Struggling with oncoming phobias

I've been taking Remeron over the winterseason for 3-4 years. Last summer I had a great relief of being on half the dose for sleep issues and phobia (anxiety I guess). My phobia is reptiles - right now even trying to form this, I sweat lol.

I find myself wanting to break my phobia to get to the last drop of the depression, since I loose sleep and thereby coping-techniques in the summer, but how to break a phobia without finding a least bit of motivation to face it?
It really is a let-down now when I just got off the antidepressivas. I can of course go back on them for the summer-season but wouldn't it just be better to face it?

I'm just looking for this magic thinking-cure to beat all the let-downs and reasons to be sad - and all the good and great reasons to smile isn't really working at the moment. I should probably mention that I have been off the Remeron for nearly 2 months. Could that come now - after 2 months? Wouldn't the "withdrawal" come a bit earlier?

Thankful for any kind of reply!

Florena