Son's depression

[slattery]

I've searched countless sites online and I'm still not sure where to go for help.  Our son is 22, and a college graduate. Intellectually, he's gifted by many measures with an IQ tested at 160+ and getting nearly perfect scores on his SAT (1570) & LSAT (178).  I'm being specific to make a point. However, he's depressed and  generally anxious in public settings. As a result he's barely functional. Rarely has he nor does he express any emotions or anything else about his life. He doesn't "do" anything while visiting at home (different state). He went to a therapist last summer but said it was useless and stopped after 3-4 visits. His jobs have all been limited and part-time although his employers seemed to want him back. He chooses to isolate himself and very rarely answers calls or emails, even from his (PT) employer!. When comfortable, he is "normal" but he has not engaged the world at large, even in high school.  I'm sure he's not happy and we just don't know what to do to help him move forward with any sort of life.   Any suggestions? Sure would be grateful.  Sorry if this is long winded. Thank you!

[slattery]

Thanks ww. I'll check out that show.

[wickedwanderer]

i think either type of doc could get the ball rolling, but i have no idea how you could get him to go with.  have you ever watched the show on A&E called Intervention?  families will confront loved ones who are having problems w/ addiction...maybe you and your immediate family could talk with him.  yes, it might hurt him, but you're just trying to help him...not sure.

[slattery]

He'll be visiting soon for a week or two but he may well resist. Not sure where to have that done, private psychiatrist or psychologist? Just to engage him in such a conversation would be nearly impossible.  

[wickedwanderer]

Will he visit a doctor to have an evaluation done?  I didn't even think of Aspergers.  

[slattery]

Thanks wickedw'r. I appreciate you commenting. And you're right that he's ~always been extremely shy and anxious socially. In HS, he had lots of acquaintances and rarely he has had a close friend for a time.  I guess I wonder if this is just a young guy with social anxiety or if there is an organic problem related to his brightness, something like Asperger's.    

[wickedwanderer]

i've talked to therapists who say that major life events can cause depression...ie graduation from college, marriage, birth.  it sounds like your son has always been anxious in social situations though.  also, the fact that he is not finding a full-time job after graduating might be really hurting his self esteem.  have you told him you are concerned about him?  that might help get the ball rolling and get him back to a therapist.  does he have friends that he hangs around with?  

there are so many things that could be bothering him...this really does sound like depression; it sounds a lot like what i was going through after finishing college.  i would voice your concerns with him, in a calm, no-pressure discussion.  i don't care what anyone says...therapy DOES help; you just need to right therapist.