Lately I’ve been having thoughts. I just want to get out of this zone. Taking pain relievers really don’t relieve me of my pain. I want to go away. It’s just that it’s too hard. I’m afraid of all the people I will hurt in the process. My mom, my dad, my whole family, my friends, my teachers, my community. I want to just get away from all this but I can’t because I’m too much of a wimp. I want to just leave. Get away from this pain. I hate this feeling so much. There isn’t anyone in my friends that I can relate to, They are all happy and busy. I’m just that girl that isn’t very smart. Isn’t getting good grades. And probably isn’t going to go to a good college. I want to live in the present but it’s just too hard. The pressures of the future are just scary. and what I do today will affect what I get tomorrow. I want to hide. Get away from this world for a while then return back like nothing ever happened. Like I’m not feeling the emotions I feel right now. But that’ll never happen. Because my life is already ruined, for the future at least. I’m getting Cs and Ds for every single subject. Why? Because I can’t remember anything that I want/have to remember. Everything is just so hard. I want to leave. Get away. Move on. I don’t want to tell a professional. I’ll get sent away. Be put into a hospital. I don’t want that to happen I’ve already been to the hospital for so much of my life. I hit my head and cut my head when I was little… I’ve had to do stuff to my legs because I kept falling so much… I got my wisdom teeth pulled…It’s just too stressful. I can;t concentrate on anything therefore I can’t do anything productive without drawing my attention to something else. I feel like I need to take more pain relievers. but that won’t help. I won’t cure me. It won’t make me a sudden genius. It just won’t. Leaving to a better place is what I where I want to be right now. I can’t say goodbye world. It’s just to hard. On the other hand, I want to say “Goodbye world, now I can go to another place.” For now, I’ll just have to wipe away those tears. and go on with my life. Because I just have to. I’d be letting down on too much/ too many people and things.
I don't know if this will help but I'm 15. I've felt just in despair for quite a while. Just on and off. Since Middle School. And I'm in High School now.
just keep going on day by day please dont try to harm yourself better days are ahead of you...rite now i am suffering from thoughts that i will stop careing for anything and questioning myself if i would hurt my family i was in a deep hole but living day by day has made me realize that they are just thoughts and nothing in reality!! ive been getting better.....i just wanted to share because some make the wrong decision to harm themselfs when better days are ahead...time heels everything......you are only 15 you havent even lived yet...stay strong and take care!!
Hi, I suffer from depression but not that bad as you do I can tell it is stress and a lot of you being sad do not harm yourself or anyone in your path please (: what I recommend is you talking to someone that has the same problems bc that helped me out a lot and another few gongs I want you to do is warm up some tea not sweet but not unsweetened and go for a walk a 2 hour walk to get away from everything I also want you to think happy thoughts do something that makes you happy cause honey everyday you think of that stuff it's just making it worse so please just do those 2 things for me do something that you enjoy doing and so it everyday it'll help you trust me I did it and when you go to sleep or feel that way go on you tube and listen to metatation music it will help you relax and when you feel that way soak in a hot bubble bat listening to metatation music it will help u relax I know it's not the best music in te world just try it please
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