Aa
Aa
A
A
A
Close
667078 tn?1316000935

To All who feel Hopeless

I am 46 and have had depression my whole life. I was first hospitalized at 16.

I have been on the  whole PDR of psychotropic drugs. I was hospitalized frequently through my twenties.

I have had over 50 Psychiatrist and done lots of talk therapy.

I have fallen through the cracks of the mental health system with no insurance and no help at times.

I have been happily married for 11 years.

I still get depressed but I have learned  what to do when the disease is talking. I made a plan of action for when I get deep in the hole. I keep it where I can see it. It has simple things like call my designated person and say how I am feeling.

If I keep destructive thoughts to myself they have more power. The person I picked does not freak when I am honest. For me its a Psychiatrist.

I like to walk when depressed. At first it is hard but exercise helps the brain.

Recently I was given another challenge besides Bipolar (mostly depression) Multiple Sclerosis. My immune system is eating my brain. It is causing mental confusion, more depression, fatigue, and I am losing the use of my left side of my body. I also have bad headaches and asthma.

One thing I have more than my younger years is hope. I have accepted depression as a disease as I have the MS.
I am learning to work around them.

I did go back to counseling recently. I could not afford it but I also could not afford not to go.

When I am depressed I can't remember what it is like not to be depressed, when I am not depressed I can't remember exactly how bad depression feels.

I am depressed now so I am taking care of myself. I was up for five weeks straight which was great. The last two years with all the tests to diagnose MS were really hard.

NEVER GIVE UP HOPE, YOU ARE A WORTHY INDIVIDUAL!

Alex


6 Responses
Sort by: Helpful Oldest Newest
Avatar universal
Hi there,

What a great post(s). The key thing you tell others I think they need to hear is to live and work around these things. For some of us depression will always be there and learning how to push it into the background is so damned hard but once you can do that your life becomes manageable and you know you are not going THERE again.

Another thing you say I agree fully with is about not knowing what it feels like to be not depressed any more. I'm depressed all the time, to some degree and truly I don't know if this is how normals feel or just the best I'll feel. It feels OK to me so really I don't care any more what the average bear feels like. I'm content with it and that's enough after such a hard road.

Power to you HVAC, you must be a strong person to have dealt with all that and particulaly so many pdocs!! There's a fruitcake or two in that lot I bet!! I've met a few too.
Helpful - 0
667078 tn?1316000935
Its about accepting one thing at a time. I have two sayings on my refrigerator.
"Its not what happens to you in life its what you do about it"
"True contentment  in life comes from playing the hand you are dealt"

A sense of humor really helps too.

With depression its about realizing its a filter for which you are viewing the world and its not reality.

I think we all have genetic weaknesses. Some people its your heart. For us its depression and when stress hits the brain chemistry changes. We need to be kind to ourselves.

You have to realize your thinking is off and not listen to it. For me my brain tells me people think I am a jerk, when they don't.

You have to accept you are depressed. It is not something anyone can will away. It takes too much energy to fight it. It is like body surfing a big wave knocks you under if you hold your breath and feel the current you can come up to the surface between waves and be safe or you can fight it and expend so much energy you drown.

The worse place to be is a lone in your head. I do anything to distract myself.
Call someone who is sick or house bound.
I take a walk.
I go to a public place with a book to be around people.
I listen to music. Music changes brain chemistry.
I have pets I spend time with them.
I have a bird feeder. I watch the birds and squirrels.
I make simple lists and check things off, even mailing a bill.
I hate doing dishes, so I say isn't cool you can still pick up a dish to wash it.
I rearrange one dresser drawer.

It is an illness like any other and should be respected. Proper sleep, not too much or to little, proper diet, and exercise help.

Take care and know you are not alone,
Alex



Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
you are a very strong person and you have kept such a positive attitude about your life..how do you do it?
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I'm so sorry!  I even have a sister-in-law named Alex (short for Alexis).  Okay everyone, listen to the woman!
Helpful - 0
667078 tn?1316000935
Yeah I have read "Tuesdays with Morrie" good book. . Oh and the name is confusing I am female.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
What an awesome attitude you have!  Have you read "Tuesdays With Morrie?", you remind me of him.  I walk everyday. I have found it clears my mind so much, my husband calls it my therapy and he can see a big difference in me afterwards.  Sometimes I spend a lot of time crying, other times I'm happy, but it does work.  Sometimes I have to force myself to walk, but I know what the end result will be, so I do it.

Everyone listen to what this man is saying, he found hope when others would have given up and drowned in self pity.

Best of wishes to you Alex, keep your hope and good attitude, and if you haven't read "Tuesdays With Morrie" I highly recommend it for you and everyone.

Take care.....
Helpful - 0
Have an Answer?

You are reading content posted in the Depression Community

Top Mood Disorders Answerers
Avatar universal
Arlington, VA
Learn About Top Answerers
Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
15 signs that it’s more than just the blues
Discover the common symptoms of and treatment options for depression.
We've got five strategies to foster happiness in your everyday life.
Don’t let the winter chill send your smile into deep hibernation. Try these 10 mood-boosting tips to get your happy back
A list of national and international resources and hotlines to help connect you to needed health and medical services.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.