Today my depression reached to maximum
I do not know how many of you like Valentine's day.
I find it sad. Reminds me that I am alone.
And the one that I love is with his gf having fun. He even organised a surprise for her and all...
So I wrote this poem..
If you feel like that talk to me.
I really feel alone today....
This is how it goes
Someone laughs and someone cries
The one enjoys and the other suffers
This is how it goes
My Valentine is far
He laughs and has fun
I am his little shiny toy
This is how my life always was
A broken Valentine's day
No one can understand
How it feels to be that alone
To think that all have someone
That all think of someone
but no one thinks of me.
This is how it goes
he will have fun
I will not
He will laugh and smile and be happy
I will be not
The knife he put in my heart, this cursed day goes too deep to handle.
This is how it goes
Love is the game that one wins and one suffers
My sky is dark
I feel it will fall on me.
I cant breathe
I can die on a Valentine's day.
So I can complete my curse.
I know exaptly how you feel. I'm in the same boat. I have two kids and one on the way with my ex. We started messing around again but never told me he had a girlfriend. Now that I'm pregnant he tells me how much he likes her and wants to be with her. We live right next door to each other and now he brings he around all the time. Our kids meet her for the first time a few days ago. He wasn't told her I'm pregnant yet and i suppose it's because he wants to better their relationship in hopes that she doesn't dump him. I have been so depressed over the whole situation.
We just happened to love wrong people. I am sorry you are pregnant from him and he treats you like that.
The one I love is my best friend. He breaks my heart cause he found the "love of his life" in a girl that I am sure she will break his heart. I just pray and hope for his happiness even if it means I will lose him. It is not that I ever had him....
I cry too. I guess we all cry for love. I am covered with my blanket and cry without ending...
How you handle with your children? I mean you manage to hide them how sad you are? You will keep the little baby? Please talk to me..I so want to communicate with someone...
Honestly...all of these "holidays" are overrated, and the MAIN purpose they serve is to help retailers and help to sell cards. It's JUST another day.
Here's an idea...try this. Make today about YOU and celebrating YOU...regardless if you're alone or not. You have to be okay with yourself before you can ever be okay in a relationship. Go out and buy yourself one of those silly heart boxes of candy, some pretty flowers, and treat yourself to something nice..dinner, a massage, whatever...to celebrate who you are as a person. Be thankful for what you have and who you are and realize that you don't need anyone to be a special and wonderful person.
People get so caught up in relationships that they lose sight of themselves. Make today about YOU, and celebrating who you are and the great things you've done.
"He even organised a surprise for her and all..."
Listen, it is not healthy to keep track of that kind of stuff..it will keep you from moving on..so however you're getting this info...cut the source...either unfriend the necessary people on FB, or if someone is telling you this stuff, tell them to stop. You don't NEED to hear that crap. It's just pouring salt in the wounds.
One more thing...it's great that you're writing to deal with your feelings...that's great.
Here's another thing to try...you write very well, so try writing another poem...this one only about you, the good things you like about yourself, the things you've accomplished. Surprisingly...it's just as easy to express positive thoughts as it is negative ones.
Don't give someone else who has moved on so much of your power...he doesn't deserve it sweetie. WE are in charge of our lives and WE are in charge of how we let people treat us. Don't waste precious moments of YOUR day worrying about him.
Work on it...even if it is a short one...write about something positive and notice the difference in how you feel. A lot of addressing depression comes from within. We are REALLY good at ruminating and keeping ourselves in a dark, dreary place. Put that effort into positive thoughts. Just try it. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.
Your words are so comforting....
Thank you so much.
You are right in so many levels that makes me feel dummy for feeling like that for him. I do not really keep track of what he does. He makes me know them because he is my best friend and clueless on how I feel for him...
He makes me know them because he is my best friend and clueless on how I feel for him... .
Awww, that's a tough tough situation to be in!!! That may be something worth giving some thought to. If you're having feelings for him and he's not available, or the idea of you guys being a couple isn't obtainable or realistic, it may be better to make some changes, as hard as it would be.
Pining over someone is so unhealthy...been there, done that. :0)
Hope I lifted your spirits a little, and I hope you do something nice for yourself.
I try to cut him off.
I try so hard that I get sick in body from my effort.
But every time I fail...
I just avoid him today.
You are right but I dont know if I am that powerful.
Your words comfort me very much.
Reminds me that I am a human too.
Sometimes I feel I am only his shadow....
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