Waves of Depression

[coachdenise]

I was just wondering if anyone else experiences their depression the way I do.  I will be fine one minute and then the next minute, it feels like someone has sucked all the joy out of me and I just want to cry uncontrollably.  It's horrible.  

[migrainehell]

Yes, i feel the same way.  One minute I am okay and the next I am curled up in a ball on druggin myself with sleeping pills so I can get through it without killing myself.

[hell1971]

Hi you have said things feel different, how has it been in the past as this sound exactly where I am right now, this morning I was happy and normal then boom feel like life itself should end because I cant take this inconsistancy any longer, I just want to know when I wake up and feel ok that it will at least last that day. Can I ask what medication are you on? I am on epilim and Lithium, diagnosed BP2 at xmas and am recoverring from a mixed state episode brought on by citropram-long story.

[coachdenise]

Thanks for your comments.  I've been under a psychiatrist care since I was 18...more than 20 years now.  I had a couple of bad episodes, but I never experienced my depression quite like this before.  I went to a therapist last night  (I haven't been in therapy for about 13 years) and he said it sounds like I'm rapid cycling.  I am bi-polar, I just don't have very many manic episodes...i go from being okay to deep depression and back.  My physical health is good as I've just been through numerous tests in the past few months.  I see my psychiatrist again next week and I'm sure she'll want to adjust my medication again.  I'm a little fearful of that because of the uncertainty that comes with trying new medications.  The last one she put me on made me worse so I had to stop taking it a few days ago.  I guess right now everything makes me fearful.  

[yogi48]

You are not alone in your pain. I'm new to this forum and I have been going through the same things. Up one moment and down the next. I have tried to hide these feelings over the years but now things have come to a head whereas I have to vent and seek help. So hang in there and we will overcome our problem. Keep your chin up. yogi48

[LeftCoastChick]

I'm sorry to hear you are going through that, it's an awful way to feel. I would recommend you see your doctor and get a physical done,  to rule out any hormonal imbalances or vitamin deficiencies. If your health is fine, it's a good idea to get a referral to a psychiatrist, a GP cannot really diagnose you. Once you get a diagnosis, on top of being followed by a p-doc, search out a support group, so that you are actively participating in you road to wellness.