What's wrong with me?

I am of Chinese decent, born in Taipei, Taiwan. I have 2 older siblings and a half younger sibling. I was born with a bone disorder called achondroplasia. To give me more oportunities, my mom migrated my family to the United States when I was a toddler. I had a very ple... [More] asant childhood.

Until, my mother and biological dad divorced when I was 6 and my mother re-married when I was 7. My stepfather considered me a bad omen and made my life miserable. My mom became pregnant with my younger sister when I was 8. He did not let me near my mom (and beat me when I was) in fear of his child being born with dwarfism. I was physically abused by my stepfather, mom, and older siblings (between ages 6 and 12). I was often left home alone, and forgotten. I often spent days and/or weeks staying the night at friend's houses. To help take care of myself while I was not home, I stole money from my family.

After a beating, I was finally taken away from home at the age of 12 by the police to be in foster care. I lived in 3 long term foster homes and 2 very short term foster homes. My mom and stepfather divorced when I was 16 and I moved back home at 18.

Shortly after I moved back home, I started to realize my mother does not accept me as being her child. When she brags about her children, she only speaks of my siblings. She hides me from her friends and is very bitter towards me. I feel like she's angry that we had to move to the U.S. because of me and she has always made sure to make me feel like the blacksheep of the family. I basically do not know what to do. I desire the feel of a family connection, knowing that there are people who are will be there for me unconditionally.

I am a very shy and lonesome person when I am at home. When I am at out, I am very talkative and pleasant person to those I like. However, I am noticing I am having a lot of problems with quite a few co-workers. Those I do not like make me angry at the littlest things (i.e. singing, talking loudly) I feel like if I don't do something or say something when people aggrevate me, that I will explode. Which is causing me problems at work. Even though I want to make friends, I am not eager to and I do not make much of an attempt. I have recently discovered my own kind of therapy in retail, but that will only go so far. I am here on this site hoping there are other people in this world who can relate to what I am going through and who can help me become a more happy person. [Less]

[bosnianworrier]

find a psychiatrist and therapist

[george73]

please do. You had a nasty life. I would not be as nice as you if I were in your shoes. It helps to talk, talk, talk!

[tim777]

are u a boy or girl?