Whats the point?

I'm 16 and i know i have everything to live for, but all i want is for it to end. My life has been hell for years. I'm currently seeing a Councellor during school time to try and help. Nothing is working though, becasue no matter what people say I still have to come home to hell.  My dad is suicidal, he has tried to kill himself a few times and failed. He has done other stuff too, screaming out for help. He has only just started seeing a Phycologist because where i live it is a years waiting list. It only took the last thing he done for them all to see, he could have killed me. Not on purpose, he would never do that. I love my dad with all my heart but i am terrified to go to sleep because i'm scared he might do something. I know the only reason he is doing all this was because he was sexually abused as a child. Then when i was a kid my mum got raped and everything changed, my dad started talking about what happened to him, my mum tried to top herself and now she pretends like everything is okay. I need for it to end! I can't tell anyone either, not even my councellor understands. I keep looking up ways to die, i don't to. Not really, but it seems like the only way out. I look at all the posts saying, oh help me i'm going to kill myself, they don't really know how this feels!!! Someone help.

[WaldenSeven]

My advice is simply this: Call a suicide prevention hotline...NOW. They are not just there to make you 'feel better'. They have many resources that they can refer you to that CAN help you NOW not on a waiting list. Don't bother waiting for responses here. Do this immediately. You have a computer obviously so look up the suicide prevention hotline in your area via yp.com or the like. Good luck and God bless.

[j17c27]

I know how you feel and it su*cks.  Im 17, my mom is very suicidal and always tells me her plans to kill herself.  Im very suicidal myself and have tried to kill myself before.  I know your feeling really alone right now, but your not.  And even though were a bunch of strangers posting to your question, we do care.  the world seems so unfair, and it is...but if we find things to live for it makes it a little easier.  Maybe try looking into hobbies...I really enjoy photography so when im feeling really shi*tty i go out and take a bunch of pictures and focus my mind on that instead of all the messed up thoughts about life.  Reading helps too, to get your mind focused in on someone else's world.  I know its so hard to be talked out of this kind of mood....when your feeling so hopeless and helpless...but things do change....and right now may not be a good moment, but they will come soon.  I know there really isnt much I can say that will truely make you feel better, but just know that your are not alone...even though it may seem like it.

[julie1224]

mental healh hotline NOW  he needs to be addmitted where they have the staff to take care of him dr on staff nurses around the clock and a general dr as well this would be the fasted way get meds and the right ones... get a hold of me if u need more info.
please do him a favor and call now

[mdp678]

I totally understand how you can feel about wanting life to end because it seems unbearable and nobody can relate. i of course also agree with calling the hotline. its nothing to be embarrassed about but you do need to get yourself help even if you cannot see the point or dont think that it will help. I have experienced suicidal thoughts myself and i understand that its chemically something in your brain that is going wrong. your circumstances are extremely difficult but please realize that while it may seem unlikly or futile, the way you are feeling could be caused by something out of your control. the brain is a tricky thing and the slightest chemical alteration can make you think things that u never expected or may not want to think. There IS help out there