Depression Community
Thoughts that aren't mine
About This Community:

This patient support community is for discussions relating to depression, counseling, sleep problems, and nutrition.

Font Size:
A
A
A
Background:
Blank
Blank
Blank
Blank Blank

Thoughts that aren't mine

I'm 21 and being treated for depression.  I've had instances in the past of hearing things that weren't there (never talking TO me, and I always knew it wasn't real), but a psychiatrist told me that can be a symptom of severe depression.  Thankfully, she was right, as the symptoms went away once we got my depression more under control.  Another thing I've experienced, though, is it being "loud" in my head.  I tried explaining it to my current psychiatrist when I realized it (I wasn't aware of it until it was gone), but he had trouble understanding what I meant.

It's as if there's background noise in my mind.  Sometimes it's the same effect as when you're at a restaurant and there are people talking - the noise of their conversations is there, but you're not focussed on that, and you don't hear what they're saying.  Other times, I'm actually aware of a few thoughts going on at one time, but only one of them is in my control.  Sometimes the other thoughts can be relevant to something in my life, but other times it can be random statements shooting through my head.  I imagine it's similar to what it would feel like to hear other people's thoughts - it's a phrase or ongoing stream and I can't always tell its context, and can't make it stop.

Now, I'm not delusional - I don't actually think I'm hearing other people's thoughts, it's just the best way I could think to describe it.  I think the part that confused my doctor was that I'm not "hearing" voices.  It doesn't present as an external noise, but internal.  The way you hear yourself think, not the way you hear other people having a conversation.

I was on a low dose of an anti-psychotic for the voices for a while, and this "noise" also went away.  I've been off that medication for a couple months now, and I'd been doing well - I haven't been hearing voices or anything, but I noticed the other day that this "noise" in my mind has been creeping back in.

Does anyone understand what I'm talking about?  Has anyone else experienced this?  Do you think it's also just a symptom of the depression, or something more? (I'm depressed but it's still under control - nothing like the severity of it when I was hearing things.)  Can you think of a better way to describe it?  I'm going to talk to my psychiatrist about it next time I see him, since it's an issue again, but I was hoping someone might be able to help me understand in the meantime.

Thanks!
Related Discussions
7 Comments Post a Comment
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Hello
I havent experienced this, hearing thoughts.  But my thoughts became irrational.

I had untreated depression and it turned into psychotic depression.  I think it is just a way that depression gets worse.

I think hearing thoughts is close to hearing voices.

I also took anti dpressant with anti psychotic, which worked.  The first time I gave up the anti psychotic I slipped back.  So I took it for another year and did manage to give it up 2 months ago.
Blank
627145_tn?1230309226
I think I've had what you are describing, with hearing a voice in my head.  It only happens on rare occasions, and I have no idea what a trigger would be.  It usually sounds like a boring teacher or my mother giving a lecture, and it is more boring than anything.  
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
I experience this too. Like an annoying internal voice/ dialogue inside my head. I am usually unable to decipherwhat the voice(me) is saying ,except occasionally i'll make out a few random words or an odd sentence, that generally don't make any sense. If i am actively engaged in a real conversation with someone, i tend not to suffer whith this. However,if i am inert e.g falling a sleep, then it tends to occur. Maybe you could attribute this to the conscious mind winding down / unconscious mind take over. It also occurs quite often as i am waking up. Sometimes in the mornings i'll be aware of this voice and it's inane ramblings droning away in my head again, but at the very moment i become aware of this the voice  it stops and i can't really remember any of what i heard. Sometimes i'll just be sitting doing something, like playing the guitar, and as i am concentrating on that i become aware of the fact that this voice has been rambling in the back of my mind again.
There was another post on this forum about constantly talking to yourself  in your head . I feel that i do that do. I feel like i am constantly talking to myself in my head or some third party ,as someone on this forum described it. Only sometimes, a lot of time, this third party is someone i know. It can be someone i know quite well, or just an aquaintance, or people whom i've never properly met. These conversations take the form of arguements, casual chat . They kinda cover the whole spectrum of conversation. Sometimes i'll be engaged in a perfectly normal pleasant conversation with someone on the outside, whilsty simultaneously engaging in one of these internal dialogues. If i'm having an argument in the internal  then i might scowl or grimace or frown or whatever. Do you get where i'm going with this? Then th real person i am talking to is wondering what the **** is wrong with me... sorry i can't elucidate more on this,
Ok. Also, i think i have this nervous tick. This is one of the worst parts: i feel like i am constantly fighting the urge to laugh or smirk. I feel like i can't control my emotions. I  think the laugh/ smirk used to be a nervous thing, but now i feel like it is more of a muscle memory related thing: My brain has learnt this mode of behaviour, and regardless of whether i feel nervous/ self conscious whatever, it just happens, or tries to happen( i fight it) This even happens sometimes when i am completely alone e.g i was walking home at 12 midnight there was no one / nothing around that could make me self conscious but i still felt myself wanting to laugh.
Also: A lot of the time  i feel very anxious and self conscious. I often feel that people are laughing at me. Sometimes  when people smile at me i believe they are actually laughing at me
I guess i feel depressed or sad  a lot to. But it's usually not that severe. I don't exhibit your typical depression symtoms (symptoms) e.g staying in bed all day etc . Basically, i function. But sometimes that's all i feel i do . I exist. I don't feel i've ever experienced long term happiness. Even when i do experience  a positive  emotion it's always coloured with this negative depressing feeling. It's always there in the background.like a vague feeling of malaise or something. This is hard. I'm not very good at talking about or descrbing emotions, and i wish i could give a more coherent and concise version of what i feel. but i can't, sorry

one more thing i notice: My sexuality / sexual preference seems to swing/vacillate from one extrem to the other e.g straight - bi - gay - a sexual
Sorry for this inarticualate ramble and sorry for hijacking this thread
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
oh, ok
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
I have this problem also.. strange thoughts that I know arent really what I think, that they are insane or absolutely out of context for me.  I have been off my meds (usually lithium, klonopin, ambien, and topamax) for a while now and it seems to be getting worse.  i have heard on random (not often) occasions actual screaming or my name being yelled out and i know its in my head, also, I have heard whole sentences, I went as far as to think my house was haunted. heh.  but I know its all a symptom of my bipolar/BPD/OCD issues.  the worst part is (and mostly this happened when I was a child) the guilt from the crazy thoughts would eat me alive and i would keep thinking about them and feel awful, even though I knew I didnt really feel this way- but as a young child, I thought I must be a monster.  Now I know Im obsessive compulsive (I used to have the compulsion to scream aloud compulsively when I was 10) and that its all part of the disorder.  I am making arrangements to get back on my medications, unfortunately in the town I live in, the problem is is that the only doctors I have seen have been horrible here so far so im always terrified to see a new one.  But its becoming unbearable so I am hopefully going to ask to be referred by my family doctor when he gets back from vacation next week.  Going to group therapy helped me immensely in the past, and I am going to do that too.  Im glad to know im not the only one who goes through this though, sometimes i just feel like im plain crazy.  lol.
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
I also have these random sentences that pop in my head mostly when I'm getting ready in the morning.  I had been ignoring it for a while but one day I listened..and it made no sense.  Now anytime it happens ill try to figure out if it has any correlation to my life..and it never does.  I never know what it means.  I grew up in a fast traumatic childhood but I've never been depressed. For the most part I'm a super happy person. I saw a therapist and asked about it and she suggested writing them down but I always forget.  I've been wondering lately what's wrong with me.  I do also have very paranoid thoughts.  
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
I also have these random sentences that pop in my head mostly when I'm getting ready in the morning.  I had been ignoring it for a while but one day I listened..and it made no sense.  Now anytime it happens ill try to figure out if it has any correlation to my life..and it never does.  I never know what it means.  I grew up in a fast traumatic childhood but I've never been depressed. For the most part I'm a super happy person. I saw a therapist and asked about it and she suggested writing them down but I always forget.  I've been wondering lately what's wrong with me.  I do also have very paranoid thoughts.  
Blank
Post a Comment
To
Recent Activity
Avatar_f_tn
Blank
mommy52 commented on here r my medhelp fri...
54 mins ago
Avatar_m_tn
Blank
Spectrals added the Sleep Tracker
59 mins ago
517872_tn?1406053764
Blank
realjimmy commented on realjimmy's status
1 hr ago
MedHelp Health Answers
Blank
Mood Tracker
Track your mood over time
Start Tracking Now
Top Mood Disorders Answerers
585414_tn?1288944902
Blank
ILADVOCATE
NY
6726276_tn?1388332222
Blank
CRSeaside
Huntington Beach, CA
480448_tn?1403547723
Blank
nursegirl6572
PA
1110049_tn?1384640486
Blank
4Maddie44
Dorset, United Kingdom
Avatar_f_tn
Blank
remar
st. louis, MO
Avatar_f_tn
Blank
mandy876
haltom city, TX
Depression Community Resources
RSS Expert Activity
233488_tn?1310696703
Blank
New Cannabis Article from NORTH Mag...
Jul 20 by John C Hagan III, MD, FACS, FAAOBlank
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
3 Reasons Why You are Still Binge E...
Jul 14 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
Emotional Eating: What Your Closet ...
Jul 09 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank
Top Mood Disorders Answerers
585414_tn?1288944902
Blank
ILADVOCATE
NY
6726276_tn?1388332222
Blank
CRSeaside
Huntington Beach, CA
480448_tn?1403547723
Blank
nursegirl6572
PA
1110049_tn?1384640486
Blank
4Maddie44
Dorset, United Kingdom
Avatar_f_tn
Blank
remar
st. louis, MO
Avatar_f_tn
Blank
mandy876
haltom city, TX