The past

[birdie71749]

I had a several awefull experiences happen to me when I was young. For many years, I havent thought about them but, recently now that almost 18 yrs have gone by i am sick to my stomach about those things.  Depression is a terrible thing how do you get through it, I cry everyday.  I try to stay focused on God and all the blessings in my life but, it can be hard.  how do you do it?

[113]

I had bad dreams, naseau and bad headaches. I was abused by 4 men and raped by another from the time I was 5 until I was 18. Two years ago my father tried abusing me again. I tried to commit suicide. I wanted to cut my wrist so I could get the blood out. I didn't want him to be a part of me anymore. Since then I have been in theraphy with a good conselour. I was seeeing her every two weeks. I'm finally seeing her every six weeks and consider my self a lot better. I finally realized that it wasn't my fault. I've been married to the same wonderful man for fourty years now. He has gone through this whole thing with me. If he hadn't have been there I don't know where I'd be.

[113]

Unfortunetly God couldn't give me all the help I needed. I found a good therapist that was trained in different types of abuse problems. It took better than a year and a lot of reading to get where I am today. Please look for someone that has a good background and stick with them. It can take a long time to get over what happened. We never get completely over it and the most important things to remember is "It wasn't your fault."

[capegirlnoshoes]

The past doesn't usually haunt people so badly, so many years afterwards.  It's terrible when it does.  My friend has this problem too, and she has a psychologist who counsels her about it, which she finds very helpful indeed.  Sometimes that's necessary to resolve things.  There are people trained in working through these issues with you and teaching you some coping mechanisms, which can be very useful for a lot of people to whom such coping mechanisms don't come naturally.  Also if you're getting severe anxiety symptoms over this, then you may have Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (it so happens my friend has a mild form of this).  
Focussing on God will make things better because without a positive attitude and focus it's impossible to move forward - but it often isn't enough to fix things.  Not because God isn't powerful enough, but because God wants us to help each other - if we could all get better just through our own individual personal relationship with God we would all end up very cut off and alone with regard to other human beings - but God created us to live interdependently with one another.  I guess what I'm trying to say is that God does a lot of healing through psychologists, whether they know it or not :).  
Of course, I don't know how easy it is for you to access medical services.  If you can't get a psychologist, there might be good counsellors around.  Where I'm from all the counsellors who aren't psychologists are mostly pretty rubbish.  But I'm from New Zealand, which is rather different from the situation in the US and the UK.