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Avatar universal

What good is talking?

Ok this may be a stupid question but can somebody tell me what good talking to a psychologist is going to do?  Is it going to make my past be all rainbows and sunshine?  Is it going to make all the crap going on in my life disappear?  Will just talking about all this depression and past and traumatic events make me want to live?  I do not understand the point of seeing a psychologist, I am going because I promised I would but I really don't think it will do any good.  Can someone explain to me how talking about it makes it all better?
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Avatar universal
Thank you Mammo, you give me encouragement!  I am worried about how this will all go but I am really trying to accept the help.  And I am taking my meds again.  I hope you are right and it gets better and easier, especially before it's too late!
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Avatar universal
You cut yourself to ease your pain....you are still entitled to medical care for this, it's all part of your condition.  Don't be so hard on yourself, and stay the course with your treatment plan.  This will get better, and easier.
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Avatar universal
Thank you mammo, I forget sometimes that this is still medical.  Not just the cuts.  I have a hard time when the dr looks at the cuts and gets worried and wants to "treat" them because I feel like I do not deserve medical attention for my wounds painful as they can be because I did it to myself!  I caused the cuts so I feel like I have no right to be treated for them like an injury because it is not like an injury at all.  It was done on purpose!
Anyhow I am agreeing (scared as I am) to see a psychiatrist and keep seeing a psychologist and I think then I won't need to see the dr as often!
Maybe that why she's been pushing to see a psychiatrist so it's not on her for the meds anymore.  Who knows!
Anyhow thank you for your perspective!
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Avatar universal
No need to apologize, we all know your frustrations with this.  Please keep in mind that this is no different than any other medical condition requiring medication and medical care.  We are too hard on ourselves in thinking because it is a "mental" condition that we should be able to handle it ourselves....because we can't.  This is why we have the specialists in this field.  We need help and there is no shame in this, don't add to your problems by beating up on yourself!  You've tried, did your best, now it's time for the professionals to help you.  Take care.
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Avatar universal
Ok well I will try it.  I get frustrated that I can't do this on my own.  I want to be better but I'm afraid of how long it's taking and how hard it's gonna be.  I appreciate all the help everyone is trying to give me.  I am sorry it seems like I'm fighting it
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Avatar universal
The psychiatrist can prescribe medication, your psychologist can't......you need both! You should be willing to do whatever is needed to get better, and stop getting angry when they are trying to help you.  They have a reason for what they do, you need to trust in them.  Most of us are working with a psychiatrist and a therapist/psychologist.
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Avatar universal
So anyone know what the point of seeing a psychologist and a psychiatrist is?  I get one or the other I just don't understand having to see both?  I am worried about seeing a psychiatrist in the first place but seeing both doesn't make sense!
Clearly the dr doesn't trust me to just go because she is making the appointment and kept repeating that need to go to it and still see the psychologist as well!  All I can say at this point is this better work!!!! Oh but my question anyone know the point in seeing both?
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Avatar universal
Often we have suffered a traumatic event in our past that we chose to forget about because we didn't know how to deal with it at the time.  When we do this, it comes back in the form of anxiety and/or depression.  So, although you feel nothing happened you may learn with therapy that something did.  You will learn to deal with it and move on with your life.  Therapy can be scary in the beginning, but it's great that you are opening up to your therapist.  You'll be amazed at how much they can teach us about ourselves!  It can be sad, or scary but in the end you are a happier, healthier person!  They are well trained and truly understand what you are enduring, so feel free to always be totally honest with him/her.  Your boyfriend doesn't realize that you have no control over the cutting, and it is YOU seeking help for this, so you obviously want to stop.  Be proud of the steps you have taken to get help, they are BIG steps!!!  Keep up the good work and keep moving forward, you deserve and want a better life.  I wish you all the best and take care!
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Avatar universal
I will show my dr on Monday!  I can't cut all day today as part of a promise/deal I made with my bf!  So now all I have been thinking about is cutting!
The traumatic events that I referred to in my first post were just normal childhood over-exaggerated parts of life not a real trauma like someone with PTSD would have!
It was scary and hard to talk to the therapist! I don't feel relieved yet, but hopefully next time.  I go back in 3 weeks.  So hopefully it will not be as scary as it was yesterday.  I am trying this for my kids and for my family and bf, I am not doing this for me because I do not deserve such effort into life.
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Avatar universal
It's interesting that you're not sure of what traumatic event because in your first post you mention traumatic events.

It could be that you're cutting to avoid the pain from the 'trauma'.  Some people call it dissociating.  Trauma can be anything.

Telling someone was a good start.  That must have felt scary but also a relief in a sense.

Cutting afterwards is likely to be due to the stress from the appointment and discussing stuff.

I think that you should get your hand seen too.  It doesn't sound very good.
I would advise you to get your arms checked out and also I think it would be a good idea to show or talk to your doctor about it.

It's hard to stop something that you rely on to cope.

I think you did awesome for starting to tell your story.  It's also good that you are receiving some support through all this.
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Avatar universal
Talking does several things.  No, it won't change the things in your past, but you will learn to no longer be a victim of your past.  You'll learn how to let go of past events that are hurting you now.  It will teach you how to cope with the curve balls that life throws at all of us, and to see the positive side of your life.  If you get angry during a therapy session, it's because the therapist is hitting a nerve which means you're close to something that is really bothering you.  This is when a lot of people get angry and leave or shut down.  What one really needs to do is stay the course and even if we get angry or cry, keep going!  Yes, it may make you want to live, and this alone is reason enough to talk and talk.  Sometimes life can be too much for us, and we need help and this is why we have the specialists. You'll learn how to cope better, accept what you can't change and change what you can.  I know it's cliche', but it's true.  You have a lot of anger, and I'm sure with good reason.  You will learn how to let this anger go because it is eating you up inside, trust me I've been there.  Don't lose hope, and stay strong.  You can do this.  Take care.
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Avatar universal
I always found psychology sessions difficult.  When you have a good psychologist though it can make a huge difference.

I think therapy can help you get to a point where you perceive your past differently.  Therapy doesn't change what happened but it can help you give it new meaning.

Current issues have to be dealt with.  Therapy doesn't magic stuff away but it can help to enhance coping skills and help you to problem-solve situations.

Talking can sometimes make you feel worse but if you have a good therapist then yes, talking about stuff will give you new hope and help you to make changes and make you feel as though you want to live and to engage in life.

Seeing a psychologist should help you to gain insights into your issues and help you to work through them.

You could even have this discussion with your psychologist.

I also found psychology sessions helpful in that they provided me some structure and gave me an opportunity to talk through stuff with someone.  Gave me an opportunity to socialize.

Therapy should be a place where you feel safe and where you can discuss almost absolutely anything.

Good therapy helped me.  Bad therapy made me worse.
Talking just helps get to the core of the problem which are the underlying issues.

To me it sounds as though the thought of talking to someone makes you feel angry (and a little bit hopeful).  Therapy can also help validate your thoughts and feelings (even if they aren't helpful and do need changing).  I found acceptance in therapy.

Therapy can help.  Give it a chance.
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Avatar universal
Talking brings out all the bitterness inside and re-arranges your thought processes to think in a positive direction.  I am sure you have been very hurt in your life as with many, many others, but how you take it internally, shows externally.  I'm sure the people you love want the best for you.  All those thoughts in your mind need releasing and re-organizing.  Do you want a happier life and do you want to know how to achieve it?
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