What do I do now?

Hello,

I've been a member of this site for awhile, but I was too scared to write.  I'm out of options on treatment for severe depression.  I have a psychiatrist and we tried multiple trials of medications and none helped or the medication was effective.  I have a very caring doctor and she hasn't given up on me yet.  I've been depressed for awhile and even with twice a week therapy, I can't handle the triggers.  Triggers that don't stop.  I'm really tired of this life and looking for ways to go.  I failed twice (suicide) and ended in the psych ward.  It was horrible.  I would rather be dead than going to another hospital.  It's extremely frustrating.  I have multiple health problems (cancer, sleep disorder, depression, pain from a major reconstructive surgery.  As much as I want to die, I have a doctor that cares and told me that it would be horrible if I finished my plan.  I don't want to hurt her as she done everything for me to keep me alive.  I asked to be released from her care (I didn't tell her that I was going to finish this), but she told me that I would need to find another psychiatrist before she can release me.  The big problem is that no doctor wanted to take me.  No one wants a suicidal patient.  What do I do now?  I don't want to keep doing this as my medical expenses are hurting my family financially.  Anyone has a suggestion?  I'm sorry if this question isn't proper for this site.

[therese83]

Your question is fine, you are in the right place.

What are the triggers and what medications have you tired?

You are being very hard on yourself, why not be a little kinder to yourself ?

[lilymoon]

So sorry to hear this!!! Have you ever discussed ect? It has helped many people for whom nothing else helped.

[smileyhappy]

Hi there,
You are in the right place for help.  I have had 4 depressions in my life. Two major ones which I was hospitalised. My first at 25 and last at 45. A psychiatrist prescribed me Seroquel  for major depression and I had a psychoatic episode. I was admitted to a psyc ward and was there for 6 months before they found meds that worked for me.  I take Lithium and Manerix. I can relay to you. Your not alone, alot of us have gone through this. Do not stop to see your psychiatrist. Especially if you have a good one.  You are feeling depressed that's why you want to give up. Ask her if these meds would be an option for you. It changed my life!  This last one happened to me on my 45 birthday. It sucked then but I am so happy now that I got the right help. I fell normal. No depressing feelings. And I know what it feels like for your family too. I had a loving husband and two young children at the time waiting for me. He has his wife back and the kids have their mom back.  All in all do not give up! You will find the right meds, it just takes time.  I will say a prayer for you. You can ask me questions if you want. I will be there for you. From someone who understands. Smileyhappy