helps me is to not think about it because you can get yourself so worked up you will end up not going. Try to clear your mind, I know, easier said than done, and go.

[sotroubled]

I am taking 20mg of Xanax and it is not working. I got out today which was a miracle,  I walked out of the store i couldnt do it. I had my daughter too.

[remar]

20 mgs is an extreme dose. Xanax can actually make your depression worse. Especially at this dose. And you take 20 mgs all at one time? It should be taken throughout the day. It's short acting so you may be going through withdrawal if your only taking it once a day.  You really need to try to get in to see a Dr and get off this med and onto a longer acting one. I would recommend trying another antidepressant too.
I'm sorry to hear you had to walk out of the store. Can you give it a try again tomorrow?

[Poo44clooner]

You sound exactly like me many years ago. I think you have some sort of depression and anxiety and agoraphobia. You need to call your insurance company and find a few psychiatrists or call the suicide hotline and tell them your situation and they may have different avenues for you to find the right doctor because it is all about finding the right doc who will stick with you in trying to find the right meds for you. Yes Xanax works for anxiety but not for depression and it is a temporary fix. I took it too like candy in the beginning before my doc found the right med for me. Now I use Xanax as needed. Sometimes days or weeks will go by before I need to take a pill but then there are days when I really need the Xanax. If you can research in finding the right doctor on the internet for docs in your community. There are so many options, you need to find them. Have you tried to talk to your provider and maybe they might have a few referrals because good doctors know who the real good doctors are.
Anyway, you sound like you are in so much pain and I wish I could do more for you.
I am here for you if you need help or just to vent or talk.
Hoping you get better,
Angela